Thirty minutes had passed and we are still not yet through with Reading Drill #1.
She was perspiring non-stop.
Cher: Pagod ka na? Gusto mo bukas naman?
JM:(shakes her head) Ok lang po ako.
Wipes her face, goes back to uttering the sounds of every letter in the CVC word. Every time she reads a word, she would look up to me, her eyes seeking affirmation then I would say, "Yes, very good." She goes back to reading, perspiring, wiping her face, pushing herself to read.
The only way for me to survive this phase is step into their shoes, feel their struggles and learn with them side by side. When I discovered that most of my kids are non and frustrated readers, honestly, I felt weak. I felt helpless. How can I teach these concepts if they can't read?! How can I meet the expectations of the organization? How can I prove that I am a teacher?
Then I realized, most of the things I know and have learned weren't fed to me by my teachers, I got it from my love of reading. My teachers taught me the love of reading.
Put aside the curriculum for now. They need to learn to READ. I've tried to teach the non-readers the concepts of the curriculum, we all end up exhausted. Disappointed of ourselves and very low mastery level. The major feeling is FRUSTRATION.
Cher: Alam mo bang hindi ka marunong magbasa?
JM: (Nods her head)
Cher: Sa totoo lang masakit ang puso ni teacher kasi di ka pa marunong, pero alam kong matuto kang magbasa.
JM: Opo Teacher Kat, gusto ko po talaga mag-aral magbasa.
Cher: Oo. Kaya natin to. Basta dapat kahit sa bahay magbabasa ka. Dito practice lang lagi.
JM: Cher, sa Lunes po ba kasama na ko sa remedial? Para po masabi ko na kay mama na makakapagbasa na ko. (I had just discovered today that she is a non-reader though she know the sight words, probably she memorized most of them)
Cher: Yes. Kasama ka na.
JM: Yes! Bye Cher!
A good start. Eagerness. The push.
I may be seen as someone teaching for this country, but I am just aiming for one kid at a time. I hope and pray that I can keep this eagerness in me aflame all the way. May God be with me always. For without Him, I am nothing.