Life of a Kat

We woke up a bit late and heavy after sleeping late because we watched the applauded REWIND from the recently concluded Metro Manila Film Fest.  I was never a really a follower of the movie scene in general, but every now and then, it makes sense to follow the good crowd for recommendations.  Rewind was a movie about man who asked for a second chance, to save his wife's life. To go back in time and make amends with all the people he had hurt. In exchange, his own life will be taken, in exchange for the primary scene that the wife died.  In real life, there is no Rewind. There is no going back, but it doesn't mean that there is no time for amends and reparation of damages. But albeit, to save one from all the troubles of regrets, the movie taught us that life should be lived with kindness, boldness and forgiveness.  It weighs on the heart to be unforgiving, there is so much anger and hate.  It feels heavy on the feet to perform daily tasks that are not done with ...

As of today, we have kept the routine as usual. Wake up. Warm water. Breakfast. Yoga. Blog update.  I can already see April 2024 as busy as it can be and I am just as excited about what unfolds moving forward.  Regaining back energy and enthusiasm felt like a task until I just let life take its course. Just do what needs to be done and then, I am a happy little thing from here on.  I am grateful for the warm hugs at night, the quiet mornings and a day full of tiny adventures.  Whats up for today now that we have crossed of the morning routine? - check with Espoir tasks  - set up reminder for April 25th meeting - take a nap - go to work  I want to rearrange the things inside our house in such a way that we can finally reclaim the hobby of music for both of us.. hmm..  Today's Verse of the day:  But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through ...

Let's go for an early morning brain dump.  The other day, I was thinking of journaling and my introduction was supposed to be, "I don't like my body."  I know! What a horrible thing to say to oneself, knowing that with this body, I had achieved and reached so many and afar. Probably the emotional roller coaster of the past few days.  Today, I started calm.  We woke up and of course, I felt the morning kiss on my cheek. An obligatory kiss. LOL. I asked him to do that to me, as the first thing to do when he wakes up beside me.  I stayed in bed a little longer as he scour around the kitchen for his morning shenanigans. Then there's breakfast, then I am able to complete Day 1 of 30 of a Yoga Challenge I had put for myself. Not because I don't like my body but because it is time to give myself that tough love I deserve. Tough love because it is never easy to sustain, I know it coz here I am, whipping my butt and belly into shape again, as if its the hardest thing t...

I think this recovery will be slow. As much as I want it to be really zooming into the horizon of genkiness and energy, I need to embrace this moment of loss and realization.  A lot of things are running in my head. That sense of worth just totally gets shaken coz what if I never really get to be able to carry a child full term, give birth and rear one. Of the many things I am capable of doing in my life, this negative thought can totally pull me down. And I am writing this just to get it off my mind and realize that my life may seem dull, sad at the moment but for sure, there are other things I can do. With that, I should be taking this period of recovery a time to explore deeper on what else I can do with my life as I play different roles for different people around me. Am I still up to write a research paper? Am I up for a managment post? Am I up to be really successful? Am I ready to give my mother the comfort in life she deserves? This period of recovery should be moments of s...

Another day is about to pass, today is a bit more calm than yesterday, but more painful in the inside knowing that things didn’t go well and the reality of life that sometimes, what we want is not always what we get.  Physically painful, but I know that recovery will be fast depending on how open I am to accepting that pregnancy isn’t for me just yet. I want to be more healthy again, more energetic, more hopeful, more to give. I want to prepare my physical body to be a vessel. I want my heart to be ready for the opportunity to be a mom coz underneath the excitement there has always been that fear if I will be good enough for the role, to be entrusted with life, not just in the classroom, but for formation from conception to become a human being, reared and taken care of, fed, clothed and formed in values.  There is pain right now, in my heart and in my body, but just like every other events in life, this too shall pass. It is good to grateful at least for a short while to savo...

My “full-time” job expects that I show up at work mostly in the afternoons.  Actually if I didn’t have a car and just rely on public transport, transit will be the major time consumer. And so, I invested on a car.  Now, most mornings are free.  I had always been so lost in the mornings despite setting up projects and tasks but there are times that I just can’t seem to stop scrolling on social media accounts and prying, envying other people’s lives and questioning the universe why I am stuck where I am right now. It’s an endless cycle of unfinished tasks, boring routines and wants that I know I don’t deserve at the moment coz of my current disposition in life.  As life is taking a big change in the coming days, I can’t help but be scared on how it will all turn out to be, and then, I am reminded that I have a powerful God, an ever supportive life partner, a family and group of friends who would always have my back to celebrate with.  I am just so emotional right ...