13 Sept 2022

"... ako naman yung safe place mo." 

This person is leaving me speechless again and again. I would like to think that was quite a bold offer. To feel adequate enough to offer oneself as comfort for another person, I don't know where he gets the courage to speak it out loud. After all, the only thing we can offer the world or another person, is ourselves, might as well be bold and brave and hopefully committed to it. 

As we take a walk after a long tiring day at work, then sat down by the river bay with convenience store food, asked about each other's days and just sat there quiet, in my head, I have been composing about an essay of how I was feeling that time. 

The full moon lit up the sky and its reflection is on the flowing river, a long stick of white light cutting the water in the middle as it glitters back the light and reflects on the surface, it was calm and peaceful. 

The kind of calm and peace that you wish would never end. That kind where there was no fear of losing it anytime soon and hoping for more. It was enough. You sat there, you smile at each other, throw jokes, talk about life, family and all the deep talk that you are used to wish you would have. 

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As I prepare for my upcoming trip, I can't help but be overwhelmed about the things that I still have to accomplish. I am excited and yet, I am also hoping for it all to finish soon so I can come back in his arms,  have those evening walks, bid each other good night and pretend as if there that is no sexual tension that we have been trying to suppress just because we vowed to take things slow, by which honestly, our definition of slow relatively wouldn't pass the standards of slow dating and getting to know each other.