False Positive Results.

There so much violence going in the Philippines and I am just a bystander, watching from afar. It's frustrating, sorrowful and worrisome.

I fear not for myself but for members of my family who might become sudden targets of this "war on drugs". Just recently, a 17- year old boy was killed by two policemen accusing him of being a drug runner together with other members of his family in Caloocan City.

Then, today, my fellow alumni from Teach for the Phils. just informed me that there are a lot of tagging and forced drug tests in the community where we used to teach last 2013-2015. Most of the tests coming out as "false positive". Then, while we were just chatting, one of her students posted a status about gun shooting in the same area.

I simply lost my grip to keep calm for the remaining hours at work.

I worry because, the community my family lives in right now is not different from where the young boy was killed and where the gun shooting happened. We are not rich who can afford to live on exclusive villages and be able to sleep soundly at night. I worry not because any of my family is guilty of anything, but because, even the innocent ones are targeted.

Never had I thought before that I will live in a period in time full of fear and social unrest. This current administration had never gotten my approval, but never had I imagined that it will go beyond it's promise just to stay in power. My recent readings in Machiavelli, Nietshzche, Marx and Sigmund Freud are like words coming into life in different aspects of life in Manila.

The only contribution I can offer is just to formulate survey questions for our former co-teachers in the community so we can gather data and interpret it, and maybe, be able to use connections so we can take actions, in our own little way. But I can't even think straight or can't figure out where to begin with everything without compromising the safety of everyone who will get involved. I feel like I am in sort of tv drama with so many twists and turns and deaths to come.

I need to take a deep breath and a good sleep.
Sleep-- something so precious and I can't even get it straight lately.
Help me God.