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Showing posts from August, 2020

How much is a gallon of milk?

366 QOTD  How much is a gallon of milk?   I don't buy a gallon of milk but I get a liter of milk every week. Coz for most nights, I sleep better when I drink milk.  But tonight, I think I full enough with a good dinner I hurriedly whipped into my kitchen as soon as I arrived: fried chicken lungs, natto with kimchi and rice.  ********************* Today is the last day of August and a Monday and I would like to declare that I have tried my best to be able to accomplish as much as I can. I have submitted a half-baked output just for the sake of completing the requirement halfway and be able to get started with the research proposal. I hope I could give it justice this time.  I flew my quadcaptor drone this morning before I went to the gym and it was so much fun!  I just hope I can do it often but I know that it isn't possible that way. So far, this is the toy that really excited me!  September tomorrow!  > Resuming with my Python learning through DataCamp > Practicum subjec

Did you pay it forward?

 366 QOTD  Did you pay it forward?  I am not sure if I have been making acts of paying forward at all. Recently, requests to my family back home were more of for my personal needs and convenience. I haven't even been putting efforts in filling in the balikbayan box so it can be sent home for them to open up and hopefully they will be happy to receive.  ****** I haven't gotten much sleep last night because of the lightning and thunderstorms that woke me up in the middle of the night. I crept under the sheets but the light streaks still got through the cracks between the blanket and the bed. Then, I still woke up at the usual 6:30, tried to go back to sleep and I gave up on myself and just did a rocket launch to get up and do the morning deeds- folding clothes, brewing coffee, going to the bank, checking on the to do list and updating the calendar for next month's schedule. An email blast from graduate school was sent yesterday stating that if ever we can complete requirement

What did you win?

366 QOTD  What did you win?  I won over laziness this morning and I can still feel the burning feeling in my biceps and triceps after I decided to go against my inner self whispering me not to go to the gym this morning.   ************************* It's past 12midnight again. I arrived home from work just right in the clock stroke midnight.  As soon as I came in, I stripped off my clothes, turned on the lights and the AC and hit the shower. I had a very calm time at work and it as I am still trying to navigate on every school's space and tools, I know that I would be like this.  My car license acquisition goal isn't working as desired and it may or may not be given to me at all. As much as I want to sulk and keep bothering people about it (I know I have bothered a lot already and so much already) I would rather hold my horses, after all, I am still here and able to do what I came here for: to work. Picking up the writing where I left off and slowly molding on the possibilit

How. When. Who. What. To start.....

 It is past 0:30 and I should be soundly sleeping by now but here I am, I got up, poured myself some milk and typing this thing.  There has been this topic I wanted to put up for a podcast but I am having doubts to get started with. As to why I am having doubts, I don't know. As usual, I am afraid to fail. I am scared. I don't think I have what it takes to do it. Most of all, I am lazy and I don't wanna get tired. LOL. But seriously, I just don't know how to start. When to start and who to start with.  I messaged a couple of groups that I know would be potential persons to interview or discuss these things about hoping that we can collaborate and have the ball rolling.  I hope, I pray and now, I wanna go back to sleep.  I have a very early phone call to answer about some purchase in Amazon for someone else tomorrow as well.  Also, I start work a bit early tomorrow too. I can't believe that this is the Mon-Fri workweek I am threading at the moment. Aside from the ini

It has to end coz I am a busy lady.

Taking deep breaths and fighting back the tears. It is just not working anymore. Grab a tissue, wipe the tears, type words again. Then and there, it just happens again and again.  No matter how I try to fight back against it... Anxiety gets me.  Yesterday, I woke up watching the sunrise. I took a dip in the salty water of the sea as the sun slowly makes it way up in the sky. In the afternoon, I had lunch with two of the few people I share my life with here in Miyazaki. We had a good lunch. Later that day, we had a spontaneous trip to the beach for another swim, this time, while watching the sun set on the west side. It was calming. There was a feeling of longing, of wishing that I could be sharing this special day with the most important people in my life.  This wasn't the kind of feeling I imagined this day would be like, of all days, why does it have to be this one. But that's it, anxiety just comes on moments that you least expect it to be. This morning, I did my laundry, di

The Current Cycle

It is like the world is on my shoulders.  I have been trying to fill it in with things that makes me feel productive and positive, still at the end of the day, it is exhausting.  If not for the workouts, I probably would have had more nervous breakdowns and anxiety attacks.  If not for the pressure of grad school, I probably would have been so lost in the scrolling of dating sites again and again. If not for prayers of family back home, I probably am continually a lost soul. For now, I am consciously trying to find my way into the light. If not for the people around me, I don't know what else to say.  This year's birthday is a test of resilience and a battle for survival.  It would have been a dream of driving a jetski or flying side-by-side with a pilot on a lightweight aircraft or a paraglide experience. Just none of them are possible at the moment. Still, being alive and healthy at this trying times is something to be grateful for already.  The opportunity to have a job that

Homebound

A few minutes from now and I am ready to board the plane for a domestic flight:  Nagoya bound for Miyazaki After a 2-week intensive training for a new company I am gonna be working with moving forward, I am just so excited to go home. I miss my little apartment space, my bed and the peace in itself.  For the past two weeks I wasn't able to have any form of being alone to reflect on things, to meditate or to just be plain quiet. It had all been about learning new things, unlearning old stuff and re-learning some. I am very grateful for the past two weeks of something new despite the global pandemic that almost stop almost everything around the world, I got a new job that is pretty much stable and with consistent support in my chosen home in Japan.  I am going back with additional 9 kgs of luggage due to the non-stop shopping we had done on our free days. I would have bought more had I not remembered that I have a driving test to prepare and spend for when I get back. HAHA.  Going ba