4 July 2025

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It is already 4:21 AM and I am still wide awake. I woke up with sweat all over my neck, wanting to pee and can't get over the feeling of heat. Though the AC was in the blast, the electric fan is also blowing. 

I decided to just get up and do stuff on my laptop, most of the things that I had held off within the day because I would rather just do tinkering and cleaning around the house instead of focusing on what I know are also important for me. 

For the next months, the AC will be on blast mode for long hours and hours and as much I am feeling anxious as to where we will be taking the money from to pay for our monthly bills, I know that we will be alright. I am just not used to not being in control and in decision for most of my adult life but for the next few months, it will have to be a different phase and set for me as I enter motherhood and staying home way longer than I am used to. 

As we explore options for the future, I am very much confident that my husband and I will be able to thread it all together, rough at times but we will always just be there for each other. 

The baby in my tummy is just kicking and moving again and again and it makes me happy and excited. But I know, its time to go back to bed. 

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