Death by Toe Nail

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I don't know how I survived today.

I've murdered my right big toe and that had been aggravated by my recent trips and long walks the past few weeks.

The self-medicating me thought of just taking this up to my own hands. So, blood started coming out of the broken skin, like a flowing river. I keep patting cotton on it, but it just won't stop. The sight of the red liquid gushing out of the side of my nail was making me dizzy.

I could also feel my chest tightening and I was already having a hard time breathing.

"It's all in the mind. Keep pressing on to the cotton, Kat. It's all in the mind."

I keep telling myself.

Deep breaths.
Hard eye shuts.
More deep breaths.

I have to keep moving. I have to go to work and I have tasks to finish.

I should have just gone to the doctor. That should have fixed everything, but I didn't.

Tomorrow, I still won't go to the doctor.
I will still endure the pain and when it is a bit better, I will try to poke on it again.

Stupid. I know.

I'm still alive.
Tomorrow, I will still be alive and hopefully, I will have the time courage to go to the doctor.

If I die, I will probably die due to blood loss because of over-poking an injured right big toe. GROSS.
What a way to end a life.

Please pray for my toe.

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