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Showing posts from June, 2017

It's time for her to go.

Today is a somersault of emotions.

I keep waking up very early in the morning and have difficulty getting up in bed, recently. What is wrong with me?

Since today is day off, I was suppose to go to Conversation class with my friends but that didn't happen. I decided to just meet them for lunch and go to another appointment at 3pm. I was just planning to buy an electric fan coz I can't afford to keep using the AC, too much for daily consumption. Then, Ms. L told me that I should not bother to go buy one coz she will just give me one of their old ones that isn't being used at home. Lucky me! That saves me almost 5000 yen on my budget.

Later that day, I went to meet another friend from the university to catch up. It went well. I don't know when is the next one since we never really got to have matched schedules.

Then, as usual, window shopping at the mall that never really ends up as just window shopping. I got myself a discounted silver ring and a pair of earrings. I saw a …

So, what will I write about today?

I woke up at 9am. Slowly worked my way into the day, had an internal battle about attending the Japanese class, in the end, I still did go to it(happy laugh). Good job to that, Self.

Two classes today, lesser vids watched in between. Booo...

Free dinner courtesy of Tita G! Yey!

Eventhough I sleep late, I keep waking up at around 5 or 6 am and I have struggle getting back to sleep. I keep dreaming of the same person, too.

Six months and I always tell myself that I still have many things to learn. Made me think if within that span of six months, had I learn something? I probably did  but since I am naturally stubborn, I slip back to being that every now and then. So, I need constant reminder.

I dont know about tomorrow, but I know that God holds my hand.

365 QOTD
Were you alone today?
Nope. I was different bunch of people today who made me feel I belong and I matter. It was a good day.

Enough with the rant.

Destiny is a reward given to those who never stop believing. -Boku, Unmei No Hito Desu

I finally had the time to watch the last episode tonight. And that line, though it was just a translation via jimaku, it really resonated on me.

How would I describe work today? It would have been truly amazing until the final hour. Got one class and completed two lesson plans, I felt that it was productive day. Add to that the number of videos I had watched while lurking on social media. So productive, eh. Until, the bad news arrived. The management wanted us to conduct a lesson designed for elementary teachers. It was good idea, it was really something I am excited about coz it had always been my dream to be a teacher-trainer. If there is any good place to start with, it would be this event. But it entails a lot of work-- needs assessment, consultations, design of the program, proofreading of the lesson plans and the execution itself. I had pictured it to be something tedious but it would all be w…

This is Not True. LOL.

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Mishy mushy and cheesy

Ms. E told me that I should hurry up and do the first move. To which I asked, how is that possible?

She loves making fun of my being single and my failed dating attempts. Whenever she asks me what I am looking for in a guy, I always tell her that I dont know. But the truth is, I really know what type of guy I like. Someone who exists only in films or drama series. Someone brave enough to declare his love and affection. Someone who is consistent, honest and faithful. Someone non-existent as others would say.

I am not the kind who would really do the first move when I like someone but when someone I like makes a move, I could easily give into temptations, I tell you. I had also learned to not speculate kindness to be something else. I am continually learning not to expect anything in return for my own unselfish deeds as well. And even though I may show submissiveness, I am not the type who would initiate contact. I would like to be approached moreso courted or at least given enough atte…

Bumpin' Sunday.

Morning started with the ritual video call for breakfast with family. Papa was extra cheerful talking about his being officially a recipient of pension as a retired citizen. I was still lazily lying in bed when they said goodbye to go on with the Sunday church activities.

I decided to get up and slowly do the usual day off duties like the laundry and the dishes. I cooked yakisoba for lunch and packed my bag to pick up a package in the post office and then headed to the library. In the library, I tried to study as usual, giving myself breaks in between to read something else.

Ms.E suddenly sent me a photo of her having a yakiniku party at the comfort of her home and invited me to join her. Food! Who am I to say no to food?! In 20 minutes, I am home and traded my yakisoba and bottle of cider soda for a bunch of grilled pork, cabbage and bell peppers. Getting luckier, she gave me cheese desserts too!

I took a nap and realized that I had bills to pay so I had no choice but to go out agai…

Unplanned Pizza Night

So far, I am enjoying writing about the detailed day-to-day events of my life. I realized that when I started doing this, I was on a low point and had been writing all about things that are sad and lonely. I guess, hormonal imbalance can really tip me off. It is difficult to deal with, but hey, there are lot of good things going on with my life.

Saturday is usually a busy day at work. Today was nothing different from that. However, the torrential rains the whole day and early evening, made it a more F$^$$d up night. Going home seemed to be next to impossible that I even thought that of hailing a cab just so I can go home as soon as I can. But Ms.E insisted that we just take a walk home. So we did. In the middle of the walkathon, the rain got stronger and halfway through, we were drenched in rain like ducks in a pond. The rain wasn't getting any weaker as we got nearer our home.

I told myself, I would order that pizza and I would grab a bottle of wine at the grocery store tonight, no…

But at the end of the day....

Dreams.

Having so much time in my hands is not good.

Yesterday was Father's Day, I took time to post something wacky about the men in the family who I grew up with as fathers to me. From my biological father, to my uncle and to my late lolo.

Then, just now on my break time, I binged-watch several videos on my social media feeds-- reactions of first time dads upon knowing that their wife/partner is pregnant, father's day vids, greetings and the last one was a wedding sde made by a professional videographer friend somewhere in Canada.

Out of the blue, I asked myself:

Will I ever have that experience?

A dream wedding. A dream guy. A dream family.

Maybe one day, I will have the chance to write it in details, so that, at least, in writing, I have it.

Landslide Collab

I fell in love with this song ever since I heard it in Glee Series. Sang by Gwyneth Paltrow with Savannah and Brittany.

Then, a long lost friend I haven't talked to online for quite awhile checked my youtube page and offered that he would play the guitar and I do the vocals for this song based from the original track by the Fleetwood Mac.

It wasn't a perfect recording, but when I listened to my own voice with the music at the backgroud, it just felt different and I felt a little teary. I guess, the song really touched my heart.






I missed it for a good reason.

For almost 3 consecutive weeks now, my daily schedule hasn't been followed.

I didn't go to the Friday Japanese conversation class again. I've been missing it frequently, lately. Not good. Not good.

But I guess, today, I missed it for a good reason.

My cousin who lives in Australia messaged me if I have work coz she wanted to talk. She has been frustrated with how things are going on in their home and wanted to talk about it. So, I sat down, and just talked to her.

A little background

I grew up, with her as the elder sister I can closely have. Our families used to spend Sunday lunches together. We spend academic days celebrating honors and awards with ice cream and cakes from our favorite Uncle Manoy. She graduated first, worked as a nurse in the UK then moved to Australia where she started a new life with her "husband" and their 2-year old cute little girl.

The Now

As part of the new life, the husband's 15-year old son from the previous marriage, was petiti…

On Growing Old.

It was Lounge Mode, so I asked her what she wanted to talk about. She said she wants to know about the Geriatric Home Care back in PH.

Interesting. Growing old. How do people grow old in PH? Who takes care of them? Interesting  eh?

In the PH, if one has a family  usually, the grow old with the family, we call it extended or nuclear kind of set up. The government provides pension  but not necessary daily needs to the geriatric population.

There are no government-funded facility that can shelter this group. Only hospitals have specialized wards dedicated to this age bracket. Most home cares are privately-owned which are very costly while others are supported by foundations and donations from different sectors.

Quite different from how it is in Japan , she said.

At age 40, the working population is required to get a salary cut for their pension. This fund will qualify them to government support and facility once they reach the retirement age. They either go to a Nursing Home or a regist…

Wednesday Off

Wednesday is almost over and I am so looking forward to my favorite Thursday.

I stopped going to the Wednesday Japanese conversation class until further notice.

Work has been unimaginably stressful and demanding, but hell yeah, bring it on. I am so looking forward to the busy days ahead.

I went to the library today and did "self-study" but really, I feel asleep in the middle of reading.

Highlight of the day will be the completion of the collab song I have with a friend in the US. Though I wasnt really satisfied, he said that it was a good one for an amateur like me. A consolation. When he sent me the file and I started listening to it, I can't believe it was me. Haha.

We are up for more projects he said!

Then, ended the day with onsen with my hakado no tomodachi Tita G.

Work clothes for tomorrow (check)
Cleaning (check)
Laundry (wait)
Lunch box (wait)

All I know is, tomorrow will be a busy day.

365 QOTD:
How many pushups can you do?

Next question please!  I can do 5 to 7…

You know where to find me.

You know where to find me. 
Sundays are library days unless otherwise, Tita G has something scheduled like a trip to onsen, another town or just walking in the afternoons. 
As always, I am guilty of not studying what I planned to study. Though I am doing a good job of being off my phone, I am reading something else instead of practicing how to read Hiragana and katakana and simple Japanese literary pieces like douwa. 
I practice writing 5 kanji characters then go back to reading What If, then go back to writing and reading then, I go back more excitedly to reading Witches. 
Crazy as it may seem, I have this habit of reading multiple books alternately. Instead of finishing an entire book before jumping into another. 
Books bring me comfort whenever I feel broken. It may not give me that kind of joy another human being can offer but it definitely can give me that slow cure from being broken. Making me feel whole again. 
Books take me to places I dream of going to, inspire me to take me…

What are my priorities in life again?

Early this morning, my friend whom I haven't spoken with in awhile, sent me a message. She was asking how am I. I said, I am good and still homesick.

She said, it's okay coz I am lucky to have job. Then, started sharing that she is currently out of work and in the middle of self-pity and finding ways to survive and not having money. Just all about the misery she has been going through.

I had no idea how to respond.

In times like this, I am more curious of how she is handling things and what has she been doing to alleviate her situation. Just gotta move forward.

I told her that it's okay to sulk for a few minutes but then, gotta pick up her butt and just do what needs to be done, like keep on applying.

I told her that I know how it feels to have nothing and as if the world being against you.

I told her that every person has a burden, we just differ how we carry ours.

For some reason, she said that it felt good to talk to me that morning. I apologized coz, I wish I can do mo…

Sunday came so fast.

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Funny how life plays with my feelings--Saturday I felt so low and lone then came Sunday, I was with different bunch of people of 3 separate occasions i the day, to the point that eventhough I am already here in Japan, my father would still scold me and tell me to go home, on Skype.

30-yr old and single. My father still expects me to follow his orders. Lol. Oh well, I am not complaining.
I woke up lazily at 11am yesterday. I texted my Filipina friend and asked if I can come and visit her daughter and of course, pay respect to her mother-in-law who recently passed away. It was my very first Japanese wake visit.

It was very different from how it is done in the Philippines. Her husband was so accommodating, he taught me how to light the incense stick, pin it on  the white little vase filled with sand and how to pray.

He also mentioned that Shinto is not a religion but a way of living, how Japanese people are accepting all sorts of introduction of many beliefs for the sake of world peace.…

But still it was a good night. I suppose.

After a few weeks of being a couch potato, last night, I decided to go to the only bar I go to.

So, after doing the laundry and the dishes, I dressed up, wore my fave black jumpsuit and pink lipstick, tied my hair in a bun, and put on my white flat sandals.

The bar is on the third floor. I don't really know why they locate bars on higher floors. Kinda unsafe for drunken people who wants to go home. haha.

It was a good night. I suppose. I met a few interesting people. A travelling, drunken French guy, a guy who said he was born in New York but can barely speak English, a Japanese guy who was on a date with a very pretty girl and an old Canadian guy who has been in Miyazaki. Funny how just sitting down at my fave spot at the bar could get me to expand my circle, start conversations, piss me off at some point, get sarcastic and have a good laugh.

I played table tennis, billiards and jenga and the humpty dumpty version of jenga.

Two tall glasses of Highball and 2 glasses of beer (Im …

No matter how I despise the current administration.

As I write this, I have a can of “chuhai” wrapped in tissue. It’s the usual flavour I get on a Friday night that I don’t make my own mix.  ********
Tonight, my friend from the US asked me to sing the Philippine National Anthem. She has been bugging me about the lyrics last night. She even asked if I still remembered the Panatang Makabayan, so far, I can still remember a few lines from the old ones and can still recite most of the lines from the current version. 
So, after doing my chores and before I went to take my night shower, I did a recording of the song. It wasn’t perfect, I still have that short deep breaths very obvious in the recording, struggling on the high notes and trying to make sure I had the right lyrics in my head. It all felt good though. Every lyrics lingered. 
I am still singing it in my head. I have to learn to play it in the guitar too. 
I guess, I really love the Philippines. No matter how I despise the current administration. No matter how I adore this country calle…

Hiding My Heart by Adele Cover Song (Incomplete)

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I had trimmed the video to cut the third stanza cover because it had become "guaj-guja" and I was already tired to do another cover song. I had done this recording last Monday night after dinner.

This has been my LSS for the past few days, thus, the attempt to let it out. HAHAHA.

I'm sorry for the incompleteness my dear Adele.

*******

This is how the story went
I met someone by accident
Who blew me away
Blew me away
And It was in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow and you took my pain
And buried them away, buried them away

I wish I could lay down beside you
When the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away

Dropped you off at the train station
Put a kiss on top of your head
Watched you wave
And watched you wave
Then I went on home to my skyscrapers
And neon lights and waiting papers
That I call home
I call that home

I w…