Dreams

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 The other night, I dreamt of my hair becoming beautifully curled and long and I love it so much. I googled the meaning and it says that dreaming of long hair means re-birth and self-discovery. I was so excited for it and just happy. It felt like a tinge of hope that I can still pursue things that I had put on hold for so long now. 

Then, the other night I dreamt of meeting my friends and going to work. In the dream, I was so eager to meet my classmates but they were not as excited as I was but in my head I was calculating how much time would I be spending with them so I can still make it on time to work. 

I was able to meet them but like I said, they were not that excited to meet me and so I took my leave but in the parking lot, there was car blocking the ramp so I couldn't exit. I tried to push the blockage and so I was deadbeat but I was still able to reach the parking lot and in my head I was calculating the amount of time I have left so I can reach the place in time for my class. Simultaneous with that, I was also debating with myself if I should call the office and tell them that I may be late but I can reach the place in time for the lesson itself. At the end of the dream, I saw myself being so lost, I came into a room but it appeared to be a function hall for something else, I pressed buttons on the elevator but it wasnt opening. There were bright lights and I didn't know if I got to my classrooom at all, or if I called the office or if I just sat down and I cried. 

It was such an open ending and I couldn't wrap my head around it just yet but I know that the idea of blockage and being late has something to do with the anxiety that I feel for being so left behind in life in general. 

I woke up this morning and tried to get up as I woke up but I still spent a few minutes laying back in bed. So bad. Very bad but I got up, re-filled and turned on the kettle for hot water and on with the checking of items online but still it was lacking. 

I don't know what to make up of it, but let me go about my day and pick up myself again and move forward, upward. 

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