Dramarama sa Bus Stop

I am an ENTJ. According to MBTI, that's the personality of leaders, CEOs, presidents and a lot of those on top of the foodchain. Pero bakit andito pa rin ako?! #dramaramamuch

I could say that this point in my life is one of my lowest point ever. Losing a job because the immediate boss never liked q because of my inquisitive personality, not because I have a questionable performance. It's painful yet it is bound to happen. 

How much of a loser could I ever get at this point? 

I lost my job.
I am alone. 
I don't know how to start back up. 

I took a week's time to burn my last few bucks and did spontaneous travels to some local destinations to meet people I haven't seen in a long time. I haven't met new people at all. 

I have been applying everywhere and haven't received any calls at all. 

I know that my parents have been trying to reach out on me but I keep running away. My titas had been dropping their suggestions (though really, they think of me of a robot and expect that I do exactly what they say and they get pissed when I dont but still support my plans anyway). Conversations with friends had been limited to me talking and sobbing and talking and more me talking. 

I lost a job I was not happy to do anymore. It made me feel limited to being sort of monetarily abundant but emotionally and physically tired without fulfillment. 

I wanted to be alone but I am really not. I am surrounded with people who see the good in me and yet I let my internal disappoinment eat me from the inside. 

I had started applying but its the waiting that is eating me alive. Waiting together with all uncertainty. Had I applied to another BPO company, I probably would have started by now.

However, at this point in my life, I am gearing towards bigger, better and brighter future goals. Charot! Haha.

I am taking my time in decision-making. I see this stage as my make-or-break point in life. If I do it wrong, I'm bound to suffer, if I do it right, I am bound to prosper. All for the long-term. 

So help me God. 

4 comments:

  1. Trust your struggle Cher Kat :)

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  2. Hindi ko alam Cher Jep. Gusto ko na lang maumay sa pag eemo kong ito pero parang unlo yata ang baon ko?! Hayst.

    Tapos na naman ang CNY kelangan Business As Usual (BAU) na rin ako. Di ko kinakayang wala kong maayos na routine in a day.

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  3. we all went through in this stage... I've been through depression after losing a job too pero God will never fail you.. He has a better plan.. just trust him, go with the flow and everything will fall back to its place! Cheers!

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  4. Salamat Blue! Oo nga eh.. Nakakainip lang din kasi ang walang ginagawa at walang maayos na routine. Hayst.

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