Just another PMS episode

Dear Me,

How have you been?

Busy? Overwhelmed? Sad? or just in your period?

Let's just say all of the above.

You are breaking down and you are still denying yourself that idea to break loose and just cry and be vulnerable and feel weak.

You are still holding on to the ropes of tasks that you have to accomplish and you are producing half-baked, rushed and below expectations output.

You need to give yourself a break. Stop scrolling and scrolling. You know its hard, but when you feel that it's too much scrolling already, then just stop scrolling. You aren't paid to scroll on those screens after all.

You know how much deep inside you have been wishing for a prince charming to sweep you off your feet. It just never gonna happen. That type of person exists only in romance stories you binge-read on.

But you also know how much you are willing to turn your back on the standards you have set once you have fallen. You have picked you up quite a few times from the mess. So far, you always get to redeem yourself. Not entirely a new person, but someone who had learned so much from it. But doesn't necessarily mean you don't get to repeat the mistake. You seem to have a favorite mistake at the moment. So far, no visible damage and emotions all under control.

You are fine. Don't let another person tell you that. You know yourself more than anybody else. But it's okay to let them know that you aren't fine at all.  Let's see who stays despite the weakness and peculiarity. You don't need people who would just be there when things are fine, you need people who would stay with you when the going gets tough and the other way around. You need people who are willing to take into consideration your weirdness and stupidity as part of your being.

With that, you are expected to do the same for others.

Expect nothing in return for kindness. Protect yourself. Guard your heart.

As you will always tell people who would reach out to you for a conversation: In any decision-making, choose what is good and what will make you be of service to others.

This too, shall pass. For the meantime, hug Pooh and Blue and let this little space save this moment so that on a day that you feel a bit better, you get to read it and realize how strong you had been.

It's just another PMS episode only yourself can understand.

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