15 Aug 2026

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 It's been that long? The last entry I had was last May? But in my head, I had been writing, reflecting, typing, would have been real if I can go back to them just like that ones I had written here. 

I know I'll find the groove, the system, the organization to be able to write again. I dream to be able to weave something like that of Marcus Aurelius book, Meditations- a collection of his thoughts about his life. 

In a few days time, I turn 40. A few months ago, I become a mother, a few months before that, I become jobless, before all that, I was someone who was just trying to make the best out of life. Years changed me, but not as quick as motherhood have. 

Beautiful, I may say. What an honor, what a pleasure. But painful as well. Learning to let go of the oneself I had built over the years, succumbed to the void of just viewing other people carefully curate their lives to be viewed online, now, struggling to find my way back to living life again. 

In writing, I am able to do that. In here, I romanticize life, the sad part, the love part, the difficult part. In here, I get to write my dreams, and in real life, I am so proud to say that they did come true and I am living parts of it now. 

When I say I miss writing, it also means I miss romanticizing the life I have. The good, the boring, the bad, the great. I miss curating the future I want, yet more grateful that even for the life and blessings the Lord has been giving me and the people I love unceasingly. 

In Monday, I turn 40. Forty trips around the sun and going. They say life starts at 40. Hmmm... For me, at 40, I am working on the change motherhood had done to me. 

Looking forward to the Mama Kat on top of the other roles I promised to keep with me. 

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