Did you do more talking or listening today?

365 QOTD

Did you do more talking or listening today?

I hope I did more listening today.

Today was a rare occasion that I initiated the video conference with my siblings. It is usually them who call me. Also, most of the time, I talk to my mom and my 2 younger sister. I rarely get the chance to talk to Doydoy in a separate occasion.

Tonight, since Bebs was at work and Nali was probably still on the way home from school, Doydoy and I got to talk. I asked him how he is and how is his review days going. He said he needs a camera phone, a good one. He was using my older brother’s iPhone but when he connected it to his laptop, it reset, losing all his photos of the solutions he captured for the past few months of reviewing. He said he was able to revive half of it, but the rest were nowhere to be retrieved. Then, he asked if he can get a loan from me, I asked why. He said he needs a good phone, I said, I can give him money to buy phone and he doesn't need to pay me back. After all, I actually plan to give him my new phone when I come home in December. I told him, I will double his allowance and he doesn't need to pay me back for it.

                  Then out of the blue he asked “Pano maging successful Ate? Bakit ikaw, kapag may gusto ka, na-aachieve mo kagad? Eh ako, ang tagal nang panahon, di pa rin ako makatapos dito. Akala ko yung Accountancy, matipid na course, pero ngayon, andami ko nang gastos. Kinakabahan pa kong baka di ako makapasa ngayon.”

                  I actually don’t know how to answer that. I never realized that he sees me as someone successful when I, myself, still feel that I am a long way to go from what I really want for my family and myself. Then, I told him, “Bat naman hindi ka papasa? Dahil lang wala kang magandang camphone? Excuse na lang yan. Wag kang ganyan. Naniniwala kami sayong makakapasa ka, kaya believe in yourself. Kapag hindi ka naman nakapasa agad, eh di re-take pa rin kung gusto mo pa. Ganun lang yun. Tulungan lang tayo.”

                  I told him, I owe him. Because when we were younger, he had to sacrifice his own future to work and send money for my college allowance and that delayed him from getting a bachelor degree sooner. And now, if there is a way to give him whatever he needs, I would gladly do so.

                  I told him to enroll in a gym coz he is really fat and the idle days at home are making him think unnecessary thoughts. Funny how he put value to his belly fat. He said, “Pinangarap ko kaya to. Ang payat-payat ko dati diba? Ngayon, sumobra naman.”

                  Maybe, I still did a lot of talking today, and I hope I had said the right words. If there is one thing good that moving overseas did to me, it is that I had grown closer to my siblings and that no amount of sadness and homesickness can make me regret my decisions coz I know that I have a wonderful family worth sacrificing for.