Life of a Kat

 Sleep has been somewhat irregular. As I approach the final days of pregnancy and anticipating labor and delivery, sleeping itself proved to be a challenge, with a very big belly, heavy body and crazy feelings with anticipation and a bit of worry about the future.  Also, I had been so caught up with all the Flood Control controversy and senate hearing in the Philippines, that even now, I get distracted writing this as I browse through all the reddit feeds. If its not on fb, then its gonna be reddit. Can't imagine the worse it could get if I also have X and Threads to look into.  A month of being unemployed and this has been life. Glad to have been able to control weight gain until within the borders of expectations, but life had simply been full of the mundane tasks, very few can be considered accomplishments, still disappointment about my scrolling habits, and still struggling to improve on it, working on little ways to fight it every now and then. Nevertheless, I am not...

Apparently, there are 4 pillars of Corruption: The Corrupter, the Corrupt, Impunity and Tolerance.  I would like to see it as something like this:  Corrupters: the enablers, mastermind, untouched, cannot be mentioned, and ones who made rules Corrupts: the mobilizers, the people in between, the faces that we see, used to be good but then they turned bad. If they become really good at what they do, they either sit next to or replace the upper Corrupters. Or if betrayed,  eventually turn out to be the sacrificial lambs promised to comfort while serving sentence, just to keep confidence with the leadership.  Impunity: the hoax that is the investigative bodies  built and hearings conducted but never really get to expose the real corrupters  Tolerance: the voters kept in poverty, lack of education and survival level of living- continually depending on menial social services provided, the workers who pay taxes but never get to enjoy the privileges of good housing,...

It is already 4:21 AM and I am still wide awake. I woke up with sweat all over my neck, wanting to pee and can't get over the feeling of heat. Though the AC was in the blast, the electric fan is also blowing.  I decided to just get up and do stuff on my laptop, most of the things that I had held off within the day because I would rather just do tinkering and cleaning around the house instead of focusing on what I know are also important for me.  For the next months, the AC will be on blast mode for long hours and hours and as much I am feeling anxious as to where we will be taking the money from to pay for our monthly bills, I know that we will be alright. I am just not used to not being in control and in decision for most of my adult life but for the next few months, it will have to be a different phase and set for me as I enter motherhood and staying home way longer than I am used to.  As we explore options for the future, I am very much confident that my husband and I ...

25 weeks and counting. Can’t believe and just very grateful to the Lord that He allowed us to get this far and I know that He is holding us into this entire journey.  I am having very bad, scratchy throat. Clogged nose and heavy shoulders. The weather had taken me over as early today. 

It is 5:17AM and I am going back to bed soon.  I woke up at around 3:20-ish in the middle of the night as I felt so hungry and just really needed to eat. I always miss home and mama's breakfast cooking so I did egg guisado, ate it with rice and warm water. Since I cannot go back to bed so soon, I decided to write and make progress on the training manual I am working on. Good progress I would like to say.  Roughly at 20 weeks pregnant as of today. Glad that everything seems to be progressing well and good. A bit of uncomfortable feeling here and there, spontaneous cravings, just altogether excited for this next chapter of life and this little human being growing and living inside me.  Thinking of prepping hubby's bento before going back to bed and I honestly will be having a long day today.  Workout, bank deposits, car parking payment due, laundry, meeting agenda to prep for, online meeting, teaching.  Life. Thank you, Lord for this life and opportunity to keep l...

And all I seem to be doing is follow other people live their lives.  Scrolling and scrolling has been a chronic problem for me and until now, I can't seem to figure a resolution from it.  So far, I have gotten used to phones while eating even if it's just me on the table, phone away from the bed every time, but when I am out and about, it is when I get to be so lost as I see people living their lives or as they would want the public or their circles to see them: in glitz and glamor, carefree, soulful, peaceful, extravagant. Everything that I wish I could be but I am not and I am not really sure if I really want to be?  Write it all down, had been an advice for someone who uses intellection or as others would see it, thinking so much of my time, and here I am, writing it all down.  Last May 24th, I received the letter I wrote from FutureMe. I was surprised and really felt wonderful and quite shaken at the same time as I seem to have not moved forward with any career g...

Capped off a 3-day weekly training with Gallup Strengths focusing on my Top 5 Themes, considered to be talents.  I got:  Intellection  Strategy  Individualization Ideation Belief  One of the major takeaways was that I should be writing/journaling A LOT! Which was something I used to do and tried to do more on handwriting but my Daily Pages had been blank for almost a month now since I keep missing on the thought and no energy to flip a page and grab a pen, sit on a corner and write. Unlike how I used to do it in this blog, it was seamlessly effortless back then.  I probably just had to categorize better and you know just sort out my writing so I can go back to the archives easily in the future.  So, moving forward, migrating major pages of the Daily Pages but still keep the notebooks I used to have for days that I feel like scribbling than typing.  For now, happy to find that time and go back to this space again.  <3 

Today’s the first day of the week-long break for Golden Week and as far as my holiday is concerned, I certainly had taken it on a good day of doing major stuff for a few minutes and the rest spent on scrolling, inside a car or in a house and still scrolling. I wanted to do my online gallup assessment but keep not getting the time and energy for it. I have a lot of other stuff to work on but had no will to do things.  Well, at least today, me and the hubby managed to take a walk and I had 8600 steps to prove for it.  Tomorrow, I try again. 

I am one of those who had been hit hard by the drama series: When Life Gives You Tangerines This slice of life K-drama indeed hit a lot of spot in the daily lives.  At one point, it made me think, maybe I am like Ae Sun, a young girl who used to dream big and then life's challenges hit her hard and woke up seeing herself as a wife, a mother of 3, lost one and someone who had given up on her literary dreams over time. Fulfilling her dreams through her daughter and continually loving her husband through thick and thin.  Then, I realized I don't wanna be like that. I don't wanna be someone who outsourced her dreams to the next generation, pretty much like how my own mother had had it.  In the event that I would have my own child soon, I wanna fulfill my own dreams next to them (husband and child). Easier said than done for sure, that's for sure. Twists and turns in life are not new in anyone's life, it is the way of life. Or else, what would it be called? Even the most...

Im thinking of making a full-on declutter of my stuff. Shredding those more than 5 year-old planners, donating/selling books, throwing stuff that I dont need, junk gadgets and completely letting go of these things aren't supposed to take up space in our house. It will take a while for sure.  I started it last Monday and it is crazy to see why I have to many bags that I don't really use, books and notebooks that I don't write on and I still want to buy some more.  This is what I have been doing lately, just writing and writing and I know that they don't make any sense but I still write them down here.  There are certain feelings I miss to feel and I know that it is also me that can make me feel them: adventure, excitement, beauty, love. The cold weather is unforgiving.