Fever coz of envy? or too much surfing?

This week, two of my co-alumni graduated with Masters Degree—one from Australia and the other one in France. Both international scholarships awards.

In my heart, I am happy and so proud of them. And another side of me wishes that I am one of them. I was 27 then, working as a lowly office worker for a multi-national company, living a very ordinary life. Somewhat, meaningless and stagnant. I couldn’t see any room for growth, nor satisfaction with what I do. It was just so routinely. The only satisfaction and validation I get was that I am able to support my family and help send my siblings to school. That if I decide to quit my job and really start my teaching career, it will really be difficult for all of us.

But opportunities had its way of making itself known. At 27, I was able to start my career in the social development job in the field of education. I started meeting great leaders, amazing co-workers and big dreamers. Scholarships were everywhere but one must really have great credentials and I just didn’t have that. It takes awhile to build an entire portfolio of achievements. I think mine stopped when I decided to work as a mere front liner for the corporate sector.    

The point of this? I just really wish that I can do something like what they do. Be able to inspire more people and just help in connecting people, bridging gaps and making this world a better place. I just want to be able to leave my mark just like them.

For now, I am yet again with a low-paying job and there are even times that my credentials as a teacher aren’t trusted, just because I am not a native English speaker. I am judged by my soil of birth and the color of my skin and not my abilities. It is a hard battle to be more economically-able myself and still be able to provide my family and then take the time to think about ways on how to be able to help people be better communicators.

I would just like to think that I am half-way in my own endeavor. I may be working with a very small group for now, but I would like to embody that metaphor my friend gave me—that I am a ripple. That one day, these little things I do, will someday be helpful to a larger group of people. I will be able to build a better platform for my bigger-than-me dreams o Second Language Teaching in Japan. That one day, I would not have to compare my compensation with that of a English native speaker, I would not have the feeling of being underprivileged in many aspects of my living and career.

A few years from now, hopefully, the 8 of us will get together and share amazing stories of success in helping, not just the Philippines, but all mankind in making this world a better place.

Let me get that sleep I need. I have fever and body pain since this morning.