Abrupt or Slow Detachment

I had finally deactivated my Facebook today. I thought I had done it yesterday, but upon checking, I was still online and apparently, receiving comments and notices on my posts. 

I know what I want to achieve in this time of my life, but my actions are not aligned with it and I have been denying and ignoring everything, blaming the pandemic for the kind of feeling that have been nursing for weeks now. 

I am feeling immobility, dragging myself to even do the routinary tasks. There were even moments that I wish I could just curl up in bed and just stay there until the world ends. I haven't opened my python programming book for more than a week now and probably, my friend has been panicking because I haven't been making any good progress in it. 

I need to get going with all of these. I need to re-create my flow. I am thinking of re-designing my room, but I just cant think of a way on how to clean up the clutter. My brain is screaming for orderliness in everything. The clothes, the hair strands on the floor, boxes here and there. I just can't seem to find order. 

I feel exhausted even though the only thing I had done was scroll up and down my phone. I had picked up my phone a few more times before even finishing this journal entry. 

I have been making so much plans in my head about many many things but I could not find the energy to start with anything. 

Looks like getting a full deactivation of that social media website was a good start. I still have most of them active, but not really that active. 

My twitter is where I fart most of my senseless thoughts, on my Instagram, that's where I have most of my stories and where I have been communicating with a very few significant people, and some not-so significant ones. LOL. 

Getting there, getting there. 

Tomorrow is Monday, and so, it will be a good start. I hope.