Goodbye Uncle Manoy

Uncle Manoy. 

Uncle as he is a brother of my father. 
Manoy because he is the oldest among the siblings. 

We grew up calling him Uncle Manoy. Having him around would mean a haircut for the four boys--my 2 kuyas and my 2 other kuya cousins. Then, ice cream for everyone. Weekends would mean coins-- he would give me a whole bunch of coins he had accumulated from the weekdays of "pasada" with his tricycle. Dinners would mean inihaw bangus is the "ulam of the day" #uotd. 

We know the sound of the engine throttle of his tricycle. Even from a bit far, we would all say "Andyan na si Uncle Manoy!" Then peek through the gate and see his vehicle approaching. 

He was a bachelor. Never got married and in my entire life, I've never known him to be involved to any lady or woman. I asked my tita and all she said was, Uncle Manoy used to love a teacher when he was younger. 

All his life, the only possession he has was his tricycle which he had to sell a few years ago before he moved to Masbate. It was hard to convince him to move in the province. But we know we had to. His Alzheimer's had started to worsenm and there will be days he would lose a shirt, the other pair of his footwear, or even where to go. We can't leave him wandering the metro and be lost for days. In the province, it felt safer. Everybody knows everyone and the streets too are less of a danger to roam around. 

I knew him as a very generous and loving uncle. He never accumulated personal properties and estates because when he was alive, if he had spare funds, he would share it with whoever needs it. I remember him visiting my family more often back then when Papa met misfortune abroad and can't send us money. It was one of those hardest periods of our lives. We were very young and all going to school and Mama was alone to take care of us. Uncle Manoy would arrive in the afternoons bringing with him two, big pieces of bangus for dinner. 

He would always encourage us to study hard and aim for honors. Honors would be rewarded with either an ice cream or cash. Then later on, our discussion evolved to finding the right relationship. Him, giving us advice to open up ourselves, get into a relationship and be with that someone to grow old with. That we should not follow his example anymore. 

I could write more. But that means unstoppable shedding of tears. And I can't seem to organize my thoughts. It just keeps flowing. Besides, he doesn't like to see crying kids. 

Even on his final days, he tried not to be a burden. He tried to act normal and waited for my other uncle to arrive.

Uncle Jose arrived early last Friday and saw him sleeping on his bed. They plan to bring him to the nearest clinic once he woke up. Later that day, when we was awake, Uncle Jose tried talking to him about it but he just open his eyes, he can't open his mouth anymore. He held Uncle Manoy's hand. He said he felt Uncle Manoy squeeze his hand and then felt him hold his last breath. 

Today, as they send him to his final resting place, I can't stop myself from crying. Even if I try to act normally and continue with my activities as Uncle Manoy would want me to do, I can't stop myself from crying. 

This year, I lost another good man in my life. 

He was an incredible and selfless uncle. He would have been a wonderful father and husband. 
******
Back in the days, we never really get to say goodbye to you because you leave very early in the morning. Even today, I never get to personally bid you goodbye. You might be somebody who rarely show attachment and affection, but I know you love us. All of us. 

Goodbye Uncle Manoy. I've been missing you eversince. 

21 comments:

  1. :( naalala ko tuloy yung lolo ko... he had an Alzheimer too at talagang napakahirap makita na unti unti nagbabago yung behavior nya.. like your uncle, hindi talaga naging burden sa amin si lolo... nasunod naman sya sa amin kapag sinabihan sya..
    Condolence ... I'm sure he's on a better place now :)

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    1. I bet he is. Just like your Lolo.

      Thank you. *Hugs*

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  2. Our journey here is not for the nature.
    It's not the sunsets, not the trees nor the paradise were in.

    Not here for things too.
    Not for gold nor fancy clothes to fit.

    Were also not here simply because we are born human being, flesh and blood.

    Were here for the warmth feeling for each other.

    For the bond that was and waiting to be created.

    For the love was given and received by us or by our God.

    When we are near towards the end of our journey. We will look back to the footprints that we've created along the way. We'll see that it's not only two sets... but many prints waiting to be witnessed.

    As your uncle set sails with Jesus going to the otherside, Im sure he is waving happily goodbye to you and your family knowing that he walked along with not only amazing and wonderful people... He walked along with his most precious, most cherished and most loved family than anybody in this whole world.

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    1. This comment made me cry once more.

      Thank you Anonymous.

      It's just hard to say goodbye to the people we love.

      Delete
    2. Be sad. Its ok to cry. Let it all out. Let your tears be seen because its not wasted tears... That is your way of saying goodbye to people you dear so much... Because it is an act of pure love.

      Once your tears dried up... Deep inside your heart and your conscience, you will realized that happiness is within... That you already know he will be in a far more better place than any of us. In the kingdom of heaven with angels and all the saints... With Jesus and the apostles... Most of all, with our God.


      Sandali nga at makasunod na. Sino pa gustong sumama? Hehehe

      Just kidding. Smile muna. :)

      After all, Im sure your Uncle Manoy would want your gleaming, killer smile be seen up in the heavens again and boast around saying "O, pamangkin ko yan!" :)

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    3. Whoever you are Anonymous, I'm sure youre not the same Anon who said that "I don't have it, I better stop writing." Hahaha...

      He is always one proud uncle on behalf of all of his pamangkins. He had left his mark on each of us. And we are forever grateful. I had been surrounded with great men in my life that's why it's kinda unfair to just settle for some guy. Hopefully, Uncle Manoy and Lolo will eventually tell God to for my guy to man up and meet me so I can stop being lonely. Hehe.

      Basta, when we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be!

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    4. Whoever that "Anonymous" is, surely, he/she could be trippin right now... In a stairs... From 76th floor... Head first then his/her *bleeppp!!!* (--,)

      Ok, wait.

      For whatever the reason is for you to open up about a "guy"... I can tell that you are not alone. His always been with all along. His love for you is more than enough to get back from the moon. Though he could be miles away for now, but most definitely, it will be a worth the wait.

      Malay mo, hinihilot na siya ng Uncle at Lolo mo telling him "maghanda ka, marami ang mangbubugbog sa iyo". Talking about manning up. Lol :)

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    5. Oooopps.. Sorry, it just came out of my brain.. LOL. Uncle kasi is single and isa sa mga reminders nya ay not to grow old alone.

      Hmm.. Peace-loving family po kami :) :) walang mambububugbog, unless otherwise necessary. LOL.

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    6. Sorry for the delayed response. Been caught in the grind for a few days and got busy making other people get rich. Argh! :-/

      Brain fart!

      No need for sorry's. Ain't offended by anything. Besides, this is your turf and I'm the stranger here. :)

      After re-reading your post, may I ask to give an honest opinion about your uncle's advise to you and/or your siblings/cousins?

      Though it's your call... your house, your rules. Basta wag mo lang akong paaabangan after my writings. :)

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    7. I therefore conclude you're a Mr.Anonymous.

      Go ahead and give your honest opinion. Anyway, comments are moderated so I could decide to post it or not. But usually, it's gets posted publicly either way.

      Thank you for the constant visit to my niche the past few days :)

      Delete
    8. Very good analyzation. I can give you that. Mr. Anonymous, it is. ;)

      Before I go any further, a disclaimer. This opinion is base on my impression through your post only. Please bear with me. :D

      Ok, here it goes.

      Please don't be caught up to the idea that because you have "great men" (cousins, uncles, lolos and father) doesn't have the need to create and be in a expectation that only yourself is trying to live up to it. It is only creating layers and layers of reasons and fear that will cause great hiding in it. Those "great men" only want you to be happy, they don't expect the person that you will spend time with is going to be a perfection that will suit to their taste.

      Ika nga ng marami "hindi sila ang makakasama ko, kundi ikaw".

      The advice of your uncle of "not to be alone" is an advice of optism, courage and warning. Your uncle made a mistake of not chasing someone he can love for the rest of his life, please, do apologize me for this but I'am sure that you're grown enough to know that your uncle did not have enough bravery in his heart to face of what should have been a legendary love story, just like the once we heard from our parents.

      The man from your future will not be able to make if your shell is as hard as those "trapos" faces are.

      So, the message from your uncle should be clear and be lived with.

      "Wag nyo akong gagayahin".


      Thank you.

      Baw.

      XD

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  3. What would you like people to remember you when you die? Will there be someone who will eventually miss you when you are not around anymore? Will it be regrets or celebrations that the people you will leave behind be doing?

    Your answers are obvious from your post and I would like to be like your Uncle. That I will be remembered for my good deeds. That I will be missed by someone. And that I will leave my friends and family happy knowing that I had been, in one way or another, a blessing and not a burden.

    Sending my condolences Cher Kat.

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    1. Sa family namin, my father is the most vocal that he isn't afraid of death. Anytime. When Lolo died, had been noticing some wake and funeral practices that I would jokingly tell Mama not to do on my own wake. Nagagalit talaga sya. I had been wanting to write about how I wanna be remembered. Di ko lang naluligaran dahil sa katamaran.

      I want to remember people close to my heart with wonderful, good and happy memories. Even those who had caused me pain. Either way, it's the things I've learned with them that makes reminiscing worthwhile.

      Happy to know youre back on the block! Miss you Cher Jo! I'll email you soon!

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  4. Your post reminded me of my dead Lolo. I remember my Mom cried when she heard the news. Prayers to your Uncle. Condolence to you too.

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    1. Thanks Ishmael. It was a bittersweet moment for all of us. Yet, he is in a better place now.

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  5. Condolences and prayers. iba talaga ang mga tito sa buhay natin. ibang magmahal at maglambing sa mga pamangkin ang mga tito.

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    1. syang tunay mr.ignored_genius... Im happy I had great titos and titas around.

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  6. awww. :( this is touching.
    hugs teacher yccos. condolence to you and your family.
    prayers for uncle manoy. :(

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  7. This is really shocking and touching story.

    His love for that teacher means to be really a lot!
    I also have that kind of tita who gives everything to his family even today that she already got a partner.
    Another shocking story is that, i am also from Masbate, and we have the same province.


    I really feel bad about this yccos, i am even actually excited to tell you that i've added you on my link ex and gave you an award but after reading this, i'm like "OK man, this is so wrong timing". My sympathies are with you and with your family. God bless you and may God keep you yccos!

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    1. Thanks Steve. Well, it's his time to leave and so he did.

      Wow. We're kababayans pala! Pasyal tayo ng Ticao Island and Monreal :)

      Delete

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