Monday is for Patience.

Today is July 25, 2016

I’ve been thinking on how I will write this one while on the train, then I can’t remember a thing anymore. -_-

I told my family that I am scheduled for a job interview today. The schedule has been set a long long time ago and today, I had my mindset prepared and all set for the said moment. However, things had changed when they said that we all had to wait for a phone call from a pre-selection committee. Should you receive a notice, that’s the only time you will need to go to the office. However, since I am confident about my credentials, deep in my heart, I really did hope to be one of those who will receive the phone call. But I never did receive any this morning. I was really sad. Super sad. I even appealed to the coordinator if I can still be included for today, I know it was a desperate call.

I texted my friend. I cried in front of my friends. I cried to my friend over the phone. Then I told my uncle I was very sad when I got home. 

But still, God is so good to not let this day end so down. He is indeed merciful. 

Today’s Realizations

1.      I’m not that patient enough. I still need to learn more about it and embrace it more.
2.      No matter how qualified I feel, I cannot just insist myself to be on the list. I have to wait for my turn.
3.      I am so blessed to be surrounded with people who understand and know the right words to say at times like this.
4.     They believe I can do it, why am I having a hard time believing myself.
5.     I’ve been rejected a lot of times, every time it happens, it still hurts.
6.      I should never lose hope and would only stop dreaming big when people around me had stopped believing in me.
7.      I thought I have overcome the idea of being on top of the list always, I still expect too much and think too high of myself. I keep forgetting that other than abilities, it’s attitude that’s important.

Today’s Quotes:

D: Everything happens for a reason. Antay ka lang.

J: Kat, don’t lose hope. Test lang to. Test of patience.

V: Antay ka lang, alam naming kaya mo yan.

G: It’s all about the timing. Nagsisimula pa lang ang laban.

J: But don’t lost hope. Give it your best.

U: Wag ka na malungkot. Nararamdaman kong matatanggap ka din. Naniniwala ako sayo.

Thank you Lord. Thank you for this Monday. Thank you for the wonderful people in my life. I don’t know what I have done to receive so much love and acceptance for who I am.

Brief and Sweet Escape.

Today is July 24, 2015.

I am used to having my day figured out even before it started. Not that it always happen that way, but at least, I had something to look forward to.

For today's morning schedule was a brunch date with my former housemate to catch up about life musings and update about each other's lives. The schedule has been blocked a week before the day. That's how we both want to set things in our lives--on routine, on schedule.

Afternoon was for an orientation seminar regarding a job opportunity I had been longing for.

I had been battling the thought of my itchy feet wanting to go to Tagaytay. It has been awhile that I had done something so spontaneous and so random. It seems that everything has been planned, calculated and accounted for.

At around 4pm, I texted up a friend asking what's the fastest way to go to Tagaytay but knowing it may take forever to get an answer, I decided to just make a phone call. And viola! I got my directions.

As soon as I hopped into the bus, I had it all figured out. Estimated time of arrival. Where will I eat dinner. Possible dinner options. And of course, that coffee and the spot in the view deck where I will sit and how long will I stay there. Estimated travel time homebound.

And it all went on a I had them figured out in my head.

I felt accomplished for the day. I realize how I miss long bus rides. How I manage to sleep althroughout the trip and them pumped up with energy upon reaching my destination.

I didn't mind having dinner alone and sitting down at one corner of the view deck while sipping my coffee. I turned off my phone for awhile, hoping to be detached from everything and everybody. I just stared at the darkness. I didn't flinch when the lightning struck. Making that fine white line across the sky, illuminating the horizon for a brief second. I was just staring.

Then, it's time to go home. I still don't want to. But I know that I have to. Next time, I'll do it again. My brief and sweet escape.

posted from Bloggeroid

Things I Want To Write About

………….  thoughts and takes on the movie How to be Single.
…………..  opinion on the book Why Men Love Bitches.
…………..  our first-ever class group date last Father’s Day.
…………..  reaction while reading Me Before You.
…………..  comments while reading After You.
…………..  how to answer the “why?” follow up question after saying “Yes.” to the question, “Are you single?”

I can’t find the word to start on anything. I just want to write. Writing is like talking. It’s talking to myself and to people who would care to listen. Writing gives me the power to express myself and my thoughts in a more organized manner. Writing gives me freedom, without caring for the judgment of others and those who bother to read my thoughts.

Writing helps me keep my memory. There are a lot of things that I seem to have been forgotten but are written here or in the other private journal..

Writing helps me let go of my fears, my anger, my hatred. It also allows me to let go, be it a feeling or someone. Then look back, reflect and sigh.

At some point, well most of the time, I tell myself, I will write about it. I will write about things, but I never get them done, just because I am lazy or hesitant about things or lost for words on how to describe how things are going on with my life.

One of these days, I shall sit down, probably munching on an apple while typing away words on my keyboard for the topics abovementioned.