Perception.

8:03PM
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I told myself that I will complete all the 9 Lesson Plans today. But I was only able to complete 4 days of it. It should have been 5 but I had accidentally had overwritten the 4th with the 5th. I  should have clicked on Save As and not Save. Absent-minded me. The 20 LPs are due on Friday to be used by the candidates on training next month. Lucky them, we are here to make these for them. During our time, as the pioneer batch, we did everything on our own. LPs, visuals, and no one is there to give up tips on how to execute it since the supervisors lacked the experience. They were all from private sector before deciding to move to this NGO. I am not complaining. I am just saying that they are lucky ones. I am happy for them and for this organization as things are getting better and better in terms of workflow and workload.

I jogged early this morning. I did two rounds on the oval today and 20 crunches. I hope to make that 50 tomorrow and 100 next time. Hurray to that! It's my second day of doing so and it feels good!

We all choose people we trust and whom we spill all the beans, I mean totally spill all the beans. Tonight, I chose to spill it out on my housemate. He knew that I had been down lately.

I was looking at the plaque given to me during the Recognition Day, I told him, "Grabe, nakita pa talaga ni Sofia yun, eh nilagay ko na nga lang dyan para hindi obvious.".

"Sa totoo lang, I don't feel worth it. Buti na lang talaga na-inspire sila. Yung mga college classmates ko, tapos na sila ng MA studies and I am not even halfway with mine."

"Alam mo Kat, I stopped counting mine. There was this time that I was comparing myself to this classmate of mine na laging nagta-travel abroad, pero I just decided not to compare myself." This came from from somebody who graduated Magna Cum Laude from the most prestigious university in the country. Who can have all the better opportunities but had given it all up to teach. Had given up a job that gave him the chance to go around the country and probably, would have been given the chance to represent our country in international conferences.

"Minsan kasi, I really can't help but compare myself to them. Aminin mo, ikaw din." Hirit ko.

"Basta, pagdating ng panahon, makita ko yung mga estudyante kong maayos ang buhay, dun ko na talaga mararamdaman ang success ko."

"God works in mysterious ways talaga, you know the story of the two carrots?"

"Hindi." Sabi ko.

"Yung isang carrot, konti lang yung dahon, pero yung bunga sa ilalim, malaki, tapos yung isa, mayabong ang dahon, pero yung carrot mismo, maliit lang."

Which carrot would I choose to be? Of course, the one with the not so thick leaves but with big carrots down below which means, it had grown on it's purpose. We take benefit from the crop not the leaves, right?

Another conversation I had with one of the first people I met in this job.
"Anong plans mo ba after this? Will you teach for good na?
"Oo naman. Hindi ko lang alam kung dito or somewhere else. Ang gusto ko lang yumaman. Hehehe"
"Alam mo when I decided to teach. Narealize kong hindi talaga ko yayaman, kelangan ko talaga ng iba pang raket para maka-survive."
"Ayun na nga eh."

Last Friday, I received this message from a parent:

As I have mentioned, I was not yet ready to let go because I felt like I haven't really given those kids enough of what they should really learn. But receiving this message, made me feel wonderful. Plus, she came to school to pick up her daughter's card and gave me ice cream! I'm a happy kid :)

Today, I got this comment:

I could't agree more. If it's possible to put unlimited Like on that comment, I would!

I feel a little bit better now. I just need to come home to feel better-er. Haha. If there is such a word. I didn't eat ice cream today. I had iced coffee. I made it myself.

Soulpancake, iced coffee, new books to read courtesy of my housemate, a family waiting for me to come home, what more can I ask for. I should really get my **** together-- now, I'm telling that to myself because my bestfriend is not here to remind me. September is still away. I still have a few months of organized schedule, because once he is back home, it's gonna be like this: "Dudie, where are you? Change clothes na. I'll pick you up in 30 minutes. Let's drink." But since we are getting older, and way past the boy-hunting stage of my life, as I had decided "the one" should come find me, it's gonna be two-bottles nights and coffee to cap the night.

For now, let me finish all these 20 LPs. Then on Friday, I will go back to the first LP I had known together with the other fellows-- LOADING POINT Bar and Resto in Xavierville Ave., Katips.

Hello April. You will be an awesome month. I promise.

8:57PM