Circumstance vs Choice

I’ve been trying to compose this in my head. How would I say it. How would I answer it.
From a not-so recent conversation with friends over pizza, I was asked if my being single is a matter of choice, or a matter of circumstance.

My social network newsfeed is abundant with statuses about kids, weddings, lovers and comforting words about being single. I can’t help but like them all. I had to stop peeking through this site because, instead of making me feel better and happy for them, I end up getting succumbed with self-pity and questions about why am I single.

How come this girl I know, who isn’t so smart, who isn’t so cute, has a boyfriend, and I don’t? How come this boy who said liked me and whom I used to exchange SMS with is now committed to
another girl and they look happy together? How come guys would all of a sudden prop up of your life and suddenly be gone and then you’ll find out they are with somebody else? There's this guy I like who seem to like me as well but really, I am just dreaming. Nothing but a way to let time pass. Ugh. Suck it. If I continue further, I may just end up feeling bad about other people and myself.

First, my being single is a matter of circumstance. No one seems to like me that much to think, ask and court me to be the girlfriend.

It’s also matter of choice. I came from a very bad break up. It happened many years ago and I recently started to be in conversation terms with my ex-boyfriend however, the experience taught me a lot of lessons that made me want to take things slow, and hopefully with right and a good start this time with whoever he is. That’s very easy to say yet very difficult to keep because there will be days that I get into this wishful thinking that I am with someone right here, right now. 

Someone rolled into one to be my bestfriend, partner in crime, cheerleader, disciplinarian and co-dreamer. Someone who won’t be discourage to see me gain so much weight, snore at sleep, cry in the movies, curse when pissed off, no-comb hair, listen to my illusions and musings.

Now you see why it’s a matter of circumstance? Because no such person exist. Why it’s a matter of choice? Because I still believe that one day, I’ll find my imperfect perfect match.


Forgive me, it’s the time of the month aside from I am currently recovering from bacterial conjunctivitis. 

This too, shall pass. 

13 comments:

  1. No one is single entirely because of circumstance. The same goes as well for choice. Single people are single because of both, like you, like me, and countless others. :)

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    1. I guess so.. Remember this question you asked me? It had been lingering on my mind since that Sunday you asked me and I was just able to type it away a few minutes before I log off the day I had this posted. hehe.. Hirap i-figure out eh..

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    2. Kaya pala ang tahimik mo na nun. Sobrang deep na pala ng pag-iinternalize mo. Haha! Nagjo-joke lang kami ni Papi nung sinabi namin na single ka by circumstance. :P

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  2. Same here... they say that we have the power to choose to change our situation. But we never want to make that choice because of fear. We calculate that there will be more loss than gain. We predict the intensity of pain and how it will endure, and the happiness that will be short-lived, and we all weigh all chances with the question "Is it worth it?"... I am in that place.

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    1. Minsan I dont know if that is a trust issue on others or within oneself. We tend to weigh in things and look at its pros and cons which most of the time takes more time than the risk taken. Hayst...

      I had long surrendered my love to destiny and prayer. And live by my love verse;
      1 John 4:18King James Version (KJV)

      18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

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  3. okay, you can say that I am your male counterpart LOL... there were moments that I enjoy my life as a single yet there were times din na it put me into so much depression and life you, I often find those FB statuses quite depressing... even those cheesy movies.. that's why i don't watch romantic movies that much LOL.. but then may nagsabi sa akin to be patient... because God is probably writing the best love story for you and you just have to wait for that special moment ^_^

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    1. With every thing happening in a rush right now, we tend to think and assume that finding love could happen that way as well. Pero yung totoo, it really takes a while for some to find it. I could say that I have started to find the beauty in waiting and the "not yet" moments. Darating din yung satin. Kapit lang :D :D

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  4. I agree with Sep that being single is not just of circumstance nor by chance. It is a combination of both. I have a new post in August that talks about this kind of waiting. I hope you get to read it and learn something from it.

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    1. Can't wait to read it :) For sure I'll get something out of it.

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  5. Lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko at sa iba na tiwala lang.hehe. Me darating at darating ding lablayp. Kung hindi uukol, hindi naman bubukol diba?hehe >_<

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    1. I know :) buti nga ikaw maaga mong narealize yan :) Ako, lately lang.

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  6. Am I reading my story?
    Well, It is cool to be single so far as I have understood. No one asked you yet because the right person is still looking out for you. hahh I say this to me all the time.

    Take care, Gal.

    Follow each other :)

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    1. Indeed they are..followed you :) Thanks for dropping by!

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