Here comes Tinder.
How it generally works
1. You can log in to Tinder using your Facebook account. I haven’t really checked if there are other options specially for a paid access.
2. It is a must to post a picture of yourself. Whatever the “best” shot of yourself, from 1 up to mostly 6 photos.
3. There is a part where you can put a short description of yourself and who you want to meet.
4. Then you should be connected to internet and give permission for the device to access your GPS location as it will look for matches within a certain range from your current location from 0-125km radius I think for a free access and even for those abroad if you subscribe to the paid one called Tinder Plus.
5. Once matches are located, you will be randomly shown photos of people matching your set search options: Men Searching Men, Men Searching Women, Women Searching Women within a certain age range that you can also change depending on your preference.
6. Once a photo is shown, you have three options: Swipe Left, Swipe Up, Swipe Right
a. Swipe Left means you don’t like the photo shown. (Can’t really say you don’t like the person since you haven’t met them yet, so just the photo)
b. Swipe Right mean you like the photo of the person that was shown.
c. Swipe Up means you Superlike the photo of the person that was shown.
7. If both users like the photos of each other, they will both be notified and that is the only time they can start a conversation. However, if the conversation don’t go well, there is also an option to just Unmatch so that person cannot bother you anymore.
8. With that, Tinder had done it’s job to find you a match and it’s now up to the two of you to make the best out of it.
Thoughts on Tinder
I am not new to online dating.
I met my first boyfriend-turned-ex-boyfriend via online chat. It was more than a year of connection and various messaging apps before he decided to ask if we can meet in person and then everything is now history.
Everyone is just so hooked online and everything can be found online. Yes, even a date-- either you are looking for someone to start a long term connection or just for the sake of killing time. I have tried several online dating websites, a couple of years ago, I had even met my college fling on one of them where he was active. Exchanged a few messages, but no more flame to rekindle.
There are a lot of apps and website to choose from. From free to paid access.
One has to choose a picture of oneself that he/she thinks would make a good impression. One must choose the best photo- flawless and cool because you will be judged initially and solely by the looks. As aligned with Leo Buscaglia’s words from his book Living, Loving and Learning, that everything starts with physical attraction. Since you will be judged by the looks, you will start judging others by the looks as well. As the third law of motion suggests, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Being judged or judging, I really don’t know which comes first. Everything starts with the looks. How you look. How impressive your profile is and then once the conversation starts, next will be the unveiling of intentions.
Once you get a match and there would be a lot, conversations would start. It’s tiring to keep on introducing oneself. That’s what I felt. I felt tired and monotonous. I honestly sometimes just keep on swiping right. There was even a time that I got a warning saying that I ran out of likes and the next time I can swipe right again will be after 12 hours. As the lady in the match, I am not obliged to start a conversation. I would usually reply to those who would send me a message but most of the time, I just forget to do so.
I am tired of dating, in general. I had outgrown the fun of swiping right or left, meeting strangers and having meaningless conversations. I am simply tired. Maybe I was too hopeful with everything and it was the failed expectations that brought me this feeling.
Acquaintance. Dating. Courtship. Getting Steady. Engagement. Marriage. Family.
That was how I see how it should grow. But I seem to have been stuck at Acquaintance for reasons I really can’t pinpoint aside from my being stubborn. I am not even sure if I really know the mechanics of dating at all.