7 Sept 2022

-

 Thought I'll do some scattered brain spill tonight. 

After a very calm date night by the river under a waxing gibbous moon and a before bedtime conversation with the family. 

As of now, the only reason I am online is for this blog entry and restraining myself to open my social media accounts to check on messages. 

I told my mom that I might have a boyfriend soon but I am not sure. Her response was: 

"Ikaw bahala, ikaw naman makikisama dyan, habang buhay." 

"Ma, nakakatakot naman yang sagot mo, boyfriend lang naman to." 

But it dawned on me also that her statement is kinda true. As commented by my youngest sister, I am not getting any younger and what else is there to do, but to invest feelings on someone that would be for a lifetime partnership. 

I don't know how to describe this feeling and experience but if I would take a look back, this kind of encounter is what I dreamed of. 

I dreamed of a man who would have that sense of humor to keep up with my sarcasm. 

I dreamed of a man who would take time to listen to me.

As for patience and understanding, it is still something to be tested, as I totally unfold my mood swings and unbarred words and banter. 

I dreamed of a man who would admire me as I am and just make me feel so pretty from head to foot despite all my imperfections and insecurities. 

I dreamed of this day and this kind of man to come into my life and now as it feels like it is slowly unfolding in front of me, I am overwhelmed to the point that I am seeing things as too good to be true and it scares me and it overpowers that excitement of knowing what lies ahead with the two of us together if this is all indeed just true as it is meant to be. 

They said that brave people aren't really fearless ones, they are those people who still do things they fear of, ... they do it scared of it and then that's when the best of them comes out of it all. 

Day 3 on my period and this is where my overthinking brain had taken me. 

For one, I wasn't even formally asked for anything and here is my brain calculating on what could be a perfect day that would make it all official, then realizing that isn't even my job. My job here is to be just the awesome me. Haha. 

I should get to bed now. I wanted to read that new book by George R.R. Martin and thank goodness that my ebook is battery drained and needed to be charged. I am sticking to my Japanese anthology for tonight. 

Good night, Moon. I am excited to see you in full moon state. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Feel free to comment :)

Popular posts from this blog

The Man Behind the Metaphors

-
Image
The skies had been dark like a storm is coming. It had been raining the whole night long and when I woke up that day, I had fears that Sir Jonathan can’t come to school anymore due to the heavy downpour. I opted not to ask for I may just get the dreaded response. I prepared for school. Ate breakfast, brought my laptop since I thought I may just have to stop by a coffee shop after school and finish the item analysis I am doing. It was very difficult to get a ride. I wish I can afford to buy a car and save myself and my stuff from getting wet and so that I can bring more things to school for experiments and so that I can to all the places I wanna go to and I don’t have to worry about over-packing stuff and I have thought about all of these just because its raining heavily and I have no school bus anymore L When I arrived, the school seem deserted. No kids nor parents were at the gate. The guard told me that the principal decided to suspend the class lest the heavy rains cou...
Read more

11 Things I Will Miss

-
Malapit na malapit na! Magpapaalam na ko sa pagkabampira. Ang pinakaunang kong career ay nagsimula sa BPO hanggang sa napadpad na ko sa mga “captive sites” companies, at hindi ko ipagkakaila ang malaking pasasalamat ko sa   pagkakataong naibigay sakin sa loob nang mahigit anim na taon. Marami akong natutunan, maraming nais kalimutan at syempre mas marami yung nais kong manatili lalo na yung pagkakaibigan at mga aral sa buhay na nabuo habang ako'y nasa trabaho at nakikisalamuha. Dahil ako ay magbabagong-buhay, nag-isip ako ng mga bagay na talaga namang mamimiss ko pag umalis ako sa pagka nocturnal being. 1. Airconditioned Office - Ang init ngayon! Obvious naman, ang mga callcenters/corporate centers ay may aircons, may alam ba kayong hindi? Ipagbigay alam sa kinauukulan.  2. Ergonomic Chair - na most of the time ay ergonomic bed na din. Natuto akong matulog nang nakaupo.--those split-second moments of opportunity para makadaupang-palad si Sleep.  3....
Read more

May Nag-Reply!

-
Just a few days ago, I posted   This Is Plagiarism   together with other write ups. And I never thought I would have this kind of Reply from   Mr. Tripster   J   who called himself   The Epaloid Lover na Feeling Ako Yung Sinulatan Here’s the entire comment: Mr. Tripster 14 March 2013 08:39 This is epalness.... Hi! I'm fine. It's really great to hear from you. I'm not trapped in the future, I do not dwell in the past. I'm simply in your dreams. You have difficulty finding me because you sometimes look in the wrong places and in the wrong moments of the day. Therefore, I cannot manifest in your world. My present is a blur and yet it's blissful. But everything will be clear if we both make a decisive choice and a giant leap of faith in our lives. How soon? I really don't know. We don't ask silly questions. It's just that sometimes we need wisdom. I'd like to be there now. But I'm no master of my time. I'm n...
Read more