On Dating and Meeting New People

I said I had quit on Tinder. I actually did but before that, I was able to build a little circle of cyber acquiantances as my LINE contacts. (LINE is the most popular messaging app they have in Japan)

With that, I was able to get onto a few dinner dates on the weekends, as of this writing, all of which were local Japanese. Usually on a Saturday since I work late on Fridays also. I met a few good guys. One was weird but still, it all went well in the end. 

A few things that got me thinking in the end......

1. Language Barrier. 
          It's very hard to communicate in speaking two different languages. How awkward it looked when we had to rely on depend on digital translator to keep the conversations going. No matter how I try to keep trying to ask for words in Nihonggo, some people aren't really that patient enough to teach others, I guess. 

2. Getting Laid.
       I don't know if it has something to do with my being a foreigner that they thought I am liberated enough to open my legs to them after a free dinner which I actually offered to pay for mine even before we personally met.

3. Teach English.
        I dont know how many times I had to remind the guy that I am out to meet people on my off hours and not to find someone who is desperate to learn English.

4. Insecurities.
         Japanese girls are beautiful. Glowing skin. Beautiful eyes and very fashionable clothes.

5. Just gotta be real.
        Apart from language differences that can cause miscommunications, it really takes a lot of effort to connect to someone. Sometimes, it just happens, most of the time, at least I tried.

I probably would still have to edit this entry in the future, but for the meantime, let it be. 

Comments

  1. 1. They say, in love there is no language barrier. Wrong. IN lust, when you're both in bed, there is no need of language, thus, no barrier. Charot!

    2. Now there is where we are different. At the slight touch of the hand, i am quick to spread open my butt-cheeks. hahaha! Kidding! I think it's not really about your being a gaijin. It's about these guys being chauvinist pigs, and the fact that their culture is sexually repressing them.

    3. Why would they even find language coaches in Tinder? A-holes. But i know a story of an Italian business man who looked for a teacher who could help him with English, and this Filipina eventually married the guy. So they're probably thinking the same thing. But it's really frustrating. Why don't you just polish your Japanese?

    4. So? Daig ng confident ang maganda, kasi you're investing on your sex appeal. Devah? hahaha!

    5. It takes two to tango, and it takes a lot of work to learn tango. Nobody said it was easy.

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha....

      I wish I can just be as open as that, I just need to lower my expectations and minimize my turn-off points with guys, I think. LOL...

      Well, I can say that my Nihonggo is improving little by little. I can seem to communicate and get what I want in simple situations but long conversations and most of the topics I'm inclined with, are still a little bit complicated to discuss for most of them. HAHAHA...

      But, it will get there... so far, kahit pano, di zero ang social life. Hayst.

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  2. I have never been to Japan, nor do I know much about Japanese culture (for example, how widespread is English language?), but I did read a book recently entitled "Modern Romance" by Aziz Ansari. (Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Modern-Romance-Aziz-Ansari/dp/0143109251/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1491269163&sr=8-1&keywords=Modern+Romance)
    and in that book, there is a chapter on Japan, where he refers to modern Japanese males as herbivore men. (Wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbivore_men)
    The impression that I got is that because Japanese women are so hyper-sexualized, and are often seen the assertive ones, these men simply don't take an active role in pursuing them or in pursuing a relationship. It's almost as if they do have interest in women, but they have no idea how to express it, and so instead pursue friendships with women that rarely if ever lead to the next step and blossom into full relationships.

    I must say, I am envious of the luck that you have had finding dates! When I tried online dating for about five months on and off, I was not able to go on a single date. There were some girls whom I really liked, but when those girls ignored me, I noticed myself messaging girls that I really didn't have an interest in, just to see if they would respond. By that point, I had to get out of there. Better to be alone than in bad company.

    Also, I am sure there are plenty of beautiful Japanese girls. But you never know what a man finds beautiful. You will find a man that thinks you are beautiful too. Don't give up, and don't settle!

    Luis Hernandez

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    1. Most Japanese had started learning English in Junior High School, but with the recent revamp in their education system, particular with the language development, they ought to learn english as early as grade 3. Still far from expectations but that is already a good deal of change for now.

      With the upcoming Olympics to be hosted by Japan, they are in dire need of eligible English teachers, and had been hiring native/foreign teachers to do it for them. However, what they really need are local teachers who could understand the nature of the conversational english. They don't exist. Japanese people learned English in a grammatical way. I tell you, these people are Grammar Nazis for reals.. but can't use it in speaking.

      I guess, that's were I am losing onto these Japanese guys. I never really am the type who would initiate contact and 2nd dates, since I am accustomed to a culture where girls are meant to be swayed and pursued. I should have been more sensitive about the difference in dating culture. Hahaha... Great input you got there for me!

      Hahaha... I tried settling before, but didn't work for me, so I won't ever do that again. Rather be alone than in bad company as you've said.

      -Meow

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  3. I therefore conclude, mabenta ka sa mga Hapon sa Tinder. Hehehe :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha... Akala mo lang yun....

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  4. I got a taste of that the few times I was there. The Japanese are a curious race. More about this please!

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    Replies
    1. I will try to write more about my observations and cultural comparisons in the coming days... I will try.. Hahaha

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  5. Interesting observation and experience. Would love to read more on this topic.

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    1. Hahaha... Didn't realize this topic would be interesting to others too.. But yes, I will try to do more observations and maybe, date a little more too! LOL.

      Delete
  6. Write more about this. You know na, I am from the love letter at telegramm era pa. This is interesting. Tinder plus dating at in Japan pa.

    ReplyDelete

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