As of Today

As of today, I have 40php total on my 3 bank accounts, around 800php in cash and 4 weeks away from receiving my first paycheck in my new job. 

I am very far from what I had dreamt of myself when I reach this age. I seem to haven't moved at all. Compared to my contemporaries who had moved up the ladders, migrated somewhere, settled down and made homes.  

It's up and down and up and down then eventually, it will get in steady as I try to remind myself that everything has it's own perfect time. 

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and then breathe out slowly...

As of today, I am on my second week of training for the company I had always wanted to work for. It took me four attempts to get in. And my boss will be the same person who didn't took me in the first time I applied. So, I have this intrinsic motivation that I have to be always at my best. 

As of today, I am officially enrolled to a postgraduate course to that prestigious university I had always wanted to study at. This and a couple of semesters more and I will soon be a graduate of this academe. 

Another reminder from our Sundayfambam lunch conversation, my little sister said, "Ok lang yan Ate, kapit lang. Susweldo ka rin." 

Also, I was able to do a video clip of the Coron getaway I had with Cher Jo and Asiong. Who would have thought I can do something like that? It's not the technical aspect that was challenging but it's the creative part of it. I still have a lot to learn but heck, it was one great thing to learn. 

I got a free buffet dinner at a resto in Makati courtesy of my friends from the previous company I worked with. 

I received many birthday greetings both offline and online. 

If I were on this situation a few years back, with only 800php to get me through until the next payday, I probably would have been worrying on how I would get through the next four weeks. I am worrying but I am more at peace ad confident that this is but a temporary situation. 

This is just but a transition phase to the long-term career path I had decided to thread. I just need to keep reminding myself that I have a loving and supportive family behind me, friends who would never leave me behind and would understand, an opportunity to learn and study and a faithful God who never gets tired of showering me with surprises- great and small. 

From being a chronic worrier and a failure to being nothing but a blessed soul. 

Everything has it's own perfect time. All I can do for now is wait. But I am not waiting idly. As I do that, let me appreciate every thing and person that come my way. Embrace sadness. Free myself of hatred and envy. Let my fears be the springboard for my courage fuelled by my faith. 

Cheers to life!