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Showing posts from August, 2022

29 Aug 2022

 I had a breakdown last night.  I got home with all my stuff from the recent work and camping trip scattered on the floor, the kitchen filled with dinnerware needing to be washed, piled up dirty clothes on another side, I haven't had enough sleep from last night's camping location, the hangover from a fun night jam at a Filipino restaurant, I just couldn't take it anymore. I tried going to bed and then I just started sobbing.  What's different about last night was, I had a friend come and helped me out clean the room, clear the floor, comfort me and hugged me.  The hug felt good. It was warm. His arms around me made me feel so tired yet safe. I cried a bit more. I didn't wanna let go, but I know that I had to its late and he had to go home and sleep to be able to work the next day. And if he hadcstayed a little bit longer, we both would regret what happens next. I'm glad he left right away.  I thought I will be able to sleep. It looked like I did but I would wak

27 Aug 2022

 It is 1:39 AM as I type this away.  I had gone to bed at midnight, abruptly cutting all conversations so I can stick with the 12 night cap, but here I am still wide awake and hoping that after this blog entry, I would be able to fall asleep.  July 2022 felt like a very long month that suddenly ended and then August came and now, just about to leave.  I don't even know why I stopped sitting down before bedtime to write about my days and my thoughts. Maybe at some point, I would like to admit that it felt like days were happy days. There were stressful moments as usual, like my car popping up with the maintenance icon telling me I need to see my car mechanic. The icon would appear and then would be gone. It drives me nuts. It drove nuts twice already. LOL.  I think the reason why I couldn't sleep was because I didn't properly eat dinner. So, here I am, now just eating dinner. LOL.  I have met new friends in July and been in constant contact with them and Miyazaki life has be

10 AUG 2022

I obviously didn't take time to reflect on how my July had gone and here I am almost mid August and I havent thought of updating my shattered thoughts as well.  I really should get back to it.