Rainy Thoughts

The rain hasn't stopped since Saturday. My prayer for a good weather last Saturday did not come true. It's ok though. I had a great day anyway.

It's felt good to catch up with my co-fellows in the office. Sharing our experience and stories with our kids—funny ones, heartbreaking and most of all, those that give us spark every now and then. Those stories that convince us that we really are doing something good. It felt good to celebrate a part of my birthday with these amazing people who had set aside far more promising job offers and decided to teach for two years. A few of us most likely will stay in service and stay in public schools as teachers, others as policy makers and others will move to other jobs.

We had always been asking one another as to what are our plans after this two year fellowship. My veteran co-teachers keep advising me to stay and apply for an item in the DepEd. Since I am a LET passer, getting an item in a school anywhere I choose will not be hard. I just smile and nod my head so as not to disappoint anyone.

After the two-year fellowship, I hope to work somewhere else. Abroad maybe. I had always wanted a better house for my family. The house we are living in right now is already in a dilapidated state. I don’t want to blame my parents for failing to give us a better roof over our heads. They had always been responsible. My father just really have something else in mind and love helping relatives to the point that we have to give way and forget our own needs—saying that the house can wait, but the lives of others can’t.

My eagerness to work abroad to earn more had been intensified by this torrential rains. I need to work on building a better home for my family. Every time this happens, we move to my uncle’s place in a higher ground which also happens to be my second home already. I stay there most of the time.

My parents are growing old. Time will come that they will have difficulty moving and going around. I need to work on building a house for them that will keep them secure and safe. And maybe, in time, it will be us who will shelter those who would need shelters during bad times like this.

For now, I pray for the rains to stop. That our house stays intact. That our other three cats are safe, too. When they moved, they brought with them our favorite cat, Jude. The rest were left behind. They are more used to this kind of weather. They know how to survive while Jude’s first disaster was during the Habagat rains last year and he had to sleep in my youngest sister’s arms for safety.

I also have difficulty sleeping with this kind of weather. Others treat this as bed weather, I used to but since Reming hit Legazpi City way back in 2006, I had been sleeping very lightly if the weather is like this. Feeling the heaviness of the rain. Listening to any signs or sounds of landslides. I barely watch or read the news. Earlier today, I screamed because of lightning and the sound of the thunder. My housemates were shocked. If I can sleep tonight, I don’t know. Maybe just like last night, I need to pop a pill.