Monthly Suffering

Headache, body ache and how I long to submerge myself in a tub full of warm water but I can coz it's red alert day.
Where is justice? Where is peace?

Tried opening my very first email address and it is still working with more than 10k emails on it. Took me a couple of hours to clean up the inbox. Woohoo. How nice to see a clean inbox and reading old emails to my father and my cousin. I was such a jejemon. Earth, eat me alive.

Almost halfway ready with the materials for a big activity on the 17th. I can't wait for that day to be over. I swore that I won't eat pancakes until that day is over.

To commemorate the Tanabata Story, as a Japanese custom, I asked one of my students to translate my wish to Japanese and write it also in a tanzaku. 

My wish is: That I may always have wisdom in every decision I make. 

I signed it with my name written in Katakana and hung it at the bamboo tree outside our office.

My digital weighing scale is giving me a reading that is 3 kilograms lighter than what I know of my current weight. F&^* you weighing scale! So, even things lie, not just humans. Whatever happened to honesty?! 

I keep buying stuff that I think I would use for studying but I never really sit down and study, instead I keep scrolling in social media. Whatever happened to priorities and responsible adulthood? 

On my last class, the last question for the student was, What is the happiest moment in your life?
She answered that it was the day her son was born. Then, on the Shima no Sensei Jdrama series I am watching, in episode 4, the protagonist also mentioned that the happiest moment of her life was when she gave birth to her daughter in the series. Both are reminders that one of the most significant life in a woman is to become a mother. My biological clock maybe ticking but if ever, will I ever be a good mother?

And I am asking myself about that while I am still suffering with dysmenorrhea and headache.

I tried popping 2 tabs of those OTC meds they have here in Japan, but it didn't have any effect at all.
Then, I remembered that my anti-inflammatory prescription back in PH was already Meloxicam 15mg.

Thank goodness tomorrow is rest day.

365 QOTD
What movie are you looking forward to?

Foreigner. The one with Jackie Chan and Pierce Brosnan on it. 


  1. Reading this made me so weak but the mention of being a mother was powerful enough to make me continue reading, ha,ha,ha. Too much info in one blog post but it is your home, and I am just visiting. Thank you for sharing though. Maybe I should write one re my health condition, ha,ha,ha. I actually told people in school that my days are almost over that is why I am being nice to all.

    You will never know if you will be a good mother until you become one. I have a feeling you will meet someone in there, someone Japanese, and that you will be not just happy, but a great mother as well. There is a reason why we leave our homes and one day, you will also learn the reason.

    1. Someone Japanese? But I am warned about Japanese guys coz they aren't romantic. LOL. Eh busy pa naman ako and I really am not aware if a guy is showing interest already. Sobrang dense ko when it comes to things like getting to know and courtship. HAHAHAHA.

  2. Yccos, there are many people in the world who choose to not have children. They think about how much money they save, they are never inconvenienced with having to take care of a child. They don't have to change diapers, or stay up all night with a crying infant. They roll their eyes at anyone who dares ask, "So, when are you going to have a baby?" They get annoyed at children in restaurants, movie theaters, and airplanes.

    I will never understand those people.

    By the time I was 25, I had reached a point in my life where I felt that there was nothing new under the sun. Movies no longer excited me. Music no longer moved me. I was not inspired to go anywhere or do much of anything anymore. I had my first child when I was 27. It was difficult. I did not know how to care for or feed an infant. My son was a momma's boy. He preferred his mother and would cry incessantly when he was left with me. He also was very allergic to all sorts of things, from milk, to eggs, to pet fur, and peanuts. But, I loved him so much. He is what gave my life purpose. He is what made life worth living. I knew that I could endure any hardship as long as he was in the world. Four years later he was joined by a sister. And even today, they are what keep me going.

    When they are not around, there is a void left behind. When they are with me, everything is right in the world. I highly recommend having children. You will never understand what it is like until you go through with it, and every tough time you have to go through will be worth it in the end, if you did it for them.


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