Posts

KDrama Thoughts.

I am one of those who had been hit hard by the drama series: When Life Gives You Tangerines This slice of life K-drama indeed hit a lot of spot in the daily lives.  At one point, it made me think, maybe I am like Ae Sun, a young girl who used to dream big and then life's challenges hit her hard and woke up seeing herself as a wife, a mother of 3, lost one and someone who had given up on her literary dreams over time. Fulfilling her dreams through her daughter and continually loving her husband through thick and thin.  Then, I realized I don't wanna be like that. I don't wanna be someone who outsourced her dreams to the next generation, pretty much like how my own mother had had it.  In the event that I would have my own child soon, I wanna fulfill my own dreams next to them (husband and child). Easier said than done for sure, that's for sure. Twists and turns in life are not new in anyone's life, it is the way of life. Or else, what would it be called? Even the most...

2025.1.8

Im thinking of making a full-on declutter of my stuff. Shredding those more than 5 year-old planners, donating/selling books, throwing stuff that I dont need, junk gadgets and completely letting go of these things aren't supposed to take up space in our house. It will take a while for sure.  I started it last Monday and it is crazy to see why I have to many bags that I don't really use, books and notebooks that I don't write on and I still want to buy some more.  This is what I have been doing lately, just writing and writing and I know that they don't make any sense but I still write them down here.  There are certain feelings I miss to feel and I know that it is also me that can make me feel them: adventure, excitement, beauty, love. The cold weather is unforgiving.  

Dreams

 The other night, I dreamt of my hair becoming beautifully curled and long and I love it so much. I googled the meaning and it says that dreaming of long hair means re-birth and self-discovery. I was so excited for it and just happy. It felt like a tinge of hope that I can still pursue things that I had put on hold for so long now.  Then, the other night I dreamt of meeting my friends and going to work. In the dream, I was so eager to meet my classmates but they were not as excited as I was but in my head I was calculating how much time would I be spending with them so I can still make it on time to work.  I was able to meet them but like I said, they were not that excited to meet me and so I took my leave but in the parking lot, there was car blocking the ramp so I couldn't exit. I tried to push the blockage and so I was deadbeat but I was still able to reach the parking lot and in my head I was calculating the amount of time I have left so I can reach the place in time ...

Friday Morning Thoughts.

A few paragraphs here and there, and a draft has been made. Re-scheduling events has been pushing back the implementation of trainings in the school but I cant help but be also grateful for it coz it gives me time to be able to prepare for it more and more but the pressure it brings is nothings different that it initially gives.  November personal fitness plans hasnt been going as planned. The Wake Up at 5AM Project hasn't been launched with the success rate of 10-10 days of having done it in the month. Well, there are still days for it. Too early to give up on oneself.  This new-but-not-new table I had got is giving me productivity and I love it and grateful for it and I couldn't be more excited for the other things that I will be able to complete with this investment.  Closing in 2024 with forward steps is the goal, and meeting 2025 with more concrete tasks to accomplish is the plan. 

Move It Monday

I did it today :) 

How to Self-Sabotage or Not

If there is one topic I can probably write about so well, but still not with a good outline just yet, it will probably be on the topic of self-sabotage: A Guidebook on How to Self-Sabotage. For the past years since the pandemic ended, I seem to have lost a lot of not all, the joy in exploring, discovering and pushing for writings. A lot of things happened since then, both good and bad and I couldn't be more thankful for finding my person.  Finding and living a life with my person has so far been the highlight of my days. Every day, I am grateful and happy for it. As he works on growing himself in front of me, I felt a bit of shame, telling myself that I used to have the same attitude, what has changed?  The academic struggles seem to have been forgotten, the joy for journaling waded for a bit and it appeared days were always busy when the truth is, it wasn't. It was just passing through like it is supposed to be and I have been losing all the time by staring, scrolling, and sp...

Create(?) (!) (.)

I was so lost at home that I couldnt accomplish anything that D suggested I go and work at my friend’s cafe in the city. True enough, I was able to do things and more. Capped it off with a conversation about creative work with one of the foreign people I know and I am fond of as well. She has been writing and sometimes not writing and I wish I can have the same passion for writing as she has right now. I always tell myself, I wanna be able to write but Im not even writing anything.  So what do I create? I tell her she should just keep writing whatever brain dump she has when I should really be telling and pushing myself to do the same.