I thought saying NO to you was going to be a hard thing to do. I thought I couldn't do it but I finally did and it gave me that liberating feeling.
Our connection had been based on assumptions and unspoken words, I thought it was enough. That having you beside me even we dont have any spoken commitment will be an assurance that you will stay with me until I saw you with another girl. You smile at her like the way you had smiled at me. You hold her hands like you held mine. You stare at her face lovingly.
You started talking about her and my world began to crumble. I thought we had something going on. It was just me who thought so. I thought actions speak louder than words. Not in this case, I had mistinterpreted your actions to be that of having a deeper meaning, a deeper connection, an unspoken commitment. Reality hit me. Hard. Enough to break my heart and soul.
I stopped talking to you and you never tried reaching out until you felt lonely again. You only remember me when you're alone. You are unfair. I used to think of you all the time, wishing you were beside me. I used to think of you when I was happy, wishing you were beside me. I used to think of you when I am alone. I wonder what were you doing, who you were with and if you were thinking of me as well. But you, you only think of me wen you're lonely.
In a differet situation, I would have been relunctant to say No to your invitation. I would have felt special with you remembering me. But you treated me unfairly. I may have done so many things I can never be proud of but I have paid my dues and I dont deserve to be somebody you can just call when you are lonely.
I admit it gets a bit sad being alone but I'd rather be alone than be used by some jerk like you. I had gotten used to the feeling of solitude.
I've come to learn that being assumptive can only be applied in business negotiations particularly in my previous line of work. I work to assume while claiming can only be done with aspirations and dreams.
When it comes to relationship and commitment, assumption and actions don't go together.
No matter how well he or she means, no matter how true it could be unless it was declared in words, never assume.
As it was stated in the Bible:
Ask and you shall receive.
I asked, but it was already too late. I am already hurt and full of hatred just because I assumed first.
I am saving the story of my stupidity for another day. But I guess this is my stupid story. No more chances of saving it for another day. Oh well, I am alive. I will survive.