Life of a Kat

 Half of 2022 is wrapping up!  How time flies. I am on my 2 and a half year of hiatus from Graduate school and I am not sure if I would still be able to pick myself up and resume. I still pray for it. That I get to finish this course, get that title and be over and done with it or get it somewhere else. I still need to figure out my ways and eventual family life plans. I still see myself getting married and wanting to have kids of my own, you know.  Bouts of anxiety here and there but I am glad to report that I am still fairly alive and functioning, fulfilling my commitments and every day, I try to figure out how to best live this life that I have.  I wish I could hug a human being on a regular basis. It is such a rare commodity right now. And being choosy that I am, I know that it isn't an easy thing to do.  Hmm.. I am still having a hard time trying to figure out how to shorten my presentation for July, but I will get there. I am happy to say that I am on my writing mode, still s

 I started my slides for the upcoming presentation about the Philippines. It is set to be on 31st of July, but I need to be able to talk to the person in charge on Saturday about the flow of the presentation, thats why I need to come up with the content and preferrable narrative by Saturday. I realize that at some level, I am an obliger type of person. I need deadlines, I need people relying on me and I need to be notably accountable so I can work on something.  Happy to be able to get started with the writing, and slowly fill it in by tomorrow I hope before I do my ropes and maybe some roller blades as well if I feel like going under the heat of the sun. LOL.  I haven't scouted surfboard to buy at all but if I want to be go surfing I know that I would need to get one soon.  Midweek hump is on.  I had one of those days that I had to spend a long at work, I mean at the work that pays the bill and I am not used to it. I'm grateful for this job, the time and the arrangements that

 And that is Sunday for you.  I can't believe it is over now.  Was able to go for basic skate practice in the morning. Less than an hour but it was fun.  The usual morning zoom session went by, and glad that after 2 more sessions, we will be taking a break which means I would have some free time in Sunday mornings for more fun stuff to work on.  Afternoon zoom session was quite heavy and we actually got extended and the next homework is a bit heavy and need to be dealt with, chunk by chunk for the entire week.  I have a slideshow show to curate for my upcoming presentation and I am confident that I will get it done coz I have no choice on it anyway.  Glad to meet two new amazing people today through my coworker whom I think I have spent more time with than I had spent time with N when she was still here.  No discord sessions with sisters tonight coz I was out til late, but we will definitely catch up another Discord sessions.  Grateful for today, that's all I wanna say. Thank Y

 I just wanna let you know that I cried after a 4-hour battle with the bank for a bank statement that I need for an application. I am so sorry for being such an impatient client and I just dont understand how things had been going on. I just dont.  But here's to hoping that its worth all the tears and time spent and hope not to be on that kind of situation again. 

 Quite a long day and tomorrow will be like that again.  My sisters had been working on a lot of stuff back home and I wish I could join in as well.  I just got my GCash account and it still needs verification so that means I would need to upload info and other data into it. But I'll take care of that on another day. One at a time.  I need to get my presentation draft moved to a powerpoint draft and I'll work on that this weekend.  So many things to accomplish. So little time.  Over all, I am grateful.  I am still at the phase that I am sad coz things just fell apart like that and I don't know why but it is, what it is. I still cry at the thought of it, but this is just one of the few guys I had allowed myself to be vulnerable with and it has to end. I dont think I have a choice on making sure that I am better at this dating game the next time around. 

 I'm feeling a little bit better today. Still with cramps, crunching pain in the neck, the corner of my knee joints and my heart is in constant pain.  Time will really just come that you'll learn to accept them as they are. You realize that there is no point into seeking for more details to convince as it just add up to more sadness and pain and eventual hopelessness and that isn't what I want.  Also, I may have lead on myself into the situation and it beought me where I am right now. Still, it was quite an experience I hope not to put myself into again.  If anyone could read this and compare how my compositions are in my active social media accounts, they prolly would think I'm crazy, or such a drama queen. But I've come to accept that my feelings, whatever they are, they are valid. As long as I am able to deliver and express in good faith, I think it will lead to something such as freedom from all the fears I have created, freedom in truth and freedom to face the

It is Summer Solstice of 2022, the longest day of the year. For me, it is one of those days that I am so eager to end and when I wake up the next day, I wish I feel better.  I woke up with very bad pains in the neck part and shoulders are so stiff that if I move, it creates that twisting and crushing pain and I am scared that I might break my own neck if I force it to move further. Shoulders feel so heavy, I feel like I am having a fever and all I wanna do is sleep my way into life and wake up back to normal.  Except for some piano playing and nicely plating my meals, I had not done anything that is in my routine.  With that, I was wishing for someone I can just say that I am having a bad day and I am in pain. So, I just write it here. Then, when I read back in the future and read this again, I pray I am not alone anymore. or if I am still alone, I hope that I am in a healthy state of being.  I wanted to describe exactly the kind of discomforts I am having inside of me but I don't

 It rained almost all day but glad that I had been able to accomplish a lot of things, apart from getting a haircut with the bangs and having my haircolor go a bit darker this summer season.  I was able to practice hula hoop and piano and it was nice.  I did ropeflow in puddle today. It was fun.  I started answering my Green Worknook. It was quite a task. And I am not yet done. I have to start writing lotsa lesson plans in the coming days and that should keep me away from online streaming for a reasonable amount of time on a daily basis. I need to go back to a writing/reading morning routine.  But all good and I am going to bed now. Or maybe I will post my puddle ropeflow for today just for the record that I tried or maybe also do a quick piano rundown drill of what I am learning for the week. I'll do both.  Good night. 

 I made through today. I'm still here and typing this. Something so wrong with me for not liking the older classes I have today. Hayst.  Other than that, I am so sleepy right now and I'm ready to go to sleep after this.  I have been wanting to go karaoke but I just cant seem to find the time to do so. I know I can do it alone too. Maybe one of these days. For now, I just do my singing in the car at a stoplighg and when the song is a song I like.  Hanging out of discord's voice channel with my sisters had just been so convenient too. Lol. I just leave and then a voice posp in and as if we are home together as I go about my chores and we chat. It is nice.  Also, I am learning Bless The Broken Road on piano. I hope I get to do it right. Also, I have Carole King's So Far Away on Queue! I have a lot to practice on 😅😂 At least, I have a few things I can work on eventually.  I dont know if my blabber makes anymore sense coz I am already so sleepy. Goodnight. 

 I got back to archery today! It was fun. Though I know that the staff found it weird that I do it alone, I can't do anything about it.  But I'm happy to be able to do it again. My skills hasn't improved in any way at all. Haha.  Other than that, things were okay in the job. I survived today.  After this entry, I'm gonna go back to reading Norse Mythology. Can you imagine? I started that a month sgo and I'm still on it. Bu now, I should have been done with it. But I'll get there.  Good night Friday. Tomorrow is gonna be a crazy day, So Help Me God. 

 Today has been one of those long days. But good. Something to be grateful for.  Morning rolled with the ropes, meal preps and some documents needed for an upcoming vacation that has always been a dream and hopefully, when I get these things lodged correctly, I will be able to experience it, as I deserve it.  Writing this down with that feeling of just wanting to just spend time on the floor rolling and just stay there and no more bathing before bed. LOL.  Big No No.  Good night. Universe, thank you for all the feelings I am able to feel, the longing, the joy, the fatigue, the feeling of being alive. 

 Today was quite a day of unloading and I'm proud of myself I was able to do it.  With that, I cried all day.  I would like to be angry but I didn't. I think I did just fine.  Letting go of things and people that aren't meant to stay is what needs to be done.  I was tied with the idea of him having that image I longed for... that he was the one I prayed for. But I was wrong.  I miss him and if he does something to come back I'd probably be just running towards him and will take him and we all know thats  impossible. He is just not really interested and not into me. My being interesting to him is done. My feelings for him should be that same too. 

 It's Sunday. 124th Philippine Independence Day and I'm just so tired. Life rolled from Monday til today. I didn't really have a decent rest and I look forward to that tomorrow.  People think I got my shit together always, deep down, I am such a mess trying to keep shit together. Sometimes, it works, sometimes, it doesn't.  Today, as those titas knew that I am single, they are more than ready to tell every guy that came to the booth that I am single and ready to mingle. Haha. Funny as if may seem, they were the same people who remind me to simply enjoy life and who and what is meant to be will come in the right time.  Also today's Step Study reminded me about God is always interested in my life and He is eternally faithful.  That was quite a week of events. Calling it a wrap and as much as I wanna go for Archery tomorrow, I don't think I can coz its gonna rain. 

 Felt like dressing up this morning. So, I did.  Good thing I treated myself to a good date coz the next hours after that had just been crazy.  A meeting with a company that had asked if they can add me on Facebook, lead me to activate my online profile that had been quiet for a month since PH election. But I just decided to log it out of the system and since then, I had no urge to check it.  Then work took over, a bunch of hyper kids and investments had to be retold coz they seem to have forgotten why they are on the classroom.  But all is well, just taking time to take a nap and be back on the road and I'm supposed to be off tomorrow but I gotta go to work coz one of my colleague isnt well to cover her classes tomorrow.  But I am not spoiling the good morning I had spent with myself today.  The last date I had was in Tokyo, at TeamLabs, but after that, I honestly felt like I was left high and dry.  This is the best date so far, with me, myself and I. Tripod gaming will be levelin

Thinking of getting a haircut coz the ends of my hair strands are so dry and the strands itself are dry :(  But today had been a good day. But not really with today's classes. I feel like I had underperformed but totally had chill and fun time with the kids.  Will just make up for it on another day with them.  Last meeting in tomorrow morning and then new tasks and actions on summer plans.  Ready for bedtime reading. I should have been done with this Norse Myth book by now.  Here's me thinking I'm cute and I hope it deletes itself. Lol  

 Today is Wednesday.  And I can still feel my shoulders so stiff and the tingling feeling on my lower back being in pain.  Had a lot of things done today though. Despite the laziness. I was feeling so lazy the whole day that I had to drag myself to do things that I had planned to do. A couple of meetings for work and then the work itself and I had to call it a day.  I feel like wanting to stretch my body more but I also feel that I need to really just treat it more kindly and let the pain subside on its own.  After this, Im gonna be making a phone call to catch up with my bestie about life, her diagnosed carpal tunnel syndrome and life in general.  Thank You, Lord for today. It was calm, boring and just had to do the little things that would definitely help to fulfill the bigger goals. 

 Slow Sunday it had been.  Just me and two therapy sessions and a lot of Instagram engagements for the recital pieces for Rope Flow. All I did was stay home. So proud of not having the urge to step out of the door and go somewhere. Well, its rainy too. So, it wasn't an ideal day to go out. Well, I could have at least gone to the grocery store but I didn't.  Also, did a bit of cleaning here and there, not so much tossing of stuff but I did toss stuff I don't think I'll ever have a use of.  Planning on tossing more stuff soon and I am just excited to claim more space and be more minimimalistic and functional in making use of things and spaces.  Here's to Hope that things are gonna get better. Here's to Hope in the name of Jesus that I had always known and had taken for granted.  Pray, journal, devotion and more prayers. To a life of earth filled with blessings and abundance and of course, love. 

So tired for this week. I swear, I don't think I can even take the shower but I am certainly not going to bed without taking a shower.  Life has been pretty boring, but not really dull, feels like I haven't really been making any progress in anything, but as my sister had mentioned, I should always be grateful that I am alive. 

I was supposed to journal last night but I got caught up in a conversation with a uni classmate about research and all other things.  Today is the 2nd of June, and here I am, I would like to talk about my day. I was kinda worried that it won't go well coz I didn't get much sleep last night, but it felt like it still did. I'm just thankful for that. I didn't get to snap on any of the kids in the class, nor did have any worse comment about my teaching today. Coz yes, I got a surprise visit from my boss. Of all days it could have occurred, it happened on a day that I was so worried that I might not really be good in front of the kids. But thankfully, I did.  Still had a lot of tasks left undone today and gotta work on them tomorrow.  If I really have to live the rest of my life alone, I might as well stop chasing people who doesn't wanna be with me. and just learn to really appreciate life being alone. But it doesn't stop the inner heart from wishing, right?  After