Life of a Kat

Im suddenly losing hope for myself. The past 2nd and ongoing 3rd week are quite rough for me. I wasn't able to teach my kids. I don't even know where to start should I enlist them. I dont even want to think of all those moments. Today, I had taught for 10 minutes, then I stopped and just stared at all of them. Boys at the back were just so unruly. Wont listen to me, I would drag them back to their seats, but in a few minutes they are standing again and going around the room, outside the classroom and just making noise. Girls on their seats are fighting each other. They cant read. They dont know how to write. But I have to teach them Science. I am frustrated just like them. Tomorrow, I will start my afterclass Reading Remedial Sessions with them. They are actually more excited for it than our lesson. These kids were promoted to grade three without even knowing how to read nor write their names. Phonics recognition is very low. Mastery of mother tongue is also v...

I actually don’t know how to describe how I feel at this moment.  As of this writing, I had completed seven days of being a public school teacher.   Tomorrow, there’s no class since it’s the annual celebration of the Philippine Independence Day. It was said that teaching has four stages. Fantasy. Survival. Mastery. Impact. My decision to join this team is a clear indication that I had gone through the Fantasy Stage. The trainings, inspiring speeches, seminars, luncheons with great leaders and prominent advocates of social change had thoroughly boosted my spirits that I can make a difference. I can leave my mark. Until the first day of school came. June 3 rd . I was dead tired the night before- moved out of the dorm, moved in to the new house, mom had to rush my uniform, prepared materials for the next day’s early morning shift. Yes, I chose to be on the AM shift-Monday to Friday, from 6:00-12:10 PM. Presenting my big goal to the children had been very gre...

Amidst all the deadlines and paperwork in front of me, I would like to take this time to let it sink into me that someone is leaving and we just had said our goodbyes. We’ve known each other only for two months but the bonds we had formed are undeniably that of a family.  I’ve known him as the tall, thin guy with a very low and thick voice. As the coordinator, he usually is the first person you will see in the morning, writing announcements on the whiteboard, and distributing stuff, making us fall in line to ride the school service at exactly 7:30AM for us not to be late for our 8AM class. He is also a Bicolano, his family lives in Iriga City. He also graduated Summa Cum Laude. I remember one instance, we were all so tired and drained after a day’s teaching for Summer Class in the morning and workshops in the afternoon, he was still all perky and happy that he is. He had never let our negative vibes got into him. He continued with his tasks, alert and positive at all ...

May 21, 2013 Dear Kat, How are you doing today? Do you remember the day that you wrote this letter? It is May 21, 2013 in CBTL Convergys at Ayala Avenue, Makati City, around 7pm. You were waiting for 9pm to hit, waiting for your former boss to sign your clearance for you to be able to get your final pay and start paying debts. Can you still remember why you resigned? Oh I sure know you do! You are reading this letter two years later. Quite a drama but Yes, you are to receive this two years after your fellowship with Teach for the Philippines culminates. Thank God, for you are alive and thank goodness you survived every bit of a challenge. I can imagine, you are starting to be teary-eyed as you read on. Probably laughing at the same time as you continue reading this.  It all started on a twitter hashtag, remember? You are a symbol of how powerful social media is as an avenue for advocacy, information dissemination and social change. You signed up, prayed every day...

I always look forward to this moment that I can just sit in front of my computer and begin typing away my thoughts. It had been awhile that I had reflected on my life. I had been too absorbed by many things that I had simply forgotten to ponder on all of them.  I am currently completing Summer Institute, a two-month program designed to prepare me not just an ordinary teacher, but a transformational teacher. Quite ambitious dare I say. Yes, it is. I am part of a bunch of people who dreams of building a nation of excellence, where no one is left behind.   As I look back on that moment of deciding if this is a job for me, I had set aside that main point of the organization- the social change advocacy-equality in education and opportunity. Makes me think, what am I doing here? I just wanted to be a teacher. Doubts had filled me in if I really can fulfill the bestowed task of transformation. I will not be able to see it soon. As challenge by Wendy Kopp, the CEO of Teach for...

Marami akong gustong sabihin sayo pero hindi ko alam kung san ko sisimulan. Pano nga ba? I thought we have something going on. I thought so and I am sorry if I had assumed it wrong. Magkaibigan nga pala tayo.  Akala ko lang talaga, we are gearing towards being more than friends. Magkaibigan nga pala tayo.  Paasa ka, o ako lang talaga ang tangang umasa sa wala? *Deep sigh* I wish you all the happiness. Sa sobrang dami sana nang sasabihin ko sayo, eto na lang nasambit ko, anyway yan naman talaga ang pinakagusto kong sabihin sayo. I hate you.

There’s Hope India Arie I thought that I needed a lot A little was over rated, but a lot was a little too complicated You see-Zero didn't satisfy me A million didn't make me happy That's when I learned a lesson That it's all about your perception Hey-are you a pauper or a superstar So you act, so you feel, so you are It ain't about the size of your car It's about the size of the faith in your heart [Chorus:] There's hope It doesn't cost a thing to smile You don't have to pay to laugh You better thank God for that [repeat] There's hope [Verse 2:] Off in the back country of Brazil A met a young brother that made me feel That I could accomplish anything. You see just like me he wanted to sing He had no windows and no doors He lived a simple life and was extremely poor On top of all of that he had no eye sight, but that didn't keep him from seein' the light He said, what's it like in the USA, and al...