Showing posts from January, 2018

Flu flu go away

Life seem to have this cunning ways of choosing when to hit me with sickness. Just in time when I have made plans to write more. MA classes had also started with tons of readings and forums to read and messages to reply to. Ugh. Dearydeay life, just bring it on. As if you gave me or will give me any choice should I choose to resist. Remember I have a God bigger than you. I thought Im solid rock and flu can never ever get into me. But today, I seem to be losing my immune system defenses and I have been having headache and been sniffing endlessly. If I could stay in bed the whole day, I definitely would. I want to eat something with soup, something warm but I dont want udon or soba. I dont want any noodles in a cup as well. I want the thick, red and spicy soup of tomato ramen. Hayst. Why does it have to be too far :( I had taken vit. C tablets hoping it can still do something to prevent me from getting sick. Let's see how far it goes. So far, I am enjoying typing away in my Bl

The Dress

How to lose weight in 2 months: Find an immature boyfriend.  Get drunk and pick a fight with the immature boyfriend who got you drunk in the first place. Break up. Then, cry your heart out. Don't eat. Sulk.  Then, just go to work. Find more work. Read books. Blog about your emo sh*ts in life.  Impose "No Rice Policy" except when there is Jollibee. I bough this dress from a thrift shop last year, that time I couldn't fit in the dress. I told myself that it would be my dress for my graduation in Grad School 2 years from then.  Every now and then, I wear this dress and see if it fits me already, I still have a hard time zipping it up without suffocating, not until tonight. I knew I just had to take a photo of me! Next will be to buy that high-heeled black shoes from Zara I had always wanted.  The next challenge will be to keep fitting in this dress until the big day! And every time I binge-eat, I will look at this photo and remember

Just Another "Short" Story

He said he's back. I replied, "Okay." In my head, I would have said one or two or all of the following: "Says who?" "Until when do you plan on letting me feel you exist?" "I don't believe you." "Oh crap, you must be so lonely to think of wasting time on me." "I would like to see if your balls have really grown enough for you to be called a man." ( Credits to Mr. Tripster for this idea. ) We met five years ago. I wrote a story about him, too. About that one-sided story. While he spent time with me, he was also courting somebody else proximity-wise, closer to him. He was just in PH for vacation then. I was a mere acquaintance kind enough ( stupid enough ) to show him around to places around metro. But before that, we had spent quite a long time talking online-- the dangers of sweet talks, unclear notions and un-clarified intentions. "Guard your heart." The walls are stand high and mighty. I decid

What are you looking for from life?

365 QOTD What are you looking for from life? A The Walking Dead marathon buddy. LOL. Meaning. Finding reasons to live, to be a better version of myself every day for the people I care the most. Find the strength to reach out when I am weak. ****** Quite a tiring day. I had set up my online excel page of expenses, hoping to be able to keep track of my financial habits. Tried selling one of my stocks portfolio but for some reasons, it got cancelled. It was a bit of a loss sell, but still not a sell since it didn't go through, I will just place it again tomorrow. I am halfway the book I am reading right now and I ought to finish it before the month ends. Joyful's kimchi soup is my next favorite to Tomato Ramen. It's that time of the month again. My hormones are crazy and only a very patient boyfriend from the distant future can understand. The previous one got shocked at the initial state of hormonal imbalance. So, help me God.

Why I Write 6.0

It's another January and I realized that I have been writing about my thoughts, my "kababawans", "kadramahan", my grateful moments and my crazy thoughts for almost 6 years now!  More or less 20% of my entire life in writing by me. Well, definitely still less than 20% of my life documented since I didn't really take time to write every single day. But the significant ones, the emotionally- heavy days and nights were written. I started writing as an outlet for my sadness, holding on wishes and attempts on growing up. Life had been a roller coaster ride of words woven together, allowing other people to take a peak on what's going in my head and in my life. The title page had been changed from "saturdaythoughts" to "mimingthoughts" as I had failed to keep the Saturday ritual of writing. Changing it to the present name didn't really take a lot of consideration, I just wanna keep the "cat" vibe in it-- sensitive, chill

What's the hardest thing you are dealing with right now?

365 QOTD What's the hardest thing you are dealing with right now? Why does it seem like the day itself knows what to ask me? LOL. Disclaimer: I know that my issues are way to small than what the whole world is going through right now. The idea that he has a new girlfriend, at a span of more or less 7 weeks after break up, it just hurts. Or maybe, the idea of another party has always been there even before we broke up and the break up was necessary so they can be together. Dang! That double hurts! Oh well, I am still alive. I wish them well. My heart will survive. This is just one of those dark days.  And this is way too small than what the world is suffering from right now. Wars, famine, neglect, illiteracy, social divide and anything else you can think of. For me, I will be okay. **** Alcohol Weekend I seem to have spent my weekend with alcohol. On Friday night, in my attempt to meet the DJ in the house, I got a house-blended Honeyjito from my favorite bar with the ori

My greatest fear is to reach the point of "wala na akong pakialam"

In a shared post, a friend posted a comment asking why I " hate " the current PH administration. "Hate" is such an intense word to describe my view of the current PH administration. But I guess, that's how the society is being shaped-- quick judgments, information avalanche, rampant bullying, lack of soft skills, imbued fear and ultimately, indifference. My greatest fear is to reach the point of " wala na akong pakialam ", so I try to speak up my thoughts. Of course, my opinions may not be agreeable to most but would definitely be open for other's criticisms. I would like to believe, that the people who would criticize and take time to notice, are people who care and who think. Speaking up my mind is my way of saying that I care for the Philippines, my home. Our greatest critics should be the ones close to us, who care about us. It's hard where to start in everything that's going on: People are forced to take sides, the jubilation

What are you looking for in a guy?

I got the same question again: What are you looking for in a guy? This time, it wasn't an enumeration of many superficial, dreamy characteristics. It was just: Someone who won't easily give up on me. On us. In a world where the choosing and choices had sort of increased exponentially, people had started settling on the idea of "it can't be helped." "it wasn't meant to be." Then, start swimming off in the ocean again, repeats the mistake until they end up "settling" for something less. Realizing that the search in itself is tiring and so, they "settle". It has become easier to find a reason to leave than to have the strength to work on misunderstandings together. Some people had lost the courage, the grit and the real meaning of "love". How unfortunate that I keep stumbling upon one of these kind of people. I am on the tired point of making myself available and open and submissive. But one thing is for sure, I


Happy 1st Japanniversary to me! So, I took the time to go out and say thank you to the people who made my move to Japan bearable and wonderful and memorable. First stop was at the Muister Donut where I tried to write my journal. Then, my Filipina friend came with her daughter and so, we took pictures and decided to make a wonderful dinner at their home! Next stop, was to say Hi! to the bartender who made my Miyazaki life alcohol-filled. LOL. He just started his own bar and it is just so wonderful and a good place to be at, and maybe, I would take advantage of the Sunday night free entrance/no charge eves, just because, he does good cocktail mixes and his place just really feels good! Then, on my drunken state, I walked towards The Bar. Knowing that, that the bartender is the guy who broke my heart, I still took the courage to go and just be there. Because The Bar, had been one of the happy places I know in Miyazaki. I don't know how to describe it, but the news of Shige-Sa

What is the last "good" thing you ate?

365 QOTD What is the last "good" thing you ate? A bowl of tomato ramen topped with cheese, basil and garlic.... Oh so good! ***** I arrived in Miyazaki last night. I was welcomed with that cold, chilly feeling. That familiar emptiness and sadness is back. The only thing that keeps me from falling apart is its familiarity. After a year of struggle, finding ways to survive, getting to know people, hurting and finding comfort from people who care, I am well on my way for Year 2 in Miyazaki. I unpacked my stuff as soon as I got up from bed at around 11am. I didn't really have a lot of things to take out but it was still messy and all over the place. I thought of eating tomato ramen but since it was raining, I really didn't have energy to go and hop on the train. So, after a bit of contemplating, I decided to go out and update my passbooks, buy some paperbags for the little gifts I had brought for my friends and grabbed a tuna sandwich and coffee latte at Mister D


2017. I came home past midnight of 27th of December after a series of consecutive trips- a 5-hr bus trip, a 4-hr plane ride and a 30-minute uber car to home. A happy dinner with family and opening of the luggage came after. I knew that I had fallen short of preparations on what to bring who and even missed a lot of people on the list. So, this is what it gets in having a big, extended family. Getting only more or less 4 hours of sleep, the next day, I intended to accomplish my governmental transactions, confident that I can still get my way around , which I did, hailing a taxi cab, riding a UV express and finally deciding to just take the taxi all over again to get to my next destination. I met two good friends at Resorts World, we had lunch and had an exchange gifts, and had tea. The time has always been short whenever  we meet. It had always been limited to now, once a year already since we are all working somewhere else. But it was a great catch up. Time is time, as mentioned by m