Lolo Eutiqz

Dear Lolo, 

I haven't cried yet. Oh okay. I cried a little last night. You should be proud of me. I also felt guilty. I should have fulfilled my promise of coming home to visit you and lola. I shouldn't have the second thoughts. I shouldn't have applied for a job too soon. 
Probably, I would have seen you still alive. Probably, had I been there to remind you to keep fighting and be strong to stay live because you still need to see your great grandkids from me, you're still alive right now. I can always hear you chuckle whenever I say that. 

I remember that whenever you get hospitalized, I really don't wanna visit you there, I don't wanna see you weak and fragile. But once you are back home, You see me there. 

I want you to know that I am proud of you that you are my lolo. For me, you are an epitome of a good man. A good husband, father, provider and grandfather you had been. 

You were a carpenter. I remember looking at you sharpening your tools ad telling me that it is very important for keep sharp tools. You were a farmer. You rise up so early in the morning. Prepping either for planting season or harvesting. I remember that day I tried helping you with sun-drying the grains of rice. You forgot to tell me to wear a coverall. After 3 baths, my body still felt itchy and I was red all over. The only way for me to take a rest from scratching was after popping that antihistamine that I always hated taking in. After that, never again did you let me help you. After a long day's work, I see you capping the day by eating "nganga" and with a bottle of gin or tanduay. 

You were my defender during the times when Lola and my two titas scold me a lot.    You were always there to comfort me and tell me to finish my studies. 

I have a lot of stories about you. Living with you and Lola, I saw how much respect you have for her. A true gentleman, you were. My favorite story from  you will always be your courtship story with lola. How a "bilao" of "sinapot" (fried flour-coated bananas) won her heart. From there, you got eight kids and from eight kids, 21 grandkids and 3 great grand kids. 

Lolo, the kind-hearted that you are, I'm thinking that your sudden passing was your way of not giving people you love a hard time taking care of you. You are the kind of guy who don't want to inconvenience others but would go an extra mile to help others. 

Not so many things had changed since the day I moved Manila. I'm still your cry-baby favorite apo. Haha. 

Lolo, you are an epitome of a good man. I'm so blessed to have be surrounded by good men in my life--- you, my father, my uncles and my sibs. 

I know you're in heaven looking after all of us now. I will surely miss your presence.  

I'm almost done and I'm starting to cry. I promise, I won't cry a lot this time. You're not beside me to comfort me. Labyu, Lolo Eutiqz. 

Your Apo,
Kathy


12 comments:

  1. I didn't cry when my lolo died. Hindi kami kasi naging close. Pero kung may chance, I'd love to see him again baka maging tropa na kami ngayon.

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    1. Its good to hangout with the oldies.. So full of stories and wisdom :)

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  2. Condolences Cher Kat, and I know he loves you so much (binulong niya sa akin). Your post reminds me of my grandparents and both of them were equally kind. I think the qualities of yesteryears are not much present in the children of today.

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    1. He loved us all so much :)

      Maswerte tayong nakagisnan Ang mga grandparents :) :)

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  3. Oh may katy! pareho tayung wala nang lolo. Maka grandparents din ako. Sa kasipagan ba naman nila panung hindi mo sila iaadmire. We have regrets though, ako, hindi nakita ni lolo ang first ever apo niyang umakyat sa stage, ayan naiyak na tuloy ako.

    recently umuwi ako sa probinsya namin, seeing their house ruined chilled a pain in my heart, yung house kung saan ang memories ko ay masaya ngayon puno na ng sadness, how things could be kung buhay pa sila.

    mas lalong nkakaiyak kapag nakita mo yung mga gamit niya dati na ngayon, nakatambak nalang.

    my song for you is avril lavigne's when you're gone.

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  4. Awww... so sorry to hear on what happened kay Lolo mo Cher Kat. Sending you warm hugs! Your Lolo is now in the loving arms of our almighty God, free from all physical and emotional pain.

    Kainggit ka nga eh. Sobra kang close kay Lolo mo. Yung lolo ko sa father side na lng yung nakita ko, tapos di pa kami ganun ka-close dati nung buhay pa siya. Yung lolo ko sa mother side, never ko pa nakita. I know matagal na rin syang wala.

    *hugs*

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    1. Its lolo's third to the last night as I write this. Unlike sa ibang kabaong na hindi ko matignan, his, I take time to look into, I still say good morning the way I always do. I would still play jokes about him and lola. I usually keep myself busy with prepping breakfast. As the days come nearing in, the truth I had been denying is starting to unfold. It's painful yet I know its a reality, we will all die and lolo's time has come.

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  5. Condolence to you dear. You will surely miss him, but so many nice memories with him are good to have. May his soul rest in peace.

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    1. Mamijoy! *yakap* we are both grieving since we both lost somebody close to our hearts.

      Maraming baong masasayang alaala. Sana lang nakapag antay pa sya ng konti. Sana lang.

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear Lolo passed away. I'm sure he's proud of you and he'll always watch over you.

    I was too young when both of my lolos passed away, so I never had that opportunity to experience what is it like to have one. You're so luck you have a wonderful lolo that watched you grow and become a successful person.

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    1. I used to think that spending summers with lolo and lola was a normal thing when I was a kid. Until I hear my contemporaries not even knowing their grandparents. So, I really blessed that I got to know them. Their wisdom is priceless and breakfasts with them will always be my fave time with them.

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