forgive me my little space...

-
Two weeks had passed since graduate school had resumed. I thought I would never make the shift but here I am again.

Shifting to MA in Language and Literacy Education was a logical idea since I am in a field that is very related to language education and I can say, that is the career I would grow old on.

Two weeks since I started burying myself into the books again, struggling with scheduling regular chores and work. Aside from the time and priorities, it is the focus that I am struggling with. My days had been like this:

7AM Wakes up from bed straight to the laptop to read and take down notes from wherever I had left off from last night. Reads the news, checks emails, and yawns. Tries to go back to studying.

Checking the phone in between readings and note-taking, until the phone scrolling swallows me whole and I lost all the focus for the morning.

9AM makes breakfast and scrolls on youtube for whatever subject of documentary that would catch my interest for the next 1.5 hours while I move around the house.

10:30AM preps for work, packs obento. In my head, I am also calculating if I can do quick study while in school or if I should bring my laptop and go to McDo where I will study for the night.

Then work goes on.

I just realized that for the past few days, I haven't had any decent dinner at all. Either I grab some McNuggets or burger or fries! So unhealthy. So expensive too!

But at McDo since it is a public place, I seem to be able to focus far more longer than when I am at home where I can just get easily distracted and too comfortable. Plus, I think, the audience effect also works on me.

I still have a lot to read and learn from the bottom.

I have a lot of things I want to achieve apart from this academic title and honestly, I want to have a boyfriend, but at this kind of situation I have, and the place where I am, it is a struggle even just to make friends, moreso maintain a relationship. So, forgive me my little space, there will be more rants about being lonely and frustrated. But definitely there will be stories of little success about my little attempts to improve myself, investments, life abroad, side trips and spontaneous thoughts.

Comments

  1. Rix28 August 2017 at 11:17

    Ang ethnic ang sched mo... I mean hectic pala charot!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Feel free to comment :)

Popular posts from this blog

It's her time to go.

-
It's her time to go. I keep telling myself. Today, my former co-worker, E had already left for Hiroshima. She quit the company we used to both work for and had decided to find another job in another place for several reasons. I was hoping to see her before she leaves just so I can also thank her personally and wish her well on her way. I know it would have been emotional and wacky at the same time. She told me that she had intended not to see me because she is avoiding the emotional breakdown that may arise as she leaves the city. She has been crying all week-long, she said. I sent her a message telling her that another co-worker is set to resign and that I had decided to take a holiday flight back home at the end of December and be back on New Year's Eve in Miyazaki. I will be spending the last day of 2018 enroute back to Japan and welcoming 2019, either in a bus enroute to Miyazaki or in a capsule hotel in Fukuoka. Just because with the sudden changes, I may have di
Read more

11 Sept 2023

-
​I weighed in and I’m at 55kgs today. I need to lose 7kgs to get down to my ideal weight.  I am filled with so much frustration right now about myself. I was able to reach it for 2 years and here I am falling out from it.  I am not sure which one I got so much high from, was the journey of being fit or being fit in itself. I remember telling myself that exercising and working out and seeing results of weight loss can bring a different kind of high, it’s addicting like everything else coz once you have somewhat reached a peak level of fitness in comparison to the previous self, it brings so much joy and confidence like never before. And I even told myself before, “If being fit is a form of addiction, this is the kind of addiction I would like to get stuck with for life.” I used to be the only one posting and sharing my fitness journey, now almost everyone who just used to message me about working out and weight loss, they are on the peak of achievement of their body goals.  It is so fru
Read more

29 Sept 2023

-
 Second to the last day of the 9th month of the year. then, 3 more months to call it a wrap for this month.  If my life will be a content that I will curate a story from, I wonder how it will all turn out? Will it be a story people will be willing to pay for? Will it be a story I am willing to share to the world?  Am I willing to share my flaws? My bads?  Of course I am excited to tell the world my triumphs, my inspirations, my dreams, ..... my journey.  But it isn't easy. Even here, sometimes, writing can be very painful. Most of the time, I am just lazy to move and write. 
Read more