12 May 2023

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 Standing in my way right now is the lack of energy and enthusiasm to pursue anything that of writing could make me discover and for me to be discovered. 

If only I would be able to overcome this obstacle, I would that I would be able to present myself more professionally to the international community but most of all, be more of service to the NGO I currently serve. 

I need to learn to be able to budget my time, have more patience in reading books, procrastinate lesser, exercise better and of course, worry lesser about money. I need to convince myself that I can do all these, coz I know that I was able to do all of them before. 

I had always been using the same excuse of lack of motivation and energy and just regretted it every time. 

I would like to think that these obstacles are just my own fears of being rejected and non-relevant, with the longest running obstacle called laziness, I have let life pass me by and kept me wishing I was in a different place particularly in career. 

I have picked up on exercise again and signed up for this writing activity and it excites me that I am able to just let ideas flow and write like this again. I have come far, I just took a break somewhere and need to pick up my butt to start moving forward again, coz actually, in that of my masters degree journey, I am almost at the finish line and I really just need to keep going to get to the finish line.

The doubt if I am doing things right had always been my biggest obstacle and still is. And the loneliness that comes with it. I just did it the last time, I just have to do it all over again. Maybe the feeling of endlessness that comes with it. I don't really know.  

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