Everything Happens coz the System is !"#$%&'

Thoughts are from an episode on Black Mirror- Hang the DJ. The story is about the futuristic setting of how technology interrupted the entire landscape of dating and romantic love.

So, the setting is a big city full of single men and women equipped with a circular, portable gadget named Coach, which then acts as the moderator, collects data and manipulates the one’s entire personal dating activities.

All matching activities happen in the same way.

1.     The gadget beeps, informing you that you have a match and that a date is set.

2.     They meet a specific place, the gadget shows the face of the matched person.

3.     Menu has been set, ordered by the system, you go on with the date.

4.     There is an expiry date for every match until the system tells you that you have met your ultimate match which doesn’t happen very soon. To know the expiry date, the couple taps on their gadget at the same time and then the expiry date is revealed.

5.     The choice to have sex within the period either long or short is also system activated, that the owner of the gadget has to consent on to everything. Thereby freeing the system of the responsibility of the emotional repercussions short term relationships might bring.

The system claims of 99.8% accuracy. Still not a hundred percent, because, apparently, there are still those of rebellious love affairs, the quirks and the ones who tried to stop time and escape away from the system.

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My favorites lines:

How do you know if its perfect matches? What if its all doing is gradually wearing us down? Putting us in one relationship for random situation, random duration, random sequence and each time it gets a little bit more pliable, a little bit more brightened until it gives you the final offering, telling you that that’s the one and by that point, you are so defeated and so exhausted, that you accept it, coz that’s all and then you have to live the rest of your life convincing yourself that you did it.

Her: Remember the first day that we met, how did you feel?


Him: I felt safe, happy, comfortable, it felt light. It felt like I was lock into place, like we’ve met before.

Her: If it happened before, it can happen again, it can happen a thousand times over and over again.

It’s a test. It’s been fucking with us, over and over again. So, let’s go, over the wall.

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The day I decided to finally quit online dating apps, I was really feeling defeated. Until now, actually, I am. There are times that I am tempted to just re-install and get back to it or try another one, but I am stopping myself. I am not letting the system decide what and who is right for me. I think, he (whoever he is) and I are capable enough to make that own decision for ourselves? (Are we really capable of doing so?)

I think I already have a good amount of online presence, enough to be noticed and to get connected to anyone. Being randomly paired to someone is not needed. As technology tries to make things faster, very predictable and the world entirely smaller, we become slaves to it. We get tired and suddenly surrender to it and let it decide for us altogether. And if things fuck up, it gives you that shitty excuse, Everything happens for a reason.

Lasting relationships doesn’t happen from random pairings, it happens either serendipitously, by destiny and/or due to deep searching and deep thinking. Seeing how my parents and my uncles and aunts grow old together, they are evidences that relationships are commitments built over time and had overcome the storms of misunderstandings. There are fights, but no one give up on the other. They just fight and then kiss and make up. (Maybe my mom and dad used to fight a lot that’s why we are six kids? Haven’t really asked coz we never see them fight, ever. LOL.)

As the system would always say, Everything happens for a reason.

In my weary and busy state of being, I am giving myself time to cure and be well enough again.

Ohh Love, why am I even longing for you when I know that I am surrounded with lots of them in all kinds and forms, except romantic love. Nonetheless, I live and wait to meet the one, the Prince Charming of my ownCinderella story.