Brain Red Alert Feb 2020 Version

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I knew it will be chilly outside. So after the gym class, I hurriedly changed clothes and headed out. I was prepared for the cold but not for the drizzles. I suddenly felt pity for myself and started fighting back the tears that had been wanting to roll down my cheeks earlier today.

I suddenly felt the need to move out of Miyazaki but I am not sure where to start at all. To start with, I need to pinpoint why I am feeling this way, what factors are in play and how to calm them down just to make sure that my decision-making isn't based on the inner emotional somersault that I am battling with on a regular basis.

I always tell myself, "If it is time to go, it is time to go."

I always pray to God, "To give me the wisdom, for His discernment and guidance."

I always tell myself, "Just keep doing what is right at the moment and something that won't harm others in any way."

Am I a functional depressed person? Or am I just seeking attention?

As I take note of the people whom I sent messages about what I am going through today, I couldn't think of a better answer than, maybe, I am seeking attention. I want someone to notice me and acknowledge that I am having a weak moment of my day. I am asking for that conversation that "peptalk" that in the end, I gave it to myself. Because, given all these challenges, I know that I am still at a better situation than what others have to battle with every day.

I am going to bed tonight, knowing that I am loved and that I have a purpose.

But I definitely could use a hug right now. Or maybe hundreds of it.

Brain regla is a tough battle.

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