Life of a Kat

How are you all?  There's just so much hatred everywhere. It's much intense than ever before based on my observation. So, I really wanted to know how are you all.  I will never understand your inner battles but rest assure that I am trying my best to understand you as individuals who, just like any other boy or girl, wants to make a mark on this world-- a space of recognition and utmost acceptance.  I will never understand your inner battles against the known truth about sexuality and the expectations of this society.  I will never understand anything about why some people hate you and condemn you so much without even knowing you.  I will never understand why you gay people love sex the way you have it. I don't need to know anyway.  I will always admire your bravery to stand up for yourself and what you want. From the moment you chose to follow your heartbeats, you became your own heroes.  I had nothing much to say. I rea...

I was really shocked when I saw your name popped up on my Messenger Box. I felt that you are having a heavy heart at the moment. Maybe that's what had pushed you to talk to me. You asking about my opinion about you. I thought it would be easy. Then I realize, it would mean I would have to go back from the time I had first met you, to the time we started going out, to the time became us and the time we broke up. It’s like opening that chest of memories that is filled with roller coaster ride of emotion that lead to a bittersweet downfall.  I always want to remember you as the good person I had come to know. Just like before, you started talking to me because you are having issues with some other girls. You haven’t told me, I haven’t asked, I just felt it. You are adventurous. Most likely that’s the thing that had drawn me to you. Your love for adventure and nature.  You are simple. So simple that you are contented with whatever you are having at the moment. ...

How are you? Did you get to read that first letter I sent? If not, oh well, please take time to read. I wrote it for you. I actually received a reply only to find out that the person who wrote it is gay. I wasn't shocked anyway. He was trying to be cool and reading his letter was fun! I suggest you read it too! I posted it as well.  You're probably busy? Of course you are! I can't fall for some lazy-ass guy. That happened once, and never again. I've learned. I had fallen for you for so many reasons. Let me think again: A. You pass my standard of "gwapo" which actually is not that high I was told. It can be equated to emotional maturity which is something I lack. B. You are witty and make me laugh so hard.  C. You're straight. Do I still have to explain this one?  D. You are positive and optimistically-biased.  E. You can cook. Not that I can't that's why you have to know but I find it fascinating that guys cook. I l...

I am cleaning out the drafts on my page, as they pile up and up, I feel that I won't be able to complete them anymore. There is nothing else to write about it anymore.  24 June 2014 I haven't stopped stalking on you. I know its not ok. I know its not right. And it has to stop. I dont know how to set myself free from all these mess I've made out of myself. ***** 02 July 2014 Umuulan. Nagising ako sa ulan. Kumukulog. Takot ako sa kulog. Kumikidlat. Ang liwanag ng kidlat. Takot ako sa malakas na ulan, kulog at kidlat. ***** 13 August 2014 Finding my destiny. I am excited. I am excited to know what would become of me 7-8 months from now. As the end of my contract is fast-approaching, career counseling, personality tests and leadership seminars are being spearheaded for our batch. As per Myers-Briggs Test Inventory (MBTI), my career personality type falls under Extrovert-iNtuitive-Thinking-Judging (ENTJ). ***** 28 August 2015 7:48...

4:25 AM Antagal ko ng walang random post. Once a month dapat meron. 1. Feeling ko sobrang toasted ang brain ko lately. Dami ko lang iniisip. 2. I'm back to nightshift. It was a choice I had made hindi dahil ayoko ng magturo kundi gusto ko munang .... hindi ko rin alam... So, you see, I'm at lost again. 3. Laging tanong yan sakin, bat ako bumalik dito. Ang hirap sagutin. Promise. 4. May hinihintay ako. Nag-attempt akong makakuha ng sagot, sabi nya tatawagan nya ko, pero hindi nya ginawa. One of these days, sana makonsensya sya at tawagan nya ko dala ang isang magandang balita. Napakagandang balita. Kung hindi naman, ok lang. Iiyak ako. Tapos G! na sa Plan B. 5. Nakita ko may ka-holding hands ka sa picture. 6. Mood swings. Oh mood swings. 7. Andami kong babasahin. Pero andami ko din dapat i-OT. So, yeah, pa-flip-flip lang. 8. Parang itong buong taon to, mauubos ko yata sa realignment ulit ng buhay ko? 9. Gusto ko lang magsulat nang magsulat pero wala naman ako...

Im sorry for scolding you last Sunday noon. Im not sorry for crying in front of you that time though. I wanted you to know that I care so much for you. I really just can't understand you most of the time, nonetheless, I love you so much and I know how much you deeply love us too.  Your hands are wrinkled, your hair all gray, your back and shoulders a little bit bent already from the many years of hardwork and labor.  Whenever you share your struggles as you try to look back how our family survived--- sending 2 kids to college, 2 high schools simultaneously while supporting family needs with a very meager pay as an employee and as tricycle driver, I can't stop the tears from flowing down my eyes. It was a tough stage. Before that, you even tried your luck overseas, but it didnt turn out well like what we hope for. I always forget that hard stage of our family life maybe because it was so hard that I don't wanna remember the pain we had gone through.  "Ha...

It became a habit to flip a book before I sleep. A short story. A poem. A note.  This time, I had decided to re-read the Chicken Soup for the Soul 101 Stories. Today, instead of just one, I finished 3 and decided to write this before I close my eyes.  The first entry talks about dreaming big. The second one about having someone as a source of encouragement and the third one about missing a birthday. All of which are things I need to learn in my daily struggle.  I have dreams. Big dreams and I realize that I haven't really worked hard to achieve it. If I wanna get that article posted, then I should start writing about it. If I wanna ace school, then I should spend more time studying. If I wanna land that dream job, then I should start writing that cover letter and resume. If I wanna travel places, then I should start moving. I easily gets discouraged. I doubt myself so much. But I try to find encouragement from others that is why I always feel good when sur...

Feeling ko lang antagal kong di nag-blog-blog. Namiss ko tuloy. Dahil mainit ngayon, kumanta ko para umulan naman. LOL. Nakikipagkompitensya din ako sa iyak ng batang neighbor namin. Maybe by Ingrid Michaelson I don't wanna be the one to say goodbye But I will, I will, I will I don't wanna sit on the pavement while you fly But I will, I will, oh yes I will 'Cause maybe in the future, you're gonna come back You're gonna come back around Maybe in the future you're gonna come back You're gonna come back Oh, the only way to really know is to really let it go Maybe you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back You're gonna come back to me I don't wanna be the first to let it go But I know, I know, I know If you have the last hands that I want to hold Then I know I've got to let them go 'Cause maybe in the future you're gonna come back You're gonna come back around Maybe in the future you're...