For the meantime, this is life.

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In my head, I had been wanting to write about so many things, people and thoughts.
In my head, I have wrote all of them. I have posted about them. All in my head.

The truth is, the two line above are the first two lines I will have posted and nothing about stories of:

how I have been honest about being alone
how I have fell in love to Miyazaki and it's making it hard for me to make decisions of leaving
how I have managed to make new friends and appreciating them
how much I miss home
how much I miss my friends
how much I miss intellectual discussion
how I feel that feeling of not being able to move forward
how I would describe that feeling of exhaustion from the day-to-day struggle of living and trying to make days purposeful and still feeling not enough. 

Just so many and I am so thankful for the kids who hug me a lot lately. They would just come, showing they tiny arms spread on both sides, nodding their heads to call me and I just can't help but hug them back, a little bit tighter and utter a word of "Thank you for the hug." It just felt so good.

Wouldn't it be nice... 

to sleep being hugged.
to have someone beside me, with his arms wrapped around me as I tell stories about my day. 
to have someone beside me, his head between my shoulder, nose sniffing between my neck and the back of ear as he slowly talks about his day as well and I listen.
to have someone to eat with on good and bad days.  
to wake up with warm hugs and feathery kisses. 

Too much exhaustion can me ask for things I know that is hard to find nor have been exerting effort to find me. 

For the meantime, this is life. 
I wake up, make coffee, try to eat the right food, read when things are overwhelming and read when things are calm, write whenever I feel like it and keep sharing my dreams to the world. 

Comments

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