Life of a Kat

 My daily bedtime is at usually at half past midnight and wake up alarm is at half past seven in the morning. That was the usual. If not from a call from a friend from the other side of the world for early morning sessions of school modules for our NGO school in PH, my alarm of humming and chirping birds would slowly wake me up. That was the usual case today. I don't really hit the snooze, I just click on the stop alarm option and would wait for a few minutes then wake up. But today, for some reasons, I overslept and noticed that it was already 9AM!  By 9AM, I should have been done with my laundry, getting ready for the gym and probably have touched on a few stuff for the training modules.  But at 9AM, I was just getting up, straight to brewing coffee and for a change, I sauteed the leftover veggies I got. I also spared some for my dinner bento. I keep reminding myself to be more aware in spending money, avoiding bento lunches whenever I can just go and have kitchen-dashe...

I wasn't as productive as I aim to be. I wanted to start working on the modules for the teacher training but I can't seem to find the organization in my head to work on it. But I did finish editing the podcast episode that was supposed to have been for last Sunday but since I was so out of rhythm, I had to delay the process. Getting back on track whenever I lose my way is such a daunting task to do. But fulfilling, nonetheless. I will keep losing my way yet, I will keep struggling to find my way back. Coz that's how it is meant to be. 

I realized that since my room got darker when my landlord put up the protection boards, my energy had been so low as well. Though I managed to accomplish a few things, it was noticeable that the gloom of the room is taking its toll on me.  Yesterday, he removed the boards before I left for my driving lesson and the room lit up and felt lighter too. It was also nice to wake up to a bright view. The rays of the sun slashing in the curtains were also good for some photo ops.  The season has gone colder and my skin is having its  cold season issues, too. That's for another day's complaining. Haha.  For now, it is good to finally feel that I am getting things done. 

 I have been complaining non-stop for the past few days.  I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm busy. I lack time. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm busy. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm busy. I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm busy. I just wanna be a sushi.  I just wanna wrap myself up in my comforter, rolled in it and then I have an excuse as to not do anything because I am wrapped up, literally.  But I just gotta keep going. I promised myself I will keep going and it will happen.  It should happen. This little acts and tasks and accomplishments will pay off, it should pay off, in one form or another.  I could use a hug. Tons and frequent. 

It will definitely take a lot of effort, funding, time and lots of self doubt if I can acquire this skill, but I will definitely put my money in here. For myself. For my future. It would take time and money but definitely not forever.  Excited to document on my learning-how-to-drive journey in Japan. 

I was so hungry after 4 straight classes today and was thinking of getting ramen but I don't wanna spend. Plus I have a lot deliverables to work on. And I mean it.... A LOT.  As soon as I stepped at my house, washed my hands, put the pan into the stove, grabbed the bottle of the remaining spanish sardines, mushrooms and some onions.. sauteed them in another pan while boiling water for pasta. Thought of making a vodka-based cocktail but I realized that I still have some umeshu...  My bare face and tired self would like to send its Cheers! For a Friday night filled with things to accomplish :) 

Was out late in the morning but nothing to be in a rush so I took my time and slept in a bit more. Also, getting used to not putting any make up at all. 🤪 No need to be pretty for anybody, anyway.  Had a chance to hit the gym with the goal of being back home at 12noon. I did almost 12noon. Lol.  This is my work face. 

This was me last Saturday as I wait for my train back to Miyazaki City. 

This Longchamp x Bulova watch is my favorite watch. I bought for 3,600 yen at Mercari Japan and I love it eversince. 

I'm workingg in another city and found this neat, little gym called Excel Gym. I had found great stress release in working out and would do it whenever I can. It would be nice if the hotel where they put me here would have but it doesn't have one. And though this is a 30-something minute walk if not an 8-minute bus ride, I would still take it. Next week would prolly be different. I will explore this town :) 

I saw my friend's profile of this type of drawing and I asked if I can have one made for myself. I was okay to pay but the artist said it is free! Yay! 

Distance learning is not an option anymore. Hindi sya madali lalo at nakakaintindi ka na kasi hahanap at hahanap ka ng dahilan para hindi mo matapos ang modules. Lahat na ng alibi, excuse, kwentong katamaran, lalabas at idadahilan. Pati yung maingay na karaoke ng kapitbahay mo, idadahilan mo. Napaka-boring umupo sa isang tabi at magnilay-nilay sa mga salitang nakasulat sa module. Sobrang nakakabagot, pero sa pinaka-nakakabagot na oras na yun, andun ang pagkatuto. Piliin mong maging kakampi mo ang sarili mo. Bigyan mo ng pagkakataon ang sarili mong mabagot kung andun ang pagkatuto. Inilahad na sayo ang karapatan mo sa edukasyon, obligasyon mo naman ang matuto.

It is one of those days. I am trying to put it into words.  The feelings of frustrations, of holding back, or pushing people away, or seclusion of just wanting to get away from everything.  One day, I am celebrating self-love, the next day I am grieving on my incapacity to continue academic tasks, of being needy, helpless and loneliness.  I am tired inwardly. My shoulders are heavy, my head is light and a bit dizzy.  Gulping down on a small box of milk, hopefully that would put me to sleep. 

Ayun oh! For the love and hate of rice and everything yummy minus the topak days.  Cheers to size S or M and feeling better about myself. My muscles are sore yet happy. 

Uninstalled my instagram for awhile but did 2 updates in Twitter today. Lol. But since I really dont like that platform, I am hoping it can be a strategy for me to disconnect myself from social media. I am planning to disable my eph-bi page soon too! Prolly tomorrow.  Hmmm. I am planning to check out this highly-recommended gym from where I work this week and then, work on my other tasks right after. Then on Thursday onwards, I'll go and explore the nearly by places.  I look forward to days and end of days that I will go home to someone, share meals and stories and have mind-blowing sex and repeat the cycle as I work on my ancestral purpose, my own dreams and fight my hormonal imbalances.  It will happen Kat. For now, limit your Smirnoff intake to two bottles. 

I haven't been putting make up for the past weeks. I just don't feel like doing it. I don't know why. 

Bebang: Uy, naka-jumper sya today.  Me: Katamad kasi magplantsa ng damit. 🤪 Papa: Ano yan? Naka-uniform ka ng pang elementary?!  Me: Walang uniform dito, pa.  Papa: Ang liit mo pa naman. Mukha lang grade 3.  Me: Pa, ako yung teacher. Pasok na ko.  Early morning pang-asar brought by my own father. Hayst. While he hrags about his mini garden of garlic. 

I painted my nails black and felt like wearing a ring I bought at a thrift shop. While checking attendance, a kid asked in  Japanese.. " Are you married?" , I chuckingly answered, "No but why do you ask?" ... " Coz you got a ring on your finger."  she said. "oh no. I bought it." I said. " Your watch too? Your earrings too?" And I just said "Yes." to all the questions.  I wish I can say more.  I miss innocent conversations.  I miss being around kids.  I wish I can also tell her that, as much as I don't know if I will ever get married in this lifetime, deep inside of me, I am wishing for it. A marriage like that of my parents and if he doesnt come any sooner, fine by me. I just gotta by myself my own ring.  It will definitely be an expensive one next time :)  Something to consider for keeps. Because that's what I have been honing myself into...  Someone for keeps. 🥰

Final quarter for 2020! And I suddenly started crying as I realized it.  I've been fighting back the tears as much as I can whenever I feel like just crying... feeling frustrated about everything that is going on ... in my life, the world and the people I care about.  I started a podcast channel with my friends as my first guests. I am so grateful that most of them had already said Yes to the invitation and we just have to get started with the outline, orient them with the flow and the editing is the most tedious and boring one. No wonder this job pays so much and not a lot of people would like to have it as a job.  I started watching How I Met Your Mother. I finished Season 1 after a week! LOL. Season 2 is by far better. The Sunday Pancakes just reminds me of myself. I just love making pancakes on the weekends and wouldnt it be nice to have a partner to share it with too.  I want a guy like Ted Mosby, but I dont think a guy like Ted Mosby would like me. And my guy f...