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Showing posts from October, 2018

Are you settling for something?

365 QOTD

Are you settling for something?

Am I? I don't think so. I am just taking my time. Waiting.

******

I thought the day would end on an ordinary note until I took that call after work. I am getting another writing project!

Imagine that! After more than 6 years of dramas and documentation of my personal sh*ts in life, I am not getting a my writing skill monetized! HAHAHAHA.

I loved it very much because the writing project keeps me grounded on two subjects I love the most-- Science and English.

Nerdy, it is. But who cares!

Working on making my bank account fat and fluffy.
Will work on honing my python skills.

Thank you, Lord.
Thank you, universe.

Beneath me is a restless soul, at the surface is a grateful smile for every opportunity.

Now, how do I keep getting up early in this cold winter season to work on these projects?

If it's time to go, it's time to go.

I first met him the first quarter of this year.  Good conversation. Good listener. Great sense of humor. Sushi. Coffee. Tea.  I thought that was the last time I'll see him. Then he ghosted on me.  I felt fine. 
Then, on the night of my birthday surprise, he told me he was in Miyazaki for a short holiday.  In the midst of all the surprises, I counted him as another one.  Good conversation. Good listener. Great sense of humor. Sushi. Coffee. Tea.  Random messages. Then ghosting.  I felt fine. 
In the middle of a crazy week, I received an early morning message, "I'm in Japan, btw."  All I wanted was to hug him that moment. But we have to wait for the weekend. Waiting for the weekend to arrive, looking forward for the hug was somewhat slow torture of delight. Though, I still feel overwhelmed with a lot of things happening around me, lots of opportunities and tasks at hand, I just needed to hug him. This morning was different, we didn't meet at a coffee shop. He boug…

Describe your last life-changing moment.

365 QOTD

Describe your last life-changing moment.

This one is deep. Way too deep.

The last one maybe was with the not-so recent break up.
It was unbelievably quick.
It has been life-changing in the sense that....

I should keep my eye on my long term goals.
A nice guy isn't really a nice guy.
I've learned to never expect anything from anybody.


**************

One module down tonight. Until further revisions. But I have it all finished and covered.

It is tiring yet it is fulfilling to be part of this endeavor at it keeps me on my toes about science concepts and it's application to the current issues of global warming, push for renewable energy resources and the molding of future scientists, thinkers, engineers and the likes.

I just can't wait for the weekend to come. Though I am still not sure if my ideal weekend will happen, I am still looking forward to it as a time for me to re-arrange my files, work on my pending readings and just read more.

I haven't done yoga fo…

If you made laws, what one would you make today?

365 QOTD

If you made laws, what one would you make today?

Walk the talk.

*****

Today is actually a good day.

It was a my day off and I already had it planned out.

Started it with an immediate call from my supervising officer with the content-writing project that we are working with. Some changes and polishing need to be done with the content that I am working on.

It appears that I am putting in too many of concepts for the system and they might not be able to accommodate it.

Next was the usual Japanese conversation class for an hour.

Then, another online conference with my previous boss with the NGO regarding my recent presentation in Thailand as she seeks confirmation and other points of view regarding linguistic imperialism and its implication to the organization. Quite big of a challenge and I am beginning to feel now how heavy of a topic I had put myself into as they seek more from me, in regards with time, expertise and output.

Then, worked on a few, well, not really a few, but …

It's her time to go.

It's her time to go. I keep telling myself.

Today, my former co-worker, E had already left for Hiroshima. She quit the company we used to both work for and had decided to find another job in another place for several reasons.

I was hoping to see her before she leaves just so I can also thank her personally and wish her well on her way. I know it would have been emotional and wacky at the same time. She told me that she had intended not to see me because she is avoiding the emotional breakdown that may arise as she leaves the city. She has been crying all week-long, she said.

I sent her a message telling her that another co-worker is set to resign and that I had decided to take a holiday flight back home at the end of December and be back on New Year's Eve in Miyazaki.

I will be spending the last day of 2018 enroute back to Japan and welcoming 2019, either in a bus enroute to Miyazaki or in a capsule hotel in Fukuoka. Just because with the sudden changes, I may have difficulty…

How much time did you spend outside today?

365 QOTD

How much time did you spend outside today?

Very good question. I spent almost 13 hours outside today. Had eaten meals at my fave cafe and grabbed dinner from a nearby grocer.

I did a morning walk at the beach with Tita G and spent the whole afternoon at my friend's co-working space for today's deliverables. I am just so grateful to my friend who owns the place and company as he let me use almost all the devices that are in the office. And I try not to abuse the kindness.

I was able to meet my groupmates in one of my subjects in grad school and was also able to connect with someone from the NGO network I work with in Nepal.

I also had a headstart with writing content for another project.

And here I am, still telling my little journal how much of a full day I had.

I was able to also do the laundry :D Yahoo!

Oh well.

Sleep Kat. You had a wonderful day.

Describe the last time you were embarrassed.

365 QOTD

Describe the last time you were embarrassed.

I cant remember! Hahaha. Because I have a lot. LOL. Living in this town, without knowing much about the language and practices, I still get culture shocks every now and then and episodes of embarrassment. But I have good friends here that are always to the rescue.

*****

The week started a bit shaky. Missing an important deadline for grad school, but still getting a good news about a writing project.

One of my closest guy friends just recently got back in touch and had been talking about his new relationship. Interestingly, he suddenly popped up because they recently had a misunderstanding and is probably wanting to talk to someone about it. It was cool he caught me on time that I am not having my own issues and is willing to talk. LOL.

I should keep reading the book and not scrolling on social media. How do I stop scrolling?! HELP.

Seriously, I need help on this one.

Happy to be busy!

"Hi Kat, Thank you for submitting on time. This lesson is very promising. I think you would do well writing with us. :) How many hours did you spend writing this out? Thanks."
What a nice read from my inbox tonight.
My love for writing, thinking and science and simple math is finally finding it's way to be lucrative. More than being lucrative, I find the opportunity to be a learning point for myself as well. As the writing entails a lot of curating the science and math concepts into daily life experiences and other related global problems. 
So now, the another set of balancing needs to be done.  I missed a deadline today with one subject in grad school because of a lot of reasons and that is bad for the record, but I definitely have to keep up with the deadlines and make sure that it won't happen ever again.
Oh life.  Happy to be busy!

If others describe how you acted today in one word, it would be_____________.

365 QOTD

If others describe how you acted today in one word, it would be_____________.

It would be MOODSWINGS.

*****

If I would give a title to this journal if I turn it into a book, it would probably be the Unpredictable Moodswings of a Kat, since most of my episodes and emotional outbursts would happen on those times of the month and I would usually vent it out in here.

I have been having too much coffee lately, resulting to staying up late at nights and dreamless sleeps as well.

I haven't been working out very much and have been eating heavily time and again.

Deadlines after deadlines but I have seem to manage them well. A lot of gatherings on free days that I have to limit in the coming days and remind myself of my priorities again.

Newest venture will be a 32-hour project of writing lessons for an edu-tech venture in the US. I am a bit of nervous if I can pull off the contents and have them aligned with the newest learning standards. As I am somebody who learns through models…

Rejections after rejections. Ghosts after ghosts.

Today, I just got off the phone from an initial interview for a very short content-writing project of lesson plans for a raspberry-pi based science lessons.

A few months ago, I had gone through the same process, that time, it was with a China-based school, wanting to outsource content writing of workbooks for English lessons. The person-in-charge, promised to send me sample contents that I can look into. But it never happened. I never received any sample materials. I sent a follow up email but never got a reply. Then, I just decided to let it go. I asked a favor from my friend who referred me to the project to ask what happened but until now, I don't have any answer.

When, I pitched myself for this new content-writing project, I was actually excited about the thought of tinkering with a raspberry pi all over again. Then, I just had to calm myself coz there are chances that I might never get the chance because... a.) I haven't taught science for quite a while now, b.) I am not …

What’s the next book you are going to read?

How are you?

365 QOTD

How are you?

I'm tired.

I spent so much for shopping today and I don't know if I should feel guilty about it.

I forgot that it was the day that Tita G and I were supposed to go to the Thai resto for lunch. I thought we were just supposed to go early for onsen because it was a rainy day. Then, we went to a chainstore because it was on sale. Then, I had to buy a bread toaster. Then a few canned fruits at the grocery next to the appliance store. After that, Tita G dropped me off at the bus station because I promised my girlfriends that we will meet today at the mall. L and T were waiting in front of the bookstore and I saw T holding a shopping bag of one famous store of ladies' bag. I had been looking for a tote bag that I can use for work that can have everything in it in one go and I got myself a new tote bag! Then went for more grocery shopping at the store of international goods then a few more at the local grocery store. All these shops in one mall. We also spen…

Describe your day in one word.

365 QOTD

Describe your day in one word.

Accomplished?

Yes, with a question mark. Because... I got so tired today, but I felt that I was able to accomplish a lot of things today. From work tasks to grad school readings. I was able to complete a required reading entry, complete with notes that I can use in our Trello Board tomorrow.

Though it was just 1/10 of the expected tasks to be completed, it is still an accomplishment knowing that I easily got distracted with many things from online and things around me-- like the trash that needs to be thrown away, the vacuuming, the clearing of tables and updating tasks for the next unit lessons.

Also, I got a free fancy bento for dinner!

Tomorrow, I just need to do the morning personal things, sort, read and then write again and again.

Oh well.

It is a good day.

Ancestral Purpose

Image
While I was in Thailand, one of the best memory I got was a conversation about "ancestral purpose" with other 4 Filipinos over 3 boxes of pizza, pasta and chicken wings. 
That our present lives are sort of directed by our ancestral purpose. And it will always be for the good. 
Today, over groupchat, I mentioned about my subconscious attempt of job search. Then, T, the wisest amongst us 4, sent me this photo she took during my presentation and in carabao filipino she said: "Kat! Inspiration para yung job search mo. Yung presentation mo napaka galeng!"



So, the presentation was taken positively and I felt so privileged to be done to open the discussions about the social implications of how teachers teach a second language particularly in third world countries who used to be colonies of english-speaking nations. 
So, what is my "ancestral purpose"? 
I feel like leaving my job because I really feel that this is not the place that I see myself growing. I also h…

I started the day right then ended it emo. Ugh.

Today, I started the day right.

Though, I woke up a little late than usual, I started it right with an hour of yoga practice, a good breakfast and a clean kitchen.

At work, everything seemed to have flown so slow.

I also took time to browse on jobs..... Yes, browsing on job somewhere. Then, I had to stop and ask myself why was I doing what I was doing.

I had to take a deep breath and just ask myself why was I doing it.

I love Miyazaki, I appreciate the people I have in my circle. It is such an ideal place of calmness and slowness of living. So comfortable that it had become uncomfortable that I would be so used to just being alone. Or maybe, I am just having this itchy feet to explore and do more.

I don't know. But one thing is, I am feeling that loneliness again. It is creeping into my veins, paralyzing me, swaying my vision away from goals and just making me feel as if I am nothing.

The place is so calm that it tells me that if ever I die soon, the world will just go on turning …