500DoS

This is my own 500 Days of Summer. 

I would like to think that I am Summer and you are Tom. 

But in our 500DOS, I didnt't leave you hanging because I fell in love with another man. I had just grown tired trying to define whatever we used to have. Afterall, relationships are messy.  You didn't ran after me because you have either other girls waiting or priorities that doesn't include me in it. 

Our 500DOS ended when I asked the question what are we and I never got an answer, only silence. My mistake was, maybe our story wasn't suppose to be for a 500 days, it's probably for another thousand days? How would I know? I became impatient and that had ended what I used to see as a ray of hope, a piece of sunshine on a daily basis. 

Your mistake was maybe you should have talked and said that one word, "Wait." That would have made a difference. Just that one word and my restlessness, hopelessness and impatience would have dwindled down. I would put that in my mind, my pocket, my station, my book as a reminder. I'll wait for you. 

In our 500DOS, we never kissed just yet. Never held hands. Just a few, countable friendly hugs and conversations that involve our families, dreams and anything under the sun. But in my mind, I dream of holding your face with my palms as I kiss you on the lips before I turn my back and end that wonderful day with you in the park. Or maybe hold that abs, or us exploring each others' body up to that world where only the two of us can take each other to. 

In our 500DOS it is me who blindedly ask the question and not you. Only to be trapped in silence. You leaving across the shores without assurance if you still wanna spend more summers with me or it's over. I would like to take your silence as a period of reckoning of how our very of 500DOS, that maybe one day, like Summer and Tom, we will sit at that bench in the park side by side, you will hold my hand and tell me, "Thank you for waiting for me." 

Archive. 
11 September 2015

4 comments:

  1. It's good that this is posted on January and not next month. Anyway, why so sad?

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    1. I actually had forgotten about this thing I had written but I recently just chatted with one of my guy friends about 500 Days of Summer and how it is still applicable to relationship statuses nowadays.

      Things had just piled up but of course, gotta bounce back. Just taking my time to sulk para pagdating ng Feb, naka-move on na ko at manonood na lang ako sa mga pag=eemo ng mga tao. Plant status muna ko. Hehe

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  2. Teka, is this your personal thing? sobrang applicable niyan sa boys, well ok fine sakin. hahahahha. I just thought that, for most torpe pips, it's hard to move, or make that move. This year i learned na mali yun, never ever make relationships so blurry that you two are blurred about what's going on. Have the intention and always clear things. :)

    Be specific. :)

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    1. I have totally forgotten about writing this previously until I had a catch up conversation with a friend (who would remember me when he has a brokenheart. I think I'm really designed to be that kind of person) over coffee the other day about relationships and my hanging career disposition recently (i think our friendship is designed to be as one, my being his sister from another mother and him being my career mentor)

      Actually more of baliktad nga yang personalities jan eh.. in the movie, it was tom who had been really trying to DTR (define the relationship). In my end, when I did my move, I didn't even try to define it, it tried to end it abruptly, even before. But how can something be ended when it hasn't even started? So labo diba.. Eventually, when the courage had been gathered to DTR, it did not fall into my favor and it damn hurts. Seriously. Funny it hurts when after all, there was never an us. And it shouldn't hurt. This was way beyond Summer's description of relationships being messy. Nonetheless, everything had gone into thin air should I say and back to square one.

      When I wrote this months ago, it was just trying to turn the tides in my favor coz I know reality wasn't.

      I have my a life of my own to fix afterall. My retroactive amnesia will soon activate like it never happened.

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