May this not be a love letter to the dead.

Dear You,

It had been awhile since I sat down and wrote you a letter. Life has been pre-occupied or I tried my best to keep it occupied, so I don't get to feel lonely because you aren't here yet.

I wish you were here yesterday. I needed someone to comfort me. Kardo, our little puppy back home, died due to a viral infection. It was such a difficult time. I had been with him only for a few days during the holidays but he had been the sweetest. If you've seen him, for sure you would have known how lovable he was. It was such a painful moment to see him go. My eyes are still puffy due to crying and I still get to have those sudden outbursts of tears when I remember it. My younger sisters were the ones who suffered the most. They were the ones who took him to the vet and picked him up when he died.

People say this day is special. Media hyped it all up. But all this time, I had been waiting for you to come and remind me about that kind of love. I had met few, I thought it was you, but then, each one leaves, do ghosting and then just pops up whenever they feel like it. I've learned not to expect anything.

I've learned to take care of myself. So, if ever it is already you, please be patient with me as I try to figure out how this kind of partnership works. I've became dense when it comes to signs of flirtations, intents and others.

The wall isn't high. I am allowing people to take a peek into my life and what I love to do and even my weaknesses. I have also known how to cover up my loneliness with being busy and occupied with something. But not a single minute passed that I wish I have you.

I always pray that whenever I speak, that I may always be a source of encouragement and purpose. That I may always be kind and humble. But of course, I am always not well. I easily get drained too. I wish you will be there to comfort me and remind me that everything will be alright. And I promise to do the same for you whenever you need it.

We grow together on our own passions and dreams.

This letter is getting longer and longer.

All I wanted you to know is that I am praying for you, in this lifetime.

The princess is getting tired waiting for the prince to arrive. But she is hopeful. She promise to be hopeful until death. She had surrendered to the ideals of romanticism. It keeps her afloat. It keeps her going. It keeps her standard held up high.

A few weeks, months, years, I will go back to this letter. And all I can do is remain hopeful that the next time will be with you beside me.


May this not be a love letter to the dead.


Waiting and waiting,
Meow

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