2014 Yearend Post

I wasn't able to do a decent year-end post. The remaining days of 2014 got me pre-occupied most with not-so productive moments. Resting for most part of it since I had been sick the first few weeks of December. 

I stayed at my place for two consecutive days alone. I thought I will be able to clean but not really, all I did there was lie in my bed, either read or watch something on my laptop. I had planned to make year-end post in my head but the procrastinator in me prevailed until now, a few hours before we welcome 2015, I am collecting my thoughts about how 2014 had gone by. 

The year 2014 had been a year of many surprises. Not so many travels. Many deep realizations. Countless blessings. Getting used to solitude. Tough challenges. 

Topsy turvy.

Looking back to my posts for 2014 will activate a lot of emotions from ups and downs. Maybe that's just how equilibrium works. One can't just be happy at all times. One day, I am so happy, the next day, I feel discouraged. Then, come next day, I am back to the jolly old me. 

No matter how low I had felt, I always try to end things on a positive note. Sometimes, it feels like crazy. No matter how hopeful I am, I remind myself to keep grounded on reality because that's were my sanity is.

I try to remind myself that I should be fearless. However, there were those days that I let fear defeat my desires. For the opportunities I have missed, it was because I was scared. I didn't have much faith. I just give laziness as an excuse but truly, it was really because fear came first.

This blog had been an online diary of how my 2014 had gone. 

As 2014 comes to end, I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to the people who made my 2014 a rollercoaster ride. You had been part of it--physically or virtually, it doesnt matter. As long as you did, thank you. 

The start of the year usually is filled with plans. I ought not to make so many plans this time. For the meantime, I will continue what I am doing to make myself and the people I care for become better and better. 

Eliminating fear or not really, or mostly likely having much more faith that everything will fall in their right places is something I have to prioritize.


The first quarter of 2015 is critical.

Lord, I cast all my cares upon You. 

The Score

Kunwari, may interesadong malaman......... 

Para sa taong 2014, eto ang score ng lovelife ko! Sana next year, hindi naman mag Super Dry!

Risking to Dream

It had always been my dream to be someone who reach out to many people and inspire others. But life had been so challenging that I had made so many wrong decisions in my life and sometimes I really feel that I am way behind my contemporaries and that I am not worthy to talk about how my life had been changed with the way I see things. There were times that envy would overpower my emotions and I would pity myself for being someone way below than I dream of myself. I thought earning a certain amount of money could help me erase that insecurity but it actually lead to deeper insecurities.

Signing up to be a Teaching Fellow was a very big risk—huge pay cut, moving out of a comfortable office, change of working hours and giving up comfortable travels and tours. It was a risk I am thankful I had been very brave enough to take. The two years had been crucial for it made me think of the most important aspects of my life.

Working for this organization helped me fulfill one of my dreams- that is to reach out to kids and make them realize that they can do a lot of things and that they can also dream big. Being with kids also made me dream that I am forever a child. Working with kids always makes me put myself in their shoes every time I try to plan things for them at the same time having a mature attitude on how to deal with mishaps in an out of the classroom.

Joseph the Dreamer is one of the Bible characters I had come to know at a very young age. He had inspired me in a lot of ways and actually made me want to dream of bigger dreams not just for myself, also for the people close to my heart. Just like him, I hope I can always face every unfortunate event with a positive attitude, putting my trust and my all into His Divine intervention.

Working for this organization made me dream BIGGER dreams. Through the people I have been working with, I come to realize that really, anything can happen as long as you have your eyes on the goal and if good working relationship and trust are built. Having a strong support system around had made me stronger and made me confident that I can always go for greater opportunities.

My dream of building a more comfortable house for my family is still there and if plans fall into places, we may even start the construction by 2015. My hopes of traveling around the country and the world never fades, I even have a list of which countries to go to first should I have the chance. Treat my family and friends to hearty meals and movie dates. Buy that bag and shoes without having to worry of the price. Give out gifts and books, tell stories to kids, teach them to sing and make them realize that education can really turn their lives around as long as they persevere.

Whenever I think of my ambitious goals, I am usually taken aback and afraid that I may not be able to reach it. Because I forget that I am not alone. I am surrounded with wonderful people and God is always there to lead the way. So, to not be afraid, I remind myself that God is there to lead my way and that along with me are amazing people to help me through.

Dear Jesus Christ,

They say that you weren't really born on 25th of December. Nonetheless, people had chosen to celebrate Your birthday on that day. I hope you don't mind. We just want to thank You for coming to save us from our sins and from the fires of hell. 

I hope you receive more letter than Santa does. You see, when I was a kid, I used to believe he would really grant my wishes. I would write him a letter only to realize that it should be You that I should have been writing to, not to wish for gifts but to express my gratitude. 

More than two millenia ago, you were born in a manger to later on fulfill the prophecy to die on the cross at Calvary to deliver us from sins. We were told but  most still did not believe. I am grateful that I have come to know. I do believe in You being my Savior and Redeemer. You have been guiding me eversince. 

As time goes by, as the merriment becomes grander, a lot of times we forget the true meaning of Christmas. There are times that I become sad because I don't have fancy stuff for the holidays, I can't afford a sumptuous meal, I can't buy gifts for the people I love. There are also times that I envy people around me for all the good things that they brag about. 

I am sorry if I feel that way at times. If You were here, You probably would have tapped my shoulder and told me that I am far more blessed soul than I had thought of.

Who am I to wish for fancy things, feastive meal or expensive gifts when You, the King of Kings chose to be born in a manger and wrapped in swaddling clothes, then die in a wooden cross. 

You gave Your Life for me. Knowing that Someone chose to die for me is something I should be bragging about. 

From the Lord of all creations, I had received the most precious gift. I quickly forgotten. The Ruler of all nations, saved me. I cannot ask for more. Nothing can be grander of a gift than The Gift of Salvation. 

As I remember that, it gives me comfort eventhough the house I live in with my family is dilapidated, we don't have all the delicious meals in our table, I don't have money to buy those materials things. 

I have a loving and faithful family. You surround me with wonderful people. You shower me with great blessings, most of the time, more than I asked for. Especially on those days when I make full surrender to You. 

So, who am I ask for grandeur when my Saviour chose to be born in humility? I am nothing but a blessed soul. Continue to rule my life for I find peace and comfort in Your presence. 

Your Servant,


I am not yet ready for the year to end. This feeling of not having enough time always makes me feel sorry. Sorry because I feel that I havent done enough. For myself, for my family, for the kids and for my friends. 

The chase with time is an endless chase. But I still dare try to keep up. It can be exciting at times especially if you really love what you are doing and want to get results. There are also those exhausting moments, those days that I just want to get through with or I dont know why I do what I do or my physical body wont cooperate. 

During those exhausting days, I wonder how time looks at me. Does time take pity on me because I still have a lot of things to do but I cant move on anymore? Or is it laughing at me because no matter how I try to keep up I just can't? I can only wonder for I will never know. Time will never tell me it is just there to offer itself. 

Time is just there. No feelings. It has nothing else to offer but itself. 

There are days that I say time is cruel. On days that I fail because I have no time and energy, i blame the cruelty of time. It has no consideration. Had it slowed down, I probably would had done many things. 

If Time can be slowed down so I could keep up, will I take time to stop and smell the roses? Will I be able to realize what's important in my life if I just keep pon moving? Will I take time to say thank you to the people who makes my life worth-living? 

I can never know. 

In the end, no matter how I label time to be cruel and inconsiderate, it ceaselessly gives me another chance. Every day I wake up to a bright new day to continue what were left undone. Finish the unfinished. Live. Appreciate. Be grateful. 

I may not be ready to let go of the year but I have to. I cant do anything about it but I guess, I can do something about how I want my future to be. 

Time, I will never stop trying to keep up with you. So, please do not stop giving me another chances to try. 

Random Thoughts 12.15.2014

1. Sugat na lalamunan.
    Paos na boses
    Pagod na katawan. 
    Hello Antibiotic, antagal na nating hindi nagkita. 

    Ang nega lang diba? Hehehe

    Kasalanan ko din kasi pinagodmuch ko ang sarili ko. 

2. Nung office girl pa ko, sa mga ganitong panahon, nakagawa na siguro ako ng Christmas Wishlist, nakapaglista ng reregaluhan, nagkukumahog mamili ng panregalo, at pang noche buena. Lakad-lakad sa mall. Nakikipagbuno sa Divisoria. 

3. Ngayon, walang ganun. Eto nandito ako sa bahay. Nagpapahinga. Bukas pa lang ako mamimili pero dito na lang sa malapit at hindi ko na din mabibigyan lahat ng nasa listahan.

4. Tatlong stickers na lang ang kelangan ko para makamit ko ang aking planner! Akalain mo yun. Thank you Family and Friends and to Myself! Konti na lang........ 

5. Ang hirap pa rin sagutin nung tanong, "Ano na ang plano mo after March 2015?"

6. Tanggap na ko sa aking dream school for my MA studies! Woohooo!!! Kelangan ko na din maghanap ng sponsors/scholarships. Bakit ako masaya? Eh alam ko namang sakit ng ulo ang mga iyon. LOL. 

7. This year makakasama na ulit ako sa aming Church Cantata. Exciting lang :) 

8. Nae-excite na kong mag-lookback at magsulat about my 2014. It had been a very wonderful year kahit na sobrang nakakapagod. 

9. Kinakabahan ako para sa 2015. Alam kong maraming darating na biyaya at pagpapala pero sana masuklian ko ang mga iyon.

10. Ginawan ako ng Header ni Lalabels, magamit na nga. Thankeee Lalabels... Ayan, black and white ang theme ng aking munting miming house. 

Magpapahinga na ko. Dapat talaga magpapahinga ko eh. Kaso yung tablet kasi, Yung telepono kasi eh. 

Promise, magpapahinga na ko. 
Gusto ko lang talaga may post para sa December :) :) :) :)
Kalahati na ng buwan, wala pa kong kwento eh. Pero yung totoo, marami naman talaga. Di ko lang alam kung san sisimulan.