The Waiting Game

What preposition should I use? In or of? 
The Agony in/of Waiting.

"If you can wait and we will proceed with the application, your placement is for April 2017. I hope you can bear with us." She said. 

The last time we spoke, she said that should the other regions need ALTs by October, she might be able to send more of us this year. But still no guarantee. She guaranteed April 2017 provided that we can pass all the necessary screening tests.

I never thought that aiming to work abroad is this hard--from finding that right agency to help you with, to proving that you're worth it, to finding that initial fund--all of which requires waiting. So much waiting. That kind of waiting with uncertainty. You can only hope and trust others with your life. Trust yourself that you can get it done. Trust them that they are doing whatever they can. Trust that the universe is conspiring with you and of course, trust God that He is making all these waiting worthwhile. 

I keep reminding myself to take every day one at a time. Finish the workbooks and curriculum standards. Study well. Work hard. Save money. Read. Rest. 

Keep yourself busy, advised by my one of my friends. I am. However, at time like this, when traffic flow is so slow on a Thursday morning, sitting at the cab's backseat comfortably, I can't help but feel that agony that has been eating me up since I had set my goal to the Land of the Rising Sun. 

As the employer would always say: 'I don't want to send you there half-baked. Study Nihonggo. Read about the culture. Learn as much as you can. Have a goal." I know there are still underlying factors as to why she can’t send us all immediately.

I remind myself to take each day one at a time. Never break a routine. Finish the workbooks and curriculum standards. Reflect a lot. Work hard. Study harder. Save money. Read. Write. Pray.

Still keeping an eye for possibilities outside this thing but still mainly hoping for whatever it's worth. 

I really just hope that someday, I will reap what I sow. Some day. 

Some day, I could say I had mastered the art of waiting. LOL. 

For the meantime, it’s a Thursday, let’s get it on!


___________________
Forgive me, traffic sa C5 as usual kaya kung anu-ano na lang.

7:34 AM
28 April 2016 








5 comments:

  1. It is really great to see you are working on your goals. You are not just waiting but you are making yourself worthy to be accepted, or hired, or loved. I am excited as to what will happen next but for now, just like what you mentioned- reflect, work, study, save, read, write, and pray.

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    1. Whenever I feel lost and do not know if what my decisions are right or at the right path, I ask myself, "What should I be doing right now, instead of sulking and torturing myself? I should be doing what I am suppose to do." So, I TRY to do what I expect out of myself. To work hard, with excellence. To reflect and keep growing.... And continually learn.. coz if we stop learning, we die......

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  2. Both would be correct, but "of" would be more appropriate. ("In" signifies a place will follow, and we all know Waiting also is a place of some sort. As is Denial. Hurting. And so on.)

    That aside, mad props to going after the dream. Persist with all the wait. And this early, congratulations. It's in the bag.

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    1. I am trying to recall a piece of idiomatic expression about waiting and agony but I'm too tired to google and cant find my Idioms book somewhere here at home, so I just had to keep at that and hope that maybe one from my very limited audience would answer and YOU did! So, thank you!

      As they would always say: Good things come to those who wait. I am keeping my fingers crossed. Asking for the universe to conspire and again, thank you for all the positive vibes :D :D I would definitely always go back to these moments.

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    2. Tomoh!!!

      You're Welcome. Rotonda. (Ay shet Mabuhay na nga pala yun ngayon....)

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