On Cutting Ties and Moving Forward
You are my story of strong physical attraction and love at first sight. But we all know that prince charming doesn't exist and fairytales are only for the books. But I am not giving up on my dream that one day, my prince charming will sweep me off my feet. All the best to your own love story.
I collected my courage to write and took a deep breath before tapping it into that arrow icon to send it. But I did send it eventually.
Then, I cried after that. Curled into my bed, wrapped myself with a blanket and hugged Pooh so tight and then cried harder.
I met him through an online dating app, he had been a content of a few diary entries, how he made me feel giggly and bubbly and how just thinking about him made me gush and transformed my heart into that teeny boppy age of kilig and hopeless romantic-ness.
In the end, as the sequence proceeds: Swipe > Chat > Meet > Ghost and that's should have been an indication that it is over. Ghost > Chat > Meet > Ghost > Chat > Meet > Ghost and then it becomes a cycle.
The young and stupid me, used to feel flattered that after a long period of absence, he then suddenly comes back to life to remember me.
He did remember me, he said. He said he feels pressured because his girlfriend is asking that they move in together. I don't know what to say. He said that he feels at peace with me and that he is comfortable to share his true feelings with me.
A mixture of hormonal imbalance, menstrual cramps, stress with the groupwork and failed expectations, I felt hurt. After 8 weeks of absence, he just felt like to talking to me. While during that time that I told him that I am scared and worried about losing a job and transitioning to the unfamiliar, he nipped out on me. And now, that I am slowly getting back to the calm and simple life, he is back to leech on the soundness and calmness. He can't. He doesn't deserve to be.
I deserve a guy who would pursue me and take care of me. Though I don't exactly know what or who I deserve, at least I know what I don't need or want in my life, or nobody deserves at all.
I know he knows what he is doing and that he just needed someone to talk to. But I am not that nice girl anymore. After all that he had mentioned to me before, I don't deserve to be just a girl he would turn to only when he is feeling lost. After all, he turned his back on me on the days that I needed someone to be encouraging me when I felt scared and lost. But I was able to pull through and for sure, he will be able to do so with his own issues in life.
We don't see our relationship at the same level, if he does respect my feelings or at least care about me at all, he would have just cut the ties himself. Or he is just so selfish and numb and maybe he thought that I am so stupid that I will just embrace his needs, listen to his dramas and ignore my own pain inflicted by him.
Being ignored is already a painful. Hearing more as to why he kept ignoring me is more insulting.
I am writing with deep pain and anger but no regret about meeting him and falling in love with his pretty face. Lesson learned through experience.
Deep in my soul, I am still wishing that this can get a far more beautiful turn around of story, but of course, as I always tell myself, "Just keep pushing forward."
I collected my courage to write and took a deep breath before tapping it into that arrow icon to send it. But I did send it eventually.
Then, I cried after that. Curled into my bed, wrapped myself with a blanket and hugged Pooh so tight and then cried harder.
I met him through an online dating app, he had been a content of a few diary entries, how he made me feel giggly and bubbly and how just thinking about him made me gush and transformed my heart into that teeny boppy age of kilig and hopeless romantic-ness.
In the end, as the sequence proceeds: Swipe > Chat > Meet > Ghost and that's should have been an indication that it is over. Ghost > Chat > Meet > Ghost > Chat > Meet > Ghost and then it becomes a cycle.
The young and stupid me, used to feel flattered that after a long period of absence, he then suddenly comes back to life to remember me.
He did remember me, he said. He said he feels pressured because his girlfriend is asking that they move in together. I don't know what to say. He said that he feels at peace with me and that he is comfortable to share his true feelings with me.
A mixture of hormonal imbalance, menstrual cramps, stress with the groupwork and failed expectations, I felt hurt. After 8 weeks of absence, he just felt like to talking to me. While during that time that I told him that I am scared and worried about losing a job and transitioning to the unfamiliar, he nipped out on me. And now, that I am slowly getting back to the calm and simple life, he is back to leech on the soundness and calmness. He can't. He doesn't deserve to be.
I deserve a guy who would pursue me and take care of me. Though I don't exactly know what or who I deserve, at least I know what I don't need or want in my life, or nobody deserves at all.
I know he knows what he is doing and that he just needed someone to talk to. But I am not that nice girl anymore. After all that he had mentioned to me before, I don't deserve to be just a girl he would turn to only when he is feeling lost. After all, he turned his back on me on the days that I needed someone to be encouraging me when I felt scared and lost. But I was able to pull through and for sure, he will be able to do so with his own issues in life.
We don't see our relationship at the same level, if he does respect my feelings or at least care about me at all, he would have just cut the ties himself. Or he is just so selfish and numb and maybe he thought that I am so stupid that I will just embrace his needs, listen to his dramas and ignore my own pain inflicted by him.
Being ignored is already a painful. Hearing more as to why he kept ignoring me is more insulting.
I am writing with deep pain and anger but no regret about meeting him and falling in love with his pretty face. Lesson learned through experience.
Deep in my soul, I am still wishing that this can get a far more beautiful turn around of story, but of course, as I always tell myself, "Just keep pushing forward."
What i don't realize is if truth be told how you're now not really much more smartly-preferred than you might be now.
ReplyDeleteYou're very intelligent. You already know therefore significantly in the case of this
matter, produced me in my opinion imagine it from numerous varied angles.
Its like men and women aren't involved unless it is one thing to accomplish
with Lady gaga! Your personal stuffs outstanding. At all
times handle it up!