How are you? Oopps, I shouldn't have asked that question. I know you are not really feeling well.
I can sense that your heart has been heavy for quite sometime now. Noticeably heavier this time though. I know. I know. Everything's gonna change again. Two years ago, you had seen yourself as a teacher, now, the two years is about to end and for whatever reason, you don't see yourself in the classroom anymore. Not on a daily basis, right? That's what you meant? But you still love teaching.
You thought going back to your previous life would be that easy, but the two years that had gone so fast had just brought a few challenges and now, you have doubts in your heart if you will ever get that right job for you. That one, stable and reliable job that would enable you to help and give to your family and other people. That job that would make you build that house with your sibs where your parents can live. That job that would enable you to afford plane rides that will take to many places you had dreamed of. That job that would enable you to help more people. That job that would enable you to buy real books and not rely on .epubs and .pdf files. Your eyes are too tired reading on the tablet.
Buying that book Second Chance was a very good decision, remember that part where Kiyosaki said, not all people can work on the ground level. Not all people can stay on teaching. But that not necessarily means that one stop supporting the advocacy about education in general. Sometimes, it is better to step out of the system and not wait to be chewed up and then be spitted out later on. Deciding not to be permanent public school teacher had been very easy for you to do. What's hard is leaving this school, this house and the people you had learned to love and spend your days with. Your co-teachers are amazing teachers. Your co-fellows are amazingly crazy just like you to join this ground level adventure. You survived and had grown with them within the two years. And the kids! See those kids, they hug you every time they see you, they tell you how much they love and you how they changed from being that major headache to be those kids who are very sweet, respectful and values their education so much. You have left a mark on them and they, they had not just left a mark. They had totally changed you to that somebody who is way better than you were before you met them.
Until further notice, I know that you will not stop thinking about a future job until you get one. Remember that, you are surrounded with people who wants to see you succeed in life because that is one thing you always want to see in others. They are praying for you as you keep on praying and claiming that you will get that job. Because you will. If not, that is because God has one that is allotted for you. Trust Him. He had never failed you and never will. Be still.
I know you want that ice cream. Go get one. You haven't done any workout for the week. I forgive you. But next week is a different story, so I hope not to hear anymore excuses. You had worked hard to lose so much weight and I don't want you becoming that great "bilog" again as described by your dad. The change might have been significant but you still a lot to work on. Also note that exercise increases your brain function to as much as 20%. You need all that wittiness you can have so that you can answer in your future job interviews!
I've talked so much. Arghh... Getting through with the time of the month is excruciatingly painful both physically and emotionally. It's gonna end soon. I expect you to be on a better mood soon.
Stop worrying. Everything's gonna be ok. I promise.