While I am Waiting

8:37

Last night, I had finished reading again The Time Keeper by Mitch Albom, I read it again because, I feel the need to read it again. I’m glad I did.

I had always complained about the lack of time in everything I do. In everything I want to achieve. The more I take a look at time, the more I get frustrated with my life. Just like the two main characters in the book, Victor and Sarah, I complain about time. Why is too short. Why is it too fast. There are days that I wish I can stop time and rest for awhile and wake up with renewed strength and resume where I stopped without worrying about losing the time or there are moments that I feel like I don’t deserve the time and I wish I could just stop living. Especially on not-so-good days.

For the past few weeks, I had decided to focus on what I have and what I could do. Doing a checklist really made a great help in making things possible for me. My planner had become more functional this time. Not just a notebook to record everyone’s birthday, not just for meetings, but really did became a planner.

I plan my meals for the entire week, budget my allowance and had been doing a more responsible grocery shopping. Made a daily checklist of things to do and to buy. Checking those I had done. Not doing anything to those I had seemed to forgot. Waking up at 4am still seem to be a very heavy task but since I really wanna make this work for myself, I extended the wake up hour to 4:10 am. Because I still need to prepare my breakfast and baon which are both very essential to sustain me throughout the day. It is never easy to deal with more or less 350 kids in a day. Around 60 kids per class. 40 minutes per subject. I wonder what’s with this year’s batch. They are all so talkative! They also have this dementor-like power of draining me of my energy everytime I come to their class. Later on, I realized, the kids are just replicating the energy that I give out inside their classroom. So, I learned that even if they are so rowdy and so “kulit” inside, I need to keep this calm demeanor once I am in front of them. Because if I put my “Umbridge” face, they seem to revolt more. So, I put my more cute miming teacher look and they get calm. Hay, kiddies, you make me crazy!

Classroom situations are far more manageable this year. I had come to accept the reality that they are kids. I just have to discover the ways to appease them and to teach them. Of course, teach them to love learning in general because I can only be with them this year.

I had decided to take each day, one day at a time. I had stopped from thinking so much about the future yet I had been thinking of ways on how to get me to the future I want.

I am looking forward to that MBTI Career Personality test we will be taking soon and the career counseling sessions and eventually the mentoring.

I make it a point to go home every weekend, even just for a day. Being around my family lets me gain back the sanity I seem to lose every weekdays.

I also make it a point that before I leave for school, my bed is all made up. Lying in my bed is something I always look forward to every day. Hehehe. Especially  during those not-so-awesome days. It feels good to go home to a fixed bed and ready to be rolled on. With Tidibur,and Hello Kitkit waiting to be hugged too!

One Conversation with a Friend:

Me: I think I need a new comforter. I just want a new one.
Friend: Hindi, bumili ka ng boyfriend.

(San nanggaling yun?)

There is no way I would buy a boyfriend! Lol!
I should be the one singing “If You Can Afford Me” by Katy Perry!

Time. So precious. There is no turning back.
Focus on today. It will show me what to do with tomorrow. It will lead me to paths to who I will become. It will show me the road leading to many people. Waiting doesn’t have to be painful and full of pressure. It can also be productive and full of appreciation. I’m glad, I realized that now, while I am waiting.

I’m glad I re-read the book and dropped All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten for the meantime. 

9:09