Showing posts from March, 2021

Happy Wednesday, self.

 I am waiting for the printing completion of my resume for a perspective client as a private student. I just realized that working on stuff like this one is something that excites me. Having a space for thinking, for curating, for designing learning plans for people is a thing I enjoy so much. As much as I love writing, helping people find their way of learning is a meaningful thing to do.  I actually have been doing it for years. I don't know why I stopped. I lost myself in the process. Deciding to drop the social media access for awhile really helped me a lot. Getting up in the morning without pressing the snooze button did the trick. I get to have productive mornings and well-thought off tasks for the days.  Just wanting to take note of my personal progress in here and when I read back on it, I could remind myself of the possibilities.  Now, getting back on the game.  Happy Wednesday, self. 

Day 1 of 60.

Random Thoughts.  Out of the blue last night, I just thought of abstaining from social media. I was writing a caption for the day's feel-good photo taken from Saitobaru, as my two friends and I had gone for Hanami. It wasn't part of my day's plan but it all had gone well, despite that minor accident at the parking lot of an Indian restaurant where we had dinner.  So today, Day 1 of 60 days abstention from posting in FB and IG is almost coming to an end. I had to re-activate my Facebook because it was tied up to my Mercari account and I wanted to buy this book. I still have moments of checking my IG for likes and comments but haven't opened my inbox in there at all just yet. I guess, tiny steps, right? I have both uninstalled from my phone. It would take several steps to get logged back in. Making it a bit difficult and annoying, kinda helps to stay away from it.  I also had been able to just start a random conversation with my siblings. I haven't told them about the

I hit another car.

 We ended up a nice dinner and I was really having a good time with the new friends I have made courtesy of V. We were planning of going to a coffee shop we all love going to but I haven't been there in a while as well.  I knew I am gonna have a hard time exiting the parking space. I was taking my time. I forgot to release the handbrake coz the car didn't move as I step onto the accelerator. So, I moved my hand to release the handbrake, forgetting that I was stepping on the accelerator instead of the footbrake, the car just moved quickly, my right side mirror hitting the next car's right side mirror and my right front wheel, scratching the driver's door side. It was really bad. I couldn't believe what just happened and what I just did right there.  I was so lost and I know I had to talk to the owner of the car. One of the new friends I made today, Y, was Japanese and offered to interpret for me and the other person, he called the police too. V never left my side and

Chronic Snooze Button Tapper Syndrome

 I have been having this sickness for months now and it is killing me and my dreams. I know it is and I acknowledge it but I honestly am not really making real moves to cure it. I haven't been doing any deep work nor work itself at all. I feel like a zombie coming and going my daily chores, like a robot programmed to move and accomplish tasks but not necessarily be expected to feel any feeling of accomplishment with that.  I am just trying to get by.  I know what to do but I am not doing it. I know how I want to organize my thoughts but I lack the energy to do so. I keep wanting to just sleep. I want sunlight but I would rather spend time inside my little home. I need to be out there, I need to be in the zone.  I have to pick up myself again and again. Then take small steps forward. I, myself are doubting the smalls steps I take everyday, I know in my heart that it is way better than just binge-watching at home. Reading the news, instead of scrolling the social media, taking time t


Happy Tuesday it had been. Still a lot to do but a few things done today. Now, time to pack my stuff and go back to Miyazaki City tomorrow morning. Braving the long roads and speedy wheels again, this time, first time going home. Blue had been so reliable and light to handle and I couldn't be more grateful for having it with me.  I have been eating non-stop and yet thinking of giving up my gym membership and go into a cheaper venture of keeping myself fit and healthy. Because honestly, the amount I pay for the gym has been too pricey and just not worth it anymore as I get to travel more and more now.  Something to think about for the next few days and I have to let them know also before the 10th of the month just so I can get my schedule and budget all aligned again. 

Weekend Fun.

I haven't been getting the fun that I wished for. But the recent volunteer program I joined had been loaded with unexpected fun, realizations and new circle of connections for friendships and goals.  The only challenge was that I had my first day of period and I came a little bit slightly anticipating it so, I had the pads with me. Also I thought that the mood swings will flare up but I was just able manage it all, put things into witty lines and just go with the flow.  I haven't gotten the fun I wish, but I got that request to be away for a bit, off with the usual and do something around happy little kids, awesome adults and big goals.  I am grateful. 

Scratches, Bumps and Shocks

 For the next .... I dont know period, the stories will be my development on learning how to drive and most likely the damages I have caused on Blue as I progress.  Today, I had under steered my right turn and hit the dividing wooden walls of the exit passage of the parking lot. I have been liking to go to this a bit secluded gym and I can go straight to the onsen as well. I had severely damaged the lower left bumper and totally scratched it. It really looks so bad at first but eventually, it was okay. But it wasn't really okay. It will be there as a constant reminder of my first mistakes as I become better. Much as I want to claim for collision costs, as advised by my friends who are long-term car owners, that I wait for until a time that I get a better car-detailing package deal to update Blue. For now, until I can afford it, I just need to keep learning behind the wheel.  Good thing that I was able to get a footage of Blue this morning with its front still intact and shiny.  I h

List 3 things that you have faith in.

365 QOTD   List 3 things that you have faith in...  That I have the wisdom and willpower to pick up where I left off with my #RoadtoMasters goal. That there is such a friend and life partner and lover all in one person reserved for me in this lifetime.  In due time. Everything in its own, perfect time. 

First-time owner pains

It is my first time to own a car and I have been making scratches here and there. It felt like I scratch also got scraped into my own skin and it pains me to realize that it is still there.  It could be my fault or somebody else's fault. But I think I would know if its my fault, right?  Yesterday, the door mirror on the left side got broken. It got hit an pole while I am reversing for parking. I cry. I bought a replacement in amazon and hopefully that would take care of it. I am afraid to take it longer trips with higher speed at it might disintegrate and cause more damage not just to me but to others as well.  I cna only wish I get better with driving and all the matters involved with owning a car, but I know it will take time. I am totally grateful for the comforts I am experiencing right now and I hope not to be afraid to move out of this comfort zone when the time comes asking for such in order to grow.  Learning has its price. With this experience, I am paying the price of see

Are you happy?

 365 QOTD  Are you happy?  I thought of answering a QOTD because I felt that I haven't done it in awhile, and I never thought I would get this question today. As soon as I read it, my eyes became a bit of clouded ready for tears, but I was able to stop and just focus on writing this.  The first thing that came to me was.... I am not sure if I am happy, but I know that I am grateful. Grateful for every bit of what I have.  It is a rainy day and I am grateful for having a car now that is able to take me to places and let me do my tasks. I am still struggling with parking but I am getting by and hopefully never will I scratch another person's car. For that, I am happy.  I am grateful for having the willpower to get back to writing. A few minutes ago, I wrote a few sentences that turned into shirt paragraphs for my Chapter 1. For that, I am happy. Tiny steps.  I am grateful that my family is still okay but I am a little worried as there would be an anticipated demolition and my par

Tiny Step on a Thursday

Around 2pm today, I drove to the library, thinking that I should get started back with my research proposal writing. I did. But it wasn't that long. It was probably around 40 minutes filled with distractions in between. But still I was able to sort of "re-organize" and set an outline for the Chapter 2 of the paper. Progress, I would like to consider it as such. Then, one of these days, I would need to buckle up and whip up myself into motion. Kindness cannot always be gentle in the scene itself. But it would always be aimed to have good if not better results for the goals established.  After that, I went to work. My second class of 3 classes was a bit of frustrating but managed it in the end. Hayst. I can't think of ways to make it better. It has been half a year and I am still struggling with that bunch.  I went home and had korean spicy ramen for dinner. I was lazy to go to the grocery. Been on the phone for several conversations, mainly asking for tech support. App

May The Force Be With You

I didn't realize that the final minutes of the 16th Chapter would be that sentimental and warm.  Mando: I'll see you again. I promise.  He took of his helmet and let Little Grogu see his face and touch it like how you'd touch someone with so much affection.  I was just crying the entire time. For one, maybe because I have so much pent up emotions as well that needs letting out  I wanna have a vynil Grogu that I can put in my car. His presence reminds of being a child at 34. He is 50 and still considered a child that needs training to master skills and talent. Next to my Reading Hello Kitty vinyl, it will be nice to be reminded that the force will always be with me.  In this trying times as I slowly re-align my feelings as new changes are to come, I can't help but still be grateful.  Image Source: Google Images 

Boyfriend Material.

I introduced Blue to family as my Boyfriend. Haha. 

Blue is here!

It is here now! I couldn't be more excited to gain more driving hours and confidence to go longer miles!  Being left behind by the bus was probably brought up a lot of exhaustion yesterday and so today's proper change of documents, transition of name and the delivery of the car itself at the parking lot and me picking up the key from my front door after work was just a feeling to keep. I am so happy and grateful that finally it is here. It is mine.  Which means I have to work hard, drive safe and be more mindful.  Thank You Lord. Use me and Blue to be living witnesses and testimony of Your Eternal Faithfulness to those who believe and live in Your Promises. 

Hump Wednesday.

This was me on a Tuesday. Just so happy to be outside and be lit with sunshine at a park close to my workplace. I was just so happy and calm and relaxed. Then today is Wednesday. It isn't called Hump Wednesday for nothing. Today started quite calm and slow. I opted to take the 2nd bus of the day only to experience for the bus not stopping at my bus stop. It was the first time it happened and I am pissed and mad and unforgiving both on myself and that driver. How on earth won't it not stop on that bus stop where eversince I started working in Kanoya has always been where I would get off and get on for a commute. It was unbelievable. I know I should have it past my senses now but I just feel so tired, drained and unsatisfied about how my day had gone. Also, I was with Nika who was on day off today and I felt like I robbed her off a part of her day because we missed that trip.  It is 21:22 as I am writing this, in 21 minutes the speed train will take me back to Miyazaki and I cant

Piano is here!

  This secondhand Korg SP 170S is a superduper greatfind I had from Mercari Japan.  I honestly have no idea how long til I let go of it and I hope I would never want to. It had been making me realize a few things about how to deal with learning, and a variety of instruments to accompany my fondness for singing specially when I'm so tired and just wanna roll on the floor.  But here it is! 😜