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Showing posts from 2014

2014 Yearend Post

I wasn't able to do a decent year-end post. The remaining days of 2014 got me pre-occupied most with not-so productive moments. Resting for most part of it since I had been sick the first few weeks of December. 

I stayed at my place for two consecutive days alone. I thought I will be able to clean but not really, all I did there was lie in my bed, either read or watch something on my laptop. I had planned to make year-end post in my head but the procrastinator in me prevailed until now, a few hours before we welcome 2015, I am collecting my thoughts about how 2014 had gone by. 
The year 2014 had been a year of many surprises. Not so many travels. Many deep realizations. Countless blessings. Getting used to solitude. Tough challenges. 
Topsy turvy.

Looking back to my posts for 2014 will activate a lot of emotions from ups and downs. Maybe that's just how equilibrium works. One can't just be happy at all times. One day, I am so happy, the next day, I feel discouraged. Then, …

The Score

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Kunwari, may interesadong malaman......... 






Risking to Dream

It had always been my dream to be someone who reach out to many people and inspire others. But life had been so challenging that I had made so many wrong decisions in my life and sometimes I really feel that I am way behind my contemporaries and that I am not worthy to talk about how my life had been changed with the way I see things. There were times that envy would overpower my emotions and I would pity myself for being someone way below than I dream of myself. I thought earning a certain amount of money could help me erase that insecurity but it actually lead to deeper insecurities.
Signing up to be a Teaching Fellow was a very big risk—huge pay cut, moving out of a comfortable office, change of working hours and giving up comfortable travels and tours. It was a risk I am thankful I had been very brave enough to take. The two years had been crucial for it made me think of the most important aspects of my life.
Working for this organization helped me fulfill one of my dreams- tha…

Dear Jesus Christ,

They say that you weren't really born on 25th of December. Nonetheless, people had chosen to celebrate Your birthday on that day. I hope you don't mind. We just want to thank You for coming to save us from our sins and from the fires of hell. 
I hope you receive more letter than Santa does. You see, when I was a kid, I used to believe he would really grant my wishes. I would write him a letter only to realize that it should be You that I should have been writing to, not to wish for gifts but to express my gratitude. 
More than two millenia ago, you were born in a manger to later on fulfill the prophecy to die on the cross at Calvary to deliver us from sins. We were told but  most still did not believe. I am grateful that I have come to know. I do believe in You being my Savior and Redeemer. You have been guiding me eversince. 
As time goes by, as the merriment becomes grander, a lot of times we forget the true meaning of Christmas. There are times that I become sad because I don&…

Time.

I am not yet ready for the year to end. This feeling of not having enough time always makes me feel sorry. Sorry because I feel that I havent done enough. For myself, for my family, for the kids and for my friends. 
The chase with time is an endless chase. But I still dare try to keep up. It can be exciting at times especially if you really love what you are doing and want to get results. There are also those exhausting moments, those days that I just want to get through with or I dont know why I do what I do or my physical body wont cooperate. 
During those exhausting days, I wonder how time looks at me. Does time take pity on me because I still have a lot of things to do but I cant move on anymore? Or is it laughing at me because no matter how I try to keep up I just can't? I can only wonder for I will never know. Time will never tell me it is just there to offer itself. 
Time is just there. No feelings. It has nothing else to offer but itself. 
There are days that I say time is cru…

Random Thoughts 12.15.2014

1. Sugat na lalamunan.     Paos na boses     Pagod na katawan.      Hello Antibiotic, antagal na nating hindi nagkita. 
    Ang nega lang diba? Hehehe
    Kasalanan ko din kasi pinagodmuch ko ang sarili ko. 
2. Nung office girl pa ko, sa mga ganitong panahon, nakagawa na siguro ako ng Christmas Wishlist, nakapaglista ng reregaluhan, nagkukumahog mamili ng panregalo, at pang noche buena. Lakad-lakad sa mall. Nakikipagbuno sa Divisoria. 
3. Ngayon, walang ganun. Eto nandito ako sa bahay. Nagpapahinga. Bukas pa lang ako mamimili pero dito na lang sa malapit at hindi ko na din mabibigyan lahat ng nasa listahan.
4. Tatlong stickers na lang ang kelangan ko para makamit ko ang aking planner! Akalain mo yun. Thank you Family and Friends and to Myself! Konti na lang........ 
5. Ang hirap pa rin sagutin nung tanong, "Ano na ang plano mo after March 2015?"
6. Tanggap na ko sa aking dream school for my MA studies! Woohooo!!! Kelangan ko na din maghanap ng sponsors/scholarships. Bakit a…

A Few Hours at Boys Town CDO

Sunday, November 23, 2014.
It’s my first visit in Cagayan De Oro City. For some, when they hear about Cagayan De Oro City, first thing that will come to mind are whitewater rafting, the long zipline, Camiguin Island tour and other adrenaline-filled activities one can do while at CDO. I didn’t do any of that. Instead, Rhaine, the head of Child Protection Brigade Volunteers and one of hosts for my sudden visit, invited me to join him and his friends for a few hours of visit to the Boys Town in Brgy. Lumbia, Cagayan De Oro City.
I’m a public school teacher so I’m very much exposed to stories of kids living in high need areas and them being underprivileged. I am also part of the advocacy of equality of education for every Filipino child. I thought I’ve seen it all. I was thinking visiting these kids will not be different from my daily tasks. I’ll just teach them a song and then help distribute some hygiene kits we had come up with, share some merienda, then take photos and the day will b…

On Leaning In.

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My mentor suggested that I read this book: LEAN IN by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook.

The author discusses about being a woman in the corporate jungle---how Sandberg survived and thrived in a career path where men are considered powerful. 
Allow me to share a few things that really made an impression on me. The entire book did, I had a bit of difficulty choosing which one to prioritize, but I know I had to choose.
1.If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress. This is absolutely a struggle for and the organization I work with. I personally have internal debates as to when is the right time to rock the boat. I guess, there is really no perfect time, the right time is now. My co-fellows and I can only hope that we really are making a progress. We all have this desire to be liked by everyone, even though we all know that it can never be possible, we can only be liked by a majority but not by everyone. As I attempt to be liked by everyone, I should always remember my ma…

I am broke so I spent a weekend in CDO!

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Why I chose CDO? I really don't know. Then, while I was there, I knew all of a sudden.

As soon as I clicked the send button with the email that I had chosen CDO, I really never thought it will ever happen. After a few more days, I received an email with the instruction on how I can get to Cagayan de Oro for free!

Still, I had another problem, what will I do in CDO? Relatives from my grandmother's side had all moved to the US so, contacting them about my sudden trip will not be advisable. I decided to contact Lala, of Telelalahbells, to ask how I could go around the city for a day and what are some advisable things to do while visiting the city. Just the city. I had no plans of going whitewater rafting, or that great zipline because, I have no funds. Remember my previous post? It's all about me being broke at the moment.

Lala, as we all know her, responded enthusiastically and all of a sudden had made an outline of a tour where I could go to while in the city. I said that …

Broke and Positive About It

I'm broke.

Believe me, that is something very hard to admit for a 28-year old girl like me. It had been years since I graduated with a degree and had gotten license for it, worked hard, became a BPO and corporate slave and yet, 8 years after, I am broke. I am financially incapable of doing a lot of things a lot of people at my age do, like travel, buy books, spend on coffee, shopping, give to parents and not worry about emergency expenses. For some, they even had started paying for their own places.

But I would never trade this two years I gave it up for.

Two years ago, I was living a normal life, not that I am living an extraordinary life after that, I could say that two years after, I started living a far more grateful kind of life.

I may have stopped acquiring a lot of material things, or even giving so many things money can buy, in return, I learned a lot, much of it money can't buy at a nearby mall or signature shop.

Gratefulness.

That is the word I could come up with fit…

Strumming My Pain.

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Today is Friday.  This is how I spend the Friday after I lost my phone. Nagwala ako. Hahaha.
It's been awhile that I had played my guitar Fernando.  Since I am a Taylor Swift fan and she had released a new album, I had chosen my favorite song on the playlist and this is it pansit!
Maraming mali sa aking strumming dahil kanina na lang ulit ako kumarir ng pagigitara at kumanta na wala din sa tono. >_<

This is one of my maladaptive schemes to cope with a stressful day. I have sooooooo many school-related things to do-- grades that are due on Monday since the card-giving is scheduled on Nov. 13, lesson plans, papers to check, yet, I chose to learn to play this song instead which I wasn't able to perfectly play pa din. Still, this is my favorite! Hahahaha

Please play it at your own risk!!!!!!
Forgive me, I don't know what else to do.

Day-op si Inday :P :P

Talking to Myself

I really like to write. I love to write a lot. Just about anything. My life. My thoughts. Just about whatever runs into my head. Writing feels like talking with the words in print, that’s how my tita would always tell me whenever she asks me to write about something when I was in high school. However, I just can’t make that happen all the time. There will be days that I would just run into my computer and type away and post it. There were days that I would start on something and have it forever on the drafts page. Worst are the days that I want to write but I can’t write anything. Just like this.
I am just typing away with nowhere to go. I am squeezing out senseless words from my brains just because I want to write and I am restless.
For now, I will try to write as if I’m talking.
It’s the time of the month. If a girl says it’s the time of the month, people in the room should be able to get it. If not, then let me tell you about it with a ( . ) do you get it now? That looks like a boob…

Randomthoughts 10.23.2014

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9:45
Nakakamiss na din magpost. Makapag-random nga.
1. Habang isinusulat ko to, nanonood ako ng The Adjustment Bureau. According to the movie, there are siginificant people whose lives are planned, the plans entails that the lead role give up his love for more bigger responsibilities and wider opportunities for the one he loves. He decided to give up his love and work according to plan. Di pa tapos eh. Di ko ma-share ang ending. 
2. Naka-Day 8 na ko sa gym! Yoohoo! So far, di naman masakit ang katawan ko. Hahaha. I noticed in myself na mas productive ako with my daily tasks and I sleep better.
3. Every day is a success. Small progress and still a progress. It's a slow process.
 4. My bestfriend arrived from Japan, and I got a few Hello Kitty stuff with me again. Pinaka-cute tong si Hello Kitty football player. 
5. Tumaas yata ang grado ng mata ko. Nahihilo ako kapag nagbabasa ng matagal. Nagigising na lang ako sa umaga na nakatakip sa mukha ko yung libro. LOL.
6. Yung mga fri…

Shake It Off

Shake It Off Moments
1.Dumating na yung test sa Science, tinuro ko sya Mother Tongue as per directive. Ang test nasa English.
2.Prepared ako magturo, absent ang tatlong teachers. Di ako maka-ikot sa mga dapat kong turuan.
3.Kinuha ko yung number ng gym na naka-post dun sa labas ng gym, nung tinawagan ko, wrong number.
4.Anong nangyari sa professionalism sir/mam/sir?
Bad Teacher Moments
1.May lapis akong dala para sayo. Ano pang dahilan mo at di ka nagsusulat?
2.Paggising mo sa umaga, bago ka pumasok, isipin mo kung kaya mong maging mabuting bata. Kung kaya mo, go, maligo, magsepilyo at pumasok nang mabango sa school. Kung gustong subukan pwede rin. Kung hindi talaga kaya, baka gusto mong pag-isipan kung anong dapat ginagawa sa paaralan.
3.Simula bukas, magdadala na ko ng chili powder. Ang marinig kong magmura, bubudburan ko ang dila ng chili powder!
4.Nanay: Ako nga po sumuko na sa kulit at tigas ng ulo ng batang yan. Hindi ko na po alam ang gagawin.
Teacher: Baka gusto nyong pabakasyunin mun…

Work in Progress

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I thought I had my life all planned out. I thought I already know what will happen with me in the coming years, I know what I want, what I need and who I want to be. I really thought I do.

But here I am know, staring at my paper, holding a pencil on my left hand with nothing to write, I try to write something, but I erase it eventually. Then, nothing is in there anymore. This is my first assignment with the 6-month mentorship program I am currently under. It aims to re-design and match the skills and leadership skills we have acquired from the two years of teaching in a public school to our chosen hopefully lifelong careers after this experience.

Before our second meeting sometime this month, I have to make a layout of my life. From my current age up to the age I could ideally live.
Typing this post seems to be a lot easier than doing my life map.

Where do I start?
What do I start with?
How do I start all over again?
Do I really want to start over again?

This time, my personal chall…

Hagupit

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Cry Monday

6:49PM
Umiyak ako kanina.
Parang nagsusumbong lang. Di naman bago sakin ang pag-iyak. Malungkot man o masaya,umiiyak ako. Mas madalas na di ko mapigilan ang luha kapag nagkukwento ako tungkol sa mga masasayang bagay. Kesahodang sinuman ang makakita, basta masya ako, wapakels na. pero ang luha ng lungkot, iilan lang ang nakakakita. Kaya, iniiwasan ko din ang malasing, iba kasi ang trip ko pag lasing. (Friends, kung mabasa nyo man to, please…… secret na lang yun. Hahaha)
Mabalik tayo, umiyak ako kanina. Sa harap ng klase. Sa harap ng mga bata.
Dahil nakakainis. Nakakafrustrate. Ang sistema. Ang ugali ng ibang mga bata. Di ko na napigilan. Di ko yata sila kayang mahalin. Ayoko sila makita bukas. Ayoko na. Ilang beses ko na yan sinabi pero kinabuksan, papasok pa din ako. Katunayan nga, eto oh, gumagawa ako ng lesson plan para bukas.

Noong self-contained ang handle kong class, multimedia ang setup sa loob ng classroom at may routines ang mga bata. Nakakausap ko sila nang mahinahon. Alam nil…

Paggising, Bangon Agad!

As reflect on a few things I had learned this week, here are my three takeaways from someone I had met for the first time and had been generous enough to share things on how I could get started on building my life-long career. 

1.Branch Out. I had been used to thinking about the setbacks I could encounter whenever I think of trying out of something new. As you have said, I should never limit myself to things I thought I can or cannot do. Stop thinking about the challenges I may face if I choose one. I should lay all my options first.
2.Internalize. The question you’ve given, “Am I willing to do this every day of my life?”, is something I am asking myself. I try to ask myself more often this time. One thing is for sure, I want to go back to the corporate setting, but this time, I want to be part of more challenging tasks and not just someone who will sit at the corner part of the office and just do work. I want my corporate life to be meaningful and still be able to touch many lives for th…